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How Long? ~:Ashley{AIMZ}:~ TTC since Aug 2010; 2 kids; 2 angel babies; Coventry, Connecticut 18199 posts
24th Aug '12

We just found out yesterday that we lost our 11 week 3 day old baby. I'm not having a D&C because we want more children and don't want to lower our chances or risk any side effects of a D&C. I really can't stand to look at myself in the mirror right now because all I see is baby belly. It breaks my heart everytime and the cramps are killing me. Every time I feel them I know it's one step farther away from a healthy baby so my questions are



How long before my stomach goes down?



And how long do I have to wait for the cramps to stop?



Thanks.

Momma rooo 3 kids; Arizona 307 posts
24th Aug '12

I don't have any answers for you but just wanted to say, I hope the best for you! Im sorry about your lost!

Stephy + 2 2 kids; Lafayette, LA, United States 285 posts
24th Aug '12

I think you should have a D&C. I don't know much about it, but I'm pretty sure not having a D&C will also affect your chances of having other kids too. I am so sorry for your loss. I read once on here that the longer you wait for it the harder it will be to actually do it.

r a b b i t ™ 1 child; Wildcat stuck in the Cards-nation, KY, United States 27516 posts
24th Aug '12

Oh no!
I'm so sorry for your loss!!! :cry:



The belly will decrease as the hormones leave your system.
If you haven't passed the baby yet, you've got some time to spend with the cramps. It's going to be akin to labor. As the time comes for baby to pass through the cervix, the cramps will be more intense and more frequent. Once you pass everything they should start easing up within a few hours.



OMG, I'm so sorry for your loss. I can't help but to tear up right now for you :(

~:Ashley{AIMZ}:~ TTC since Aug 2010; 2 kids; 2 angel babies; Coventry, Connecticut 18199 posts
24th Aug '12
Quoting Jonathan's Mom + 1:" I think you should have a D&C. I don't know much about it, but I'm pretty sure not having a D&C ... [snip!] ... too. I am so sorry for your loss. I read once on here that the longer you wait for it the harder it will be to actually do it."


My midwives and I made the decision that not having a D&C was best.

~:Ashley{AIMZ}:~ TTC since Aug 2010; 2 kids; 2 angel babies; Coventry, Connecticut 18199 posts
24th Aug '12
Quoting Rabbit
AmandaSixx + JZS Due November 22; 2 kids; Gresham, Oregon 22002 posts
24th Aug '12

again im sorry for your loss :?

r a b b i t ™ 1 child; Wildcat stuck in the Cards-nation, KY, United States 27516 posts
24th Aug '12
Quoting Jonathan's Mom + 1:" I think you should have a D&C. I don't know much about it, but I'm pretty sure not having a D&C ... [snip!] ... too. I am so sorry for your loss. I read once on here that the longer you wait for it the harder it will be to actually do it."


It's much less traumatic for the uterus to expel the pregnancy naturally. A D&C can cause more scar tissue than a natural miscarriage will. D&Cs are also linked with a higher chance of having an ectopic pregnancy in the future.

~:Ashley{AIMZ}:~ TTC since Aug 2010; 2 kids; 2 angel babies; Coventry, Connecticut 18199 posts
24th Aug '12
Quoting Rabbit
Stephy + 2 2 kids; Lafayette, LA, United States 285 posts
24th Aug '12
Quoting ~:Ashley{AIMZ}:~:" My midwives and I made the decision that not having a D&C was best. "

My apologizes. I probably shouldn't have said anything at all because I don't know anything about D&Cs.I wish you all the best and I hope you can recover quickly. I can't even imagine how devastating that would be.

r a b b i t ™ 1 child; Wildcat stuck in the Cards-nation, KY, United States 27516 posts
24th Aug '12
Quoting ~:Ashley{AIMZ}:~:" Which is what we want to avoid. Thank you for that Danni. "


No problem.
I've never had a D&C but I'd never opt for one just because of the risks associated with them. I also think it's beneficial to the grieving process to pass the baby naturally. For those who aren't creeped out by it, being able to hold the gestational sac or baby is almost therapeutic. You at least get the opportunity to say goodbye regardless of whether you do or don't hold it.
If you ever need to talk, I've got an open ear.
I totally understand if you don't, too <3

r a b b i t ™ 1 child; Wildcat stuck in the Cards-nation, KY, United States 27516 posts
24th Aug '12
Quoting Jonathan's Mom + 1:" My apologizes. I probably shouldn't have said anything at all because I don't know anything about D&Cs.I ... [snip!] ... about D&Cs.I wish you all the best and I hope you can recover quickly. I can't even imagine how devastating that would be."


A lot of people aren't aware of the risks posed to future fertility with D&Cs. <3

~:Ashley{AIMZ}:~ TTC since Aug 2010; 2 kids; 2 angel babies; Coventry, Connecticut 18199 posts
24th Aug '12
Quoting Rabbit
EnnaBennaBanana 2 kids; Maryland 6168 posts
24th Aug '12

I'm so sorry for your loss :/



I will be praying for you!



My sister had this happen last year... Hopefully the doctors can figure out what's wrong :/
Have you had any bleeding yet? My sister I believe waited for bleeding that never came and instead of getting a D&C she had some insert pills?



<3 Again I am very sorry for your loss.

~:Ashley{AIMZ}:~ TTC since Aug 2010; 2 kids; 2 angel babies; Coventry, Connecticut 18199 posts
24th Aug '12

Thank you. I passed the baby earlier today. Now I'm just waiting on the bleeding to stop.