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I need advice/ venting Melissa's Mommy Due February 3; Ohio 123 posts
27th Aug '12

Okay so I have a messed up situation with my daughters father. My daughter is 7 months old and has a sister two weeks older than her. Her father led us on to believe that he was with the one girl heather and he led me to believe he was single. So that's that situation. But anyways we have been all fighting with each other on and off. The other baby mom doesn't like me because she didnt know about him seeing me. And of course i didnt know about her either. well now he isn't with either of us and he has this new girlfriend. She has a son about 14 months old. The baby is apparently living with her parents because her an the ex boyfriend or whoever broke up. Well now my daughters father is going around saying he is homeless because he moved out of the house with the other baby momma and is choosing to live in his car or at friends. When he has a perfectly safe place and a room at his mothers house. Anyways I was looking at this chicks facebook and apparently the ex boyfriend of his new fling tried to run my baby daddy off the road just last week because he thought she was in the car with him. I'm going to tell him I don't want this girl around my daughter melissa. To me she is just one of those people who when you meet you can tell there is just something that isnt right about her. And mind you I just met this new girlfriend tonight. And he told me its okay for her to hold my baby she is a mom too. and later this even they both said they were going out to smoke and when i went out to get my daughters stuff from my car they were having sex in his car in the drive way. I mean to me that's not making a good impression if he wants me to like this chick. Anyways he has me friday night if he could have her sunday or today (monday) to have melissa by his self so they can spend time together. He never called or asked to see her. His mom had to get ahold of him to see her. When he is spending time with the new girlfriends son. But yet can't even spend time with his own daughter...But since the other baby mom lets him take her daughter places and babysits her. Im the bitch for not letting him take her. And now heather isnt even letting him take their daughter because he took off with the baby friday and didnt come back with her for hours. And since his name is not on the birth certificate and he has no rights i dont want him to up and leave with my baby thinking this new chick is going to be her mommy. I mean am I in the wrong to be thinking like this. And to not want her around my baby?? I mean what would you do if you were me? Its getting close to winter time and since hes living in his car i dont want him to take her and spend time with her in a car. Or he keeps saying hes looking for a place to live. but if this chick is going to live with him i dont want my daughter there either. I can pin point what it is but theres something in my gut telling me this chick is trouble. so if you were me would you be the same way or am I in the wrong. what would you do..

Legendary Yo Mama Due January 31 (boy); 12 kids; 724 posts
27th Aug '12

Go to court and let them sort this out...

Genia Marie Due October 14 (girl); Jacksonville, Florida 2 posts
27th Aug '12

Your ultimate job at this point is to provide and protect your baby. This doesn't sound like a good father to me. He would have to have a place of his own for my daughter to leave with him. How I would handle the situation is tell him until it is court ordered, he will have supervised visitation or nothing at all. I would stick to that.

Gosloving 1 child; Washington 12831 posts
27th Aug '12

First, I don't see what his other BM nor his new girlfriend have to do in the picture. If he doesn't want to see his daughter then he doesn't if he does good. However, NO! I've been in your shoes and I wouldn't care if the other chick is a mom or not if I have a bad feeling about someone I will not allow my child near them. Anyways, it doesn't even seem like BD gives a damn since he's not putting effort into seeing his child.

Melissa's Mommy Due February 3; Ohio 123 posts
27th Aug '12

thank you for your advice. I know its my job as a single parent and a mom to protect my baby i just dont know how to go about with this. But i feel as her mother i should have a say in who he brings around her. I mean i know i would never let someone around her who would hurt her. buts its just that mothers gut instinct, that this woman is bad news

Gosloving 1 child; Washington 12831 posts
27th Aug '12
Quoting Melissa's Mommy:" thank you for your advice. I know its my job as a single parent and a mom to protect my baby i just dont ... [snip!] ... i would never let someone around her who would hurt her. buts its just that mothers gut instinct, that this woman is bad news"


I personally feel like you have only a 50% say. He is her father too. He can bring whoever he wants around her.

Beth~N~Lizzie 1 child; Winter Haven, Florida 2755 posts
28th Aug '12

He sounds like a loser. I would stay away from him until you go to court

stevies*mommy 2 kids; Washington 189 posts
28th Aug '12
Quoting Genia Marie:" Your ultimate job at this point is to provide and protect your baby. This doesn't sound like a good ... [snip!] ... situation is tell him until it is court ordered, he will have supervised visitation or nothing at all. I would stick to that."


This:!:

Lupin 2 kids; Edmonton, Alberta 10451 posts
28th Aug '12

Go to Court, Have it "Set In Stone" That he is ONLY allowed to have the baby at his Parent's House. That you have reason to believe that he does not have a Safe Place otherwise to visit. And actually Unless they are Engaged or Married you may actually be able to limit who he does bring around.
The Other thing you NEED to do, Is try & send out an Olive Branch to the Momma of Your Daughter's SISTER. Try & arrange Playdates between them. Create a Bond there.

Melissa's Mommy Due February 3; Ohio 123 posts
28th Aug '12
Quoting Lupin:" Go to Court, Have it "Set In Stone" That he is ONLY allowed to have the baby at his Parent's House. That ... [snip!] ... send out an Olive Branch to the Momma of Your Daughter's SISTER. Try & arrange Playdates between them. Create a Bond there."


That's what I would like to do because we both got screwed over. I would like to try and make it to where there is no fighting between her and I. Because i know if we could get along we can be there for each other.

Beth~N~Lizzie 1 child; Winter Haven, Florida 2755 posts
28th Aug '12

<blockquote><b>Quoting Melissa's Mommy:</b>" That's what I would like to do because we both got screwed over. I would like to try and make it to ... [snip!] ... make it to where there is no fighting between her and I. Because i know if we could get along we can be there for each other."</blockquote>
I used to not get along with my BD's wife ( now ex ). But now that we are in the same boat, we are good friends, and give each other moral support

Lupin 2 kids; Edmonton, Alberta 10451 posts
28th Aug '12
Quoting Melissa's Mommy:" That's what I would like to do because we both got screwed over. I would like to try and make it to ... [snip!] ... make it to where there is no fighting between her and I. Because i know if we could get along we can be there for each other."


It will actually strengthen Your Cases if he tries to do anything Stupid to Either of you.
As in YOU are trying to Keep Biological sibling Ties/Bonds intact, where he has done Nothing but try to Destroy them.
I'm glad that You at least have realized that you 2 are each others Greatest Weapons against him.

Melissa's Mommy Due February 3; Ohio 123 posts
28th Aug '12
Quoting Lupin:" It will actually strengthen Your Cases if he tries to do anything Stupid to Either of you. As in YOU ... [snip!] ... but try to Destroy them. I'm glad that You at least have realized that you 2 are each others Greatest Weapons against him."


now only to get her to see this. I've been sending her messages on facebook trying to talk to her because we both are being disrespect by him and his new girlfriend. It needs to end as moms we need to take a stand for both kids