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I'm having a hard time adjusting to being a single mommy Chrissy.Ann 1 child; California 389 posts
28th Aug '12

It's been a while since I've been on here, but I'm in need of venting and maybe some advise.



After being together for 3 years, and bringing a child into this world I thought everything was going great.. Ugh.
We broke up a month before we were supposed to be getting married...and ever since then I've been struggling with being a newly single mom.



I've been extremely depressed, wishing things could just go back to the way they were before. I cry every night, not because I'm sad that I don't have him, but because my daughter deserves a good daddy, the daddy that he was when we were together. I feel like ever since we split his prioities have changed and responsibility went out the window. I never knew he had it in him to be like this. He never shows up when he says he will. He doesn't help me financially at all for Hannah... He's given me 50 dollars total in the last three months, and I know damn well he makes good money. There's been one weekend where he said his mom was going to pick her up and that he would get her from his mom later, so I agreed to letting her pick up Hannah, just for her to call me at 1130 at night saying her son never showed up.



It's breaking my heart. My daughter loves her daddy so much.
I know she misses him.. when she does see him, if he walks away for even a minute she starts screaming and crying holding her hands out for him.



I really don't know what to do. I love him still, but I hate who he's becoming. Partying should never be more important than your children. There's a time and place for everything. I try to disregard the things that people tell me about him or what he's been up to, because I'm not one for drama, but when I hear he might be getting back into drugs I really worry.



Urghhh. So much frustration and confusion and disappointment \:

greenmamabecky☮ TTC since Jul 2013; 18 kids; Enfield, Connecticut 20987 posts
28th Aug '12
Quoting Chrissy.Ann:" It's been a while since I've been on here, but I'm in need of venting and maybe some advise. After being ... [snip!] ... I hear he might be getting back into drugs I really worry. Urghhh. So much frustration and confusion and disappointment \:"


Take him to court. Tell them you're afraid he's doing drugs. Get child support. Get eberything done through court. I know it hurts now. I bawled my eyes out the day I talked to a lawyer and he told me I had to just keep my son from his dad until I knew he was safe and clean.

It took 8 months(which I did let him see him supervised) for him to get clean and he's now a completely different person. It was a huge struggle in the beginning though. He failed all his drug tests through court until he was ordered to go to detox and then straight to an intensive outpatient program. Now he goes to NA and AA meetings voluntarily almost every day, just got a good job, and sees his son all the time. He is also paying child support through DOR.

Party of 6 4 kids; Nevada 7280 posts
28th Aug '12

I'm sorry it's so rough for you :( I was a single mom for most of my pregnancy and the first 2 years. He got into drugs after 7 years together. All I can say is it DOES get better. There will come a point when you just don't care anymore. And I promise you, if he doesn't want to be a part of your daughters life, someone else will. I've been through it all with my daughters biological father, so if you ever need someone to talk to, don't hesitate to pm me

greenmamabecky☮ TTC since Jul 2013; 18 kids; Enfield, Connecticut 20987 posts
28th Aug '12

I never thought it would work for him. I thought if I took his son away he would just give up. But he fought. It was half assed at first, but once he realized how close he was to losing his son forever he DID fight.

stevies*mommy 2 kids; Washington 189 posts
28th Aug '12

I'm so sorry...it's hard being a single parent and seeing the hurt it causes the babies...hopefully he's not on drugs and this is just a phase...a lot of my friends have split from their BD and had BD act this way...go wild as soon as they get that freedom. i hope he gets his act together... if not i'd record all the missed visits and take him to court and get visitation ordered for less time than you think he'd want...i know as soon as my ex realized how bad it looked on him and that i didn't have to let him pick and choose when he came and didn't. he has been very consistent in his visits. i think the idea of having limits to how often he can have the kid is scary and kills the joy of the new found freedom. also the more routine the visits are the easier it will be for your DD.