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Cast Your Vote:

    • DO IT -- Votes: 26
    • don't do it. -- Votes: 3
    • other (post below) -- Votes: 1
Mom of 4 + 1 on the way Due January 25; 4 kids; Des Moines, Iowa 87 posts
30th Aug '12
Quoting Hannah Dilks:" Soo, the baby's father (20 y.o.) has decided from the get-go that he wants nothing to do with his child... ... [snip!] ... by immaculate conception, it might save me a whole butt load of drama. Please vote and post opinions/experiences. Thanks!"


if you go to get on title 19 or food stamps for the baby or FIP, there going to make you name a dad anyways might as well just start it now the baby and you deserve the money, and if he dont make his payments they will take his taxes to make up for it,

Amanda Edmonds Due December 30; South Carolina 3 posts
1st Sep '12

Ultimately, unless you are wanting your baby exposed to a here now gone the next day sperm donor, because thats all he is at this point, then don't seek child support. With child support, comes visitation rights. If you can make ends meet without subjecting you and your child to more drama and even heart ache for the child when the person they call daddy lets them down by not being consistent then please do so. Your child will be a product of the surrounding you place around them. Is the risk of having he/she exposed to any manner of things (his girlfriends, even a possible wife in the future, his friends and his lifestyle) really worth the money? And when he doesn't pay what will happen? He'll go to jail and you will be asked to come to the hearing each time. And putting him in jail won't solve anything. If it were me, I'd give him his wish and raise my child with the support of those that truly love you and your baby. But its your decision. Also, if you marry and you want your child to be free for your husband to adopt as his child, not seeking child support and not listing him as the father will make that a lot easier. Just be sure you keep your emotions out of it and keep the best interest of the child first. That can be very very hard to do with anger and resentment.

Mom of 4 + 1 on the way Due January 25; 4 kids; Des Moines, Iowa 87 posts
2nd Sep '12
Quoting Hannah Dilks:" If i do go for child support, that means that he has the right to choose to see his son. Not saying he ... [snip!] ... doing. I don't beilieve he is mature enough to make the right decisions like to not smoke pot/be high when he is around my son"


Child support and visitation are 2 different things and child support recovery will tell you that, you dont have to let him see he baby unless there is a court order

Mom of 4 + 1 on the way Due January 25; 4 kids; Des Moines, Iowa 87 posts
2nd Sep '12
Quoting Amanda Edmonds:" Ultimately, unless you are wanting your baby exposed to a here now gone the next day sperm donor, because ... [snip!] ... emotions out of it and keep the best interest of the child first. That can be very very hard to do with anger and resentment. "


Child support and visistation are 2 different things you dont have to let them see the baby even if they do pay child support only a court order can make you let the dad see the child

Lexrex TTC since Nov 2013; 32 kids; 3 angel babies; Nebraska 4295 posts
2nd Sep '12

My cousin is going through child support now..she doesnt work because she stays home and watches her daughter and her sisters son which are a month and a half apart in age..One turns two February and the other end of march. Well her sister isnt paying her to watch the kid for her while shes at work. The money my cousin had saved before she had her daughter is gone and the dad comes around when he wants, which is rarely ever!. My cousins baby daddy told her that if she gets child support on him he will take her to court for full custody of the little girl.
Could this happen because he works and she doesnt?
Or no because he also has two older children by two different women that he doesnt take care of also.

Mom of 4 + 1 on the way Due January 25; 4 kids; Des Moines, Iowa 87 posts
2nd Sep '12
Quoting LexrexAndDomorex:" My cousin is going through child support now..she doesnt work because she stays home and watches her ... [snip!] ... he works and she doesnt? Or no because he also has two older children by two different women that he doesnt take care of also."


he have to prove she was unfit in order to have the child taken away. he may get visits but doupt he will get custody, the mom isnt doing anything wrong.

Lexrex TTC since Nov 2013; 32 kids; 3 angel babies; Nebraska 4295 posts
2nd Sep '12

<blockquote><b>Quoting Mom of 4 + 1 on the way:</b>" he have to prove she was unfit in order to have the child taken away. he may get visits but doupt he will get custody, the mom isnt doing anything wrong."</blockquote>




He doesnt come see the baby now, so i dont think he needs visitation. The day after the baby was born he said he was going to buy baby stuff the dumbass went and played basketball!

Mom of 4 + 1 on the way Due January 25; 4 kids; Des Moines, Iowa 87 posts
4th Sep '12
Quoting LexrexAndDomorex:" <blockquote><b>Quoting Mom of 4 + 1 on the way:</b>" he have to prove she was unfit ... [snip!] ... visitation. The day after the baby was born he said he was going to buy baby stuff the dumbass went and played basketball!"


you dont have to allow visits when he is paying child support the only time you have to give him the visit is if he goes to court and most (not all) men will through it at you and then not do anything about it

Lexrex TTC since Nov 2013; 32 kids; 3 angel babies; Nebraska 4295 posts
4th Sep '12

<blockquote><b>Quoting Mom of 4 + 1 on the way:</b>" you dont have to allow visits when he is paying child support the only time you have to give him the ... [snip!] ... to give him the visit is if he goes to court and most (not all) men will through it at you and then not do anything about it"</blockquote>




My cousin filled out the child support papers yesterday and my dad is taking them into the office.

Mom of 4 + 1 on the way Due January 25; 4 kids; Des Moines, Iowa 87 posts
5th Sep '12
Quoting LexrexAndDomorex:" <blockquote><b>Quoting Mom of 4 + 1 on the way:</b>" you dont have to allow visits ... [snip!] ... it"</blockquote> My cousin filled out the child support papers yesterday and my dad is taking them into the office."


thats good, best of luck to her and her babies

Brantley+Savannah 2 kids; Mills River, NC, United States 3119 posts
25th Nov '12

my view on this subject has changed so drastically. Name him on the birth certificate and get him for child support, hes still his son, if he decides to see him or not is his decision to make, not yours. You did not create this baby by yourself. He is just as much his as he is yours. I didnt know my dad untill i was 14 years old and i blame my mom for that for not allowing me and my sister ro know him for no good reason. he has tried to see us and she wouldnt allow it. My friends mom has 2 good for nothing baby daddies and she let her daughters decide for themselves whether or not they wanted to see their fathers, she didnt make that decision for them. Unless there is more of a reason for him not to be around other then, "oh, he decided not to be involved with his child so hes not allowed to change his mind"




on the birth certificate thing though, DH had to be at the hospital to show ID and prove that i wasnt just pulling some name out my smurf to put on the BC ( we werent married at that time )