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I've been reading a lot.. katxo 18 kids; Florida 7270 posts
30th Aug '12

I found out during my emergency room visit at the hospital that my m/c was a result of a blighted ovum. I've been reading a lot about it online and does my m/c even seem justifiable?(as in me being so upset) Online and even at my OB's office the nurse, the way they make it sound is it's not even a baby, just a sac that was formed, etc. I'm still deeply saddened and hurt by my m/c of July last month. I'm trying to get over it but most days I cry and still get upset. Do I even have a reason to cry and be upset all the time?

kthx. Due January 13 (girl); Cleves, Ohio 66665 posts
30th Aug '12

You have every right to be upset. Even if there was no baby in there, you were still becoming emotionally attached to the thought of a baby being in there. And then losing that... of course you have every right to be upset, sweetie<3

Mak&Row 18 kids; Portland, Oregon 763 posts
30th Aug '12

Yes you do...and shame on your OB's office to make you feel that way. You do not need anyone's permission to grieve...

user banned 2 kids; Minnesota 7318 posts
30th Aug '12
Quoting KKat:" I found out during my emergency room visit at the hospital that my m/c was a result of a blighted ovum. ... [snip!] ... I'm trying to get over it but most days I cry and still get upset. Do I even have a reason to cry and be upset all the time?"


You don't need to have science backing you feeling upset. Of course it's justified. You felt you were having a baby.



Nobody who is pregnant in the first trimester is attached to their actual baby, because they don't know them. They are attached and in love with the idea of having a baby, the promise of having a baby that a positive pregnancy test seems to give them.



You had that. Don't downplay your feelings because of some words on a page.

Mak&Row 18 kids; Portland, Oregon 763 posts
30th Aug '12
Quoting Chim Richalds:" You don't need to have science backing you feeling upset. Of course it's justified. You felt you were ... [snip!] ... that a positive pregnancy test seems to give them. You had that. Don't downplay your feelings because of some words on a page."

Hmmm..I wouldn't say nobody...to each is their own. I had a MC at 3 weeks and was hurt to the core...I felt my betrayed by my body. So when we got pregnant again, we got to see our little one at 5, 6, 7, 11, 20 and 32 weeks gestation. Every time I saw my little one, I love her more and more. We didn't find out she was a she until the day she was born, but I felt like she has been a part of our family the minute we found out we were having her.

user banned 2 kids; Minnesota 7318 posts
30th Aug '12
Quoting Mak&Row:" Hmmm..I wouldn't say nobody...to each is their own. I had a MC at 3 weeks and was hurt to the core...I ... [snip!] ... she until the day she was born, but I felt like she has been a part of our family the minute we found out we were having her. "


Exactly. You felt she was part of the family the SECOND you found out you were having her. You didn't know her but you loved her anyway, because you were told you were having a baby.



That is just how OP felt.

Mak&Row 18 kids; Portland, Oregon 763 posts
30th Aug '12

<blockquote><b>Quoting Chim Richalds:</b>" Exactly. You felt she was part of the family the SECOND you found out you were having her. You didn't ... [snip!] ... her. You didn't know her but you loved her anyway, because you were told you were having a baby. That is just how OP felt."</blockquote>



Okay...but I was attached too

user banned 2 kids; Minnesota 7318 posts
30th Aug '12
Quoting Mak&Row:" <blockquote><b>Quoting Chim Richalds:</b>" Exactly. You felt she was part of the ... [snip!] ... because you were told you were having a baby. That is just how OP felt."</blockquote> Okay...but I was attached too"


I never said you weren't attached. I refuse to argue in suffering and loss. I'm sorry my condolences offended you.

Mak&Row 18 kids; Portland, Oregon 763 posts
30th Aug '12
Quoting Chim Richalds:" I never said you weren't attached. I refuse to argue in suffering and loss. I'm sorry my condolences offended you."


No offense...I never thought it would happen to me none the less how I would react> it is nice to talk about MC with women in a forum like this because I think that it is healing. There are a lot of women that know how it feels.

Squeaky McGee [7 wks] Due May 7; 2 kids; 3 angel babies; Indiana 65195 posts
30th Aug '12

As the others have said, you have every right to be upset and hurt, and you're not making too much out of this. Science may say that it was just a grouping of cells, but in your heart and mind, it was your baby.

CatLady Texas 1244 posts
31st Aug '12

You have every right to feel upset and to grieve for your miscarriage. Just because it was a blighted ovum doesn't mean it's not painful or that you weren't pregnant. I had these feelings when i was told they thought i had a blighted ovum (turned out it wasn't and they just missed the baby on ultrasound) I felt like i shouldn't have been as sad as i was because there was never a baby. It's a horrible feeling especially when others tell you you shouldn't be as upset as you should be. I'm really sorry for your loss.