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Would you give an abusive ex/baby's daddy another chance? vivalacandy Texas 82 posts
1st Sep '12

If he was taking classes and trying to change and vowed to never hurt you physically again-would you or wouldn't you give the relationship another chance (you have a child together)?



(he was physically/verbally/mentally abusive when we were together)

Colt's mommy 1 child; Moore, Oklahoma 21324 posts
status 1st Sep '12

It would depend on the circumstances but most likely, no. Or at least not for a few years of friendship to see if he really is going to change.

The Blissful Six 4 kids; 1 angel baby; Massachusetts 10260 posts
1st Sep '12

No.. no way.

Britney! 1 child; Florida 3135 posts
1st Sep '12
Quoting Colt's mommy:" It would depend on the circumstances but most likely, no. Or at least not for a few years of friendship to see if he really is going to change."


:!::!:

ModernMan'sHustle ♥ 1 child; Akron, Ohio 983 posts
1st Sep '12

NO! There's more fish in the sea. Lots and lots that won't be abusive...

Sarah ♥ K&K 2 kids; 2 angel babies; South Land, CA, United States 116990 posts
1st Sep '12

Probably not.

vivalacandy Texas 82 posts
1st Sep '12
Quoting ModernMan'sHustle ♥:" NO! There's more fish in the sea. Lots and lots that won't be abusive..."

it's kinda hard to see that when you are an extremely busy single mom of two. i dont get the chance to date and im always looking too scruffy to attract any potential dates :(

Sara Go 1 child; San Diego, California 866 posts
1st Sep '12

I feel like it's more of a threshold thing. Once someone has been able to abuse you, or cheat or anything, and you take them back, the threshold has been crossed. You can't change a person and you and your kids deserve to be around someone that isn't inclined to treat you badly. Plenty of men are out there that will treat you right.

ModernMan'sHustle ♥ 1 child; Akron, Ohio 983 posts
1st Sep '12
Quoting vivalacandy:" it's kinda hard to see that when you are an extremely busy single mom of two. i dont get the chance to date and im always looking too scruffy to attract any potential dates :("


So you'd rather go back to someone who's been physically/mentally/verbally abusive because you're too busy? That doesn't make much sense doll. Find a sitter and go out with some friends. Or try a dating site. Or just try being single. But from experience of myself and 2 close friends....once they're abusive, they're always going to be. Counseling or not.

vivalacandy Texas 82 posts
1st Sep '12
Quoting ModernMan'sHustle ♥:" So you'd rather go back to someone who's been physically/mentally/verbally abusive because you're too ... [snip!] ... But from experience of myself and 2 close friends....once they're abusive, they're always going to be. Counseling or not."

well I have always been a codependant type person, never been single...so it kinda scares me. then the whole idea of trying to find mister right withouth having to "lower my standards" seems impossible since i have 2 kids (not just 1)..I may or may not be making sense.

vivalacandy Texas 82 posts
1st Sep '12
Quoting Sara Go:" I feel like it's more of a threshold thing. Once someone has been able to abuse you, or cheat or anything, ... [snip!] ... deserve to be around someone that isn't inclined to treat you badly. Plenty of men are out there that will treat you right."

I guess this makes sense. As though they have pretty much lost all respect from you from the first episode. So taking them back tells them you are okay with it right?

ModernMan'sHustle ♥ 1 child; Akron, Ohio 983 posts
1st Sep '12
Quoting vivalacandy:" I guess this makes sense. As though they have pretty much lost all respect from you from the first episode. So taking them back tells them you are okay with it right?"


Exactly, he's done it before and gotten away with it so why couldn't he again?

vivalacandy Texas 82 posts
1st Sep '12
Quoting ModernMan'sHustle ♥:" Exactly, he's done it before and gotten away with it so why couldn't he again?"


Yes, you are right.

Sara Go 1 child; San Diego, California 866 posts
1st Sep '12

<blockquote><b>Quoting vivalacandy:</b>" I guess this makes sense. As though they have pretty much lost all respect from you from the first episode. So taking them back tells them you are okay with it right?"</blockquote>




Exactly. Everyone deserves respect and to be treated well. Good luck mama

Juliann Ruland Due November 28 (girl); 2 kids; Yakima, Washington 37 posts
1st Sep '12
Quoting vivalacandy:" well I have always been a codependant type person, never been single...so it kinda scares me. then the ... [snip!] ... withouth having to "lower my standards" seems impossible since i have 2 kids (not just 1)..I may or may not be making sense."


It is not an impossible task. As much as it seems. I have two kids and am now expecting my third and am once again a single mother. Some how with having gone to school full time and then working three jobs and being a parent I was able to have a relationship and almost get maried and end up pregnant. Then I found out he was not a good guy :/. So As much as being a single parent and having kids and trying to date is scary, It is Possible, just dont sell yourself short and get with a guy because you are tired of being lonely or go back to an ex because its comfortable. Always remember an ex is an ex for a reason, I am good friends with my daughters father and everyonce in a while I start to think about him and I, I have to remind myself we can be friends but are horrible as a couple. Just because I am lonely I'm not going to go there, that was my mistake with the last, he was the first in years and I was stupid.