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Cast Your Vote:

    • no -- Votes: 24
    • yes -- Votes: 39
veggie86 TTC since Apr 2014; Somewhere, IA, United States 90 posts
Sep 13th '12

Are you two living together outside of your parents homes? If you're not paying your own rent and don't have a stable career, you really shouldn't be TTC. Seriously, you're in high school, enjoy it!



My middle sister has a 7 month old daughter who hasn't slept through the night once since she was born. She wakes up every 30-60 minutes, EVERY. SINGLE. NIGHT. My sister keeps getting sick because her immune system is so low from lack of sleep. Her daughter is adorable (love her to pieces), but VERY stubborn and needy. You never know what you're going to get.



My Mom had her first child at 21 (she was 9 months pregnant on her 21st birthday) and her last at 29. She has always told her kids to wait to have kids and get settled and enjoy life first. My parents struggled financially because paying a sitter would cost more than my Mom could make working (she was a SAHM). My Mom never had time for herself. Even now, at 55, she is always babysitting and financially helping her kids (she just had to buy my oldest sister a 10k car). Parenting never ends. Just wait. Get married, buy a house, get your education, have cushion money.

L.A.W.IsTheName 2 kids; Ohio 1749 posts
Sep 14th '12

DS was planneed at 18... LO was not... they are 10 months aprt and I just turned 20...



When I was 18 I had given up on school already, but had a pretty good job made good money, was about to move out, decided we wanted a baby... I love my son to eath and he is my world but I really wish I had waited... the dad and I didn't work, turned out he was an abusove alchoholic, at about 25 werks I got witb SO ane he has been amazing... he is dad he took full responsibilty (he just doesn't like diapers) I had to quit my job at the beginning of my pregnancy because of my BP. I had DS and we were living with my parents, we finally got up on our feet during my pregnancy with LO and SO got hurt really bad... we lost the apt we had gotten and now live in my parents living room... its hard as hell. 2 kids under the age of one... DS hasa horrible temper amd LO has health problems.. (nothing super serious but enough to make it harder on us)



Please wait, you think your ready, I did, but your not... don't you wanna give your baby the absolute best? You CANT do that at 18.. you just cant

veggie86 TTC since Apr 2014; Somewhere, IA, United States 90 posts
Sep 14th '12
Quoting mommy2noah&crystel:" don't you wanna give your baby the absolute best? You CANT do that at 18.. you just cant"


:!::!::!:

Back to Noob Status Ohio 14048 posts
Sep 15th '12
Quoting mommy2noah&crystel:" DS was planneed at 18... LO was not... they are 10 months aprt and I just turned 20... When I was 18 ... [snip!] ... your ready, I did, but your not... don't you wanna give your baby the absolute best? You CANT do that at 18.. you just cant"


Curious...what is "good money" in your opinion?

L.A.W.IsTheName 2 kids; Ohio 1749 posts
Sep 15th '12

<blockquote><b>Quoting Back to Noob Status:</b>" Curious...what is "good money" in your opinion? "</blockquote>



Not surw what that has to do with my post... but I was making between 200-300 a week and the guy I was with back then was making between 300-400 a week...

veggie86 TTC since Apr 2014; Somewhere, IA, United States 90 posts
Sep 16th '12
Quoting mommy2noah&crystel:" <blockquote><b>Quoting Back to Noob Status:</b>" Curious...what is "good money" in ... [snip!] ... with my post... but I was making between 200-300 a week and the guy I was with back then was making between 300-400 a week..."


In your post, you said you made good money, that's why she quoted you.



Does 200-300 a week cover living expenses where you live? Where I live, my 1 bedroom apartment costs me 1,400 a month alone, not including everything else (car insurance, cell phone, food, pet food, gas, extras). I couldn't imagine adding a child to the mix now, I'm barely getting by making more than double what you made.

L.A.W.IsTheName 2 kids; Ohio 1749 posts
Sep 16th '12

<blockquote><b>Quoting veggie86:</b>" In your post, you said you made good money, that's why she quoted you. Does 200-300 a week cover living ... [snip!] ... gas, extras). I couldn't imagine adding a child to the mix now, I'm barely getting by making more than double what you made."</blockquote>




That was 2 years ago and that with my exes income as well it would have covered everythng, my SO and I had a 2 bedroom apt for 520 a month

veggie86 TTC since Apr 2014; Somewhere, IA, United States 90 posts
Sep 16th '12
Quoting mommy2noah&crystel:" <blockquote><b>Quoting veggie86:</b>" In your post, you said you made good money, ... [snip!] ... years ago and that with my exes income as well it would have covered everythng, my SO and I had a 2 bedroom apt for 520 a month"


If I didn't have so many roots here in So Cal, I would move. The cost of living is ridiculous here.



I'm not going to TTC again until I know I could support a child without the father being involved. I know that sounds weird, but I've seen my sisters and friends burned horribly. I hope the OP takes that into account.

Bad Things Blacksburg, SC, United States 21225 posts
Sep 16th '12
Quoting veggie86:" If I didn't have so many roots here in So Cal, I would move. The cost of living is ridiculous here. ... [snip!] ... I know that sounds weird, but I've seen my sisters and friends burned horribly. I hope the OP takes that into account."


This.



And shit can happen.




Do you really want to be completely dependent on your boyfriend? What if you get stuck on bed rest and can't finish school or have a job? What if your child has a disorder? Will you be able to afford the hospital and therapy bills? You can have the idea of a perfect fairy tale family all you want, but in the end, all you are left with is no friends, a stressful relationship, no further education, and a child at your hip.

L.A.W.IsTheName 2 kids; Ohio 1749 posts
Sep 16th '12

<blockquote><b>Quoting BoogerBear's Momma:</b>" This. And shit can happen. Do you really want to be completely dependent on your boyfriend? What ... [snip!] ... but in the end, all you are left with is no friends, a stressful relationship, no further education, and a child at your hip. "</blockquote>



This! Like I said in my original post, we had things set... and everything fell apart

veggie86 TTC since Apr 2014; Somewhere, IA, United States 90 posts
Sep 16th '12
Quoting BoogerBear's Momma:" This. And shit can happen. Do you really want to be completely dependent on your boyfriend? What ... [snip!] ... but in the end, all you are left with is no friends, a stressful relationship, no further education, and a child at your hip. "


My cousin is owed over $33,000 from the father of her 2 kids, she still hasn't been a dime. And he just had another child with another woman. My sister is owed over 10k from her deadbeat ex for their 2 kids. I know 3 other girls who are owed large amounts of child support from deadbeats who want nothing to do with their kids. I'm not saying at all that this will happen to the OP (I bet he's a great guy), but when bringing another life into the world, it's so important to plan for the worst. You can't prevent everything, but you can safeguard yourself. Getting a career and work experience will really help insure security later on if the woman needs to go back to work for whatever reason.



I really hope the OP waits.