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what happens? Lorelei's Mommy ♥ 1 child; Scotts Valley, CA, United States 1463 posts
5th Sep '12

What happens if youve been to court and the judge gave your BD visitation and he doesnt use it?
My BD was awarded 18 a WEEK and has only done 10 hours TOTAL in three months.
We have court in 3 weeks so I'm curious if the judge will take it away? Lower it?
anything?

Iyahna :^P Southern California, CA, United States 12750 posts
status 5th Sep '12

I hope they lower it.I know plenty of fathers who only gets 8 hours a month who would die for that much time together.Is he at least financially securing your child?

mamarama Due February 27; Denver, Colorado 57 posts
5th Sep '12

You need to document the time he does use and the time he does not. If he uses less then a certain percentage then sometimes the judge will cut his time and up his CS.

Lorelei's Mommy ♥ 1 child; Scotts Valley, CA, United States 1463 posts
5th Sep '12
Quoting Iyahna :^P:" I hope they lower it.I know plenty of fathers who only gets 8 hours a month who would die for that much time together.Is he at least financially securing your child?"

no. He doesnt pay CS.. Thats part of the hearing in 3 weeks.
The date was set up to 'Check up' on how visitation was going. The judge ordered it when we had our last court hearing.
My lawyer and I added Child support to the hearing. I THOUGHT he was already ordered to pay since I sent the packet into CS but i guess it was never filed. The CS called me a few weeks ago to get all my info. I just received a letter they cant 'find' my BD. Which means hes dodging it. :/

Lorelei's Mommy ♥ 1 child; Scotts Valley, CA, United States 1463 posts
5th Sep '12
Quoting mamarama:" You need to document the time he does use and the time he does not. If he uses less then a certain percentage then sometimes the judge will cut his time and up his CS."

Oh, i have EVERYTHING documented. ALL calls and texts. I've also been keeping my lawyer up to date and hes been trying to keep my BD's lawyer up to date as well, so its not a big surprise to them in court.

mamarama Due February 27; Denver, Colorado 57 posts
7th Sep '12

Good. Do you know where he is living? If he's trying to dodge you can speed things up by giving them the info, even if it's just his locations and a time so he can be served.

Lorelei's Mommy ♥ 1 child; Scotts Valley, CA, United States 1463 posts
7th Sep '12
Quoting mamarama:" Good. Do you know where he is living? If he's trying to dodge you can speed things up by giving them the info, even if it's just his locations and a time so he can be served."

Well when I talked to the CS lady I gave her his new phone number, his new address, his lawyers name and where he works.

mamarama Due February 27; Denver, Colorado 57 posts
9th Sep '12

Have you contacted your state attorney general? I would recommend doing so, filing the cs report with them, and explaining the situation, the child support office hates when you do this because then their supervisors light a match under their ass to get them in gear, but you do what ya gotta do.

Lorelei's Mommy ♥ 1 child; Scotts Valley, CA, United States 1463 posts
9th Sep '12
Quoting mamarama:" Have you contacted your state attorney general? I would recommend doing so, filing the cs report with ... [snip!] ... when you do this because then their supervisors light a match under their ass to get them in gear, but you do what ya gotta do

I remember you saying that before. I was planning on waiting until after court to see if the judge orders anything. We go next week.
But thanks.

mamarama Due February 27; Denver, Colorado 57 posts
9th Sep '12

Good luck, I hope your judge gets things moving in a positive way.

Beth~N~Lizzie 1 child; Winter Haven, Florida 2755 posts
9th Sep '12

I didn't know could complain about CSE! I'm filing one tomorrow.

mamarama Due February 27; Denver, Colorado 57 posts
10th Sep '12

Oh yes, you can defiantly complain, they of course do not inform you of such an action, but yes you can complain, file reports, put a non-paying parent on the dead beat list, the old saying "The squeaky wheel gets the grease." applies very well in child support cases, I became such a pain myself that after 5 long unproductive years, I began calling upwards to 20 times a day, playing the on hold game right back, contacting my states AG twice a week, and going on angies list, and even the BBB, took 3 months to get done what they didn't in five years. I talked to every superviser they had, every office contacted, at the end my grits were the ones getting kissed.

Beth~N~Lizzie 1 child; Winter Haven, Florida 2755 posts
10th Sep '12
Quoting mamarama:" Oh yes, you can defiantly complain, they of course do not inform you of such an action, but yes you can ... [snip!] ... in five years. I talked to every superviser they had, every office contacted, at the end my grits were the ones getting kissed."

I need to do that!!

Lorelei's Mommy ♥ 1 child; Scotts Valley, CA, United States 1463 posts
11th Sep '12
Quoting mamarama:" Oh yes, you can defiantly complain, they of course do not inform you of such an action, but yes you can ... [snip!] ... in five years. I talked to every superviser they had, every office contacted, at the end my grits were the ones getting kissed."

so what did that accomplish? does he pay now or is he being punished for not?

mamarama Due February 27; Denver, Colorado 57 posts
11th Sep '12

I got full custody for proven abandonment, and he is paying into a seperate fund (set up by me for my son and his future.) $300 a month, he hasn't missed a payment since because I am b***h enough to be loud, obnoxious and horrible and well informed of the laws and my rights enough to deal with ,that the judge and CSE never wants to see the front of me again. I was able to have his car, and house and other property seized and sold to pay for what he owed before becoming current, it doesn't really matter to me that he will never go to jail, because I'm b***h enough to make his life hell outside of jail that he now stays current. I don't care if that makes me vindictive, I struggled for 4 years without state aid, working two full time jobs, paying daycare, health, and all the other bills after my ex stabbed me literally in the back (a three inch blade hurts as bad as a six inch.) sliced my arms , back, butt and girl bits up with a razor, stole $30,000 dollar from my savings accounts, and car. I was stupid, weak and "In LUUUUV" then. I'm not that pathetic little girl anymore, I'm a f**king ass- kicking woman and a mother, and I'll be damned if my son gets the shaft from that prick, just cause I once did. And there isn't a single parent out there who deserves to be treated the way the system often does single parents. Lawyers who don't do their jobs but cash those payment checks until they've bled their "client" dry, then of course withdrawal from the case, FOC who fall to false flattery and greed just because so and so hands them a $1000 here, or a job promo there, judges who rule is dictated by their own religious moral views into the all single moms are wh**es and must fall under a mans heels bull-shit, cops who don't want to get involved because they've had a tough day, and it's the end of their shift, but feel bad, no, they really do just feel so bad the next day coming back out to the same apt and taking pictures of the blood from the person murdered by DV that they were just too tired to give a damn about the night before. Getting the information and self education is the only way to make headway in court case, and the system does a damn good job making that hard to obtain, but once you've got that info, and know what to do with it, the road smooths out a great deal indeed.