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not another repeat Sam H. 17 kids; New York 560 posts
8th Sep '12

so almost two years ago, I had an abortion. Bad situation, bad father, don't need anymore information. It hurt, for a very long time, over a year. Then I met SO, and he changed my life. He is the one, and we made so many plans and dreams for ourselves. We had said we couldn't wait to have kids, and if something happened where we magically ended up pregnant that we would make it work. well 5-6 months later in our love story, we get pregnant. I got scared, I would be due right before I graduate college. We live in separate states. before getting pregnant our game plan was to move to the same state right after memorial day when I was done with school. So I found out I was pregnant two days after our last visit. When I told him, he initially freaked out. Then it started to seem better and do-able. His family was on board (bc my family isn't going to support this) and so are our friends. Well now a week later, he and his mom are kinda leaning towards abortion because he has college loans that he has to start paying now, I have a few thousand in credit card debt, I cant take on anymore hours at my job with full time student teaching, and they just think it's a terrible idea to give up our dreams and goals to raise a baby. He said he will stand by me, but how can you go on seeing your SO's depression not get better, but get worse because he has to stop going to school to continue to work full time to support us. He is so upset because he wanted to go back to school, wanted to get a better job, buy land for us to build a house where we wanted, freedom, etc. I know it's my body and my choice, but both options have terrible cons, as well as some good pros. I need someone who has been there before just for some advice. I just am terrified of going through it again, but I don't want to struggle or not give me baby anything and everything. and please don't say adoption, thanks.

EskimoKiss TTC since Apr 2014; 1 child; Texas 11221 posts
8th Sep '12

Can you mentally/emotionally go thur another abortion? Seems you took your first one pretty hard.

Mommy 2 Sarah!!! Due December 29; Massachusetts 458 posts
8th Sep '12

Wow really... You do know that abortion is not birth control right???? I mean come on give ur child a chance at life. Now if there was something medically wrong with the baby that's different

Sam H. 17 kids; New York 560 posts
8th Sep '12

Never said it was birth control so watch yourself. it's been two years, not two months. it happened out of love and unforeseen things happened and he's not sure we can make it. are you going to help pay for things? I don't think so. This is AS, you're not being appropriate since I asked for advice, not ridicule.

JΔS Georgia 70894 posts
8th Sep '12
Quoting Sam H.:" ."


The post should be removed soon. Good luck with everything. <3

7 blessings so far.... Due February 3; 6 kids; Glen Burnie, Maryland 8799 posts
8th Sep '12

there are ways to make it work.....you cant guarentee that terminating wont make his depression worse or cause to to have it also. Look into all your options and resourses. If going back to school is what he wants to do there are grants for low income men w/''families'' that arent available to single guys. You also may qualify for foodstamps and wic. Lots of people make it work everyday......you know the trauma u suffered after the last termination (and that was w/a unfit partner) Please take some time and really think things through (W/O the bias opinion of his or your family)

E'M Shikari Due March 10 (boy); 1 child; 1 angel baby; Preston, United Kingdom 1747 posts
8th Sep '12
Quoting Mommy 2 Sarah!!!:"


Wow shut the f**k up you a******e.



OP you said it was his mother and him leaning towards it, are you not wanting it yourself? It sounds like this baby was planned, and I know what it's like to plan a baby and then find yourself in a situation where you cannot keep it. It hurts, and will probably be especially painful after you previous experience. Don't let what anyone else wants effect your decision because ultimately it is you who has to deal with it either way. Best of luck. Weigh out the pro's and cons and seek support from those close to you if you need to talk it over.

user banned 17 kids; Boston, MA, United States 9473 posts
9th Sep '12

i dont get the part about giving up dreams and goals to raise a baby...some of it might get put on hold but having a kid isnt the end of life....



idk-how do you think you will handle going through all that again? do you think you will regret it? i dont mean to sound crude but i think your emotions should over ride his at this point. Maybe he is just scared, and that can go away (although sometimes it doesn't-i dont know him) but if you go through with it as you know you cant take it back. both situations have the possibility to cause resent towards the other person, thats what i would be nervous about.



either way its going to be rough for you guys for a while. I would really take some time to think by yourself, so no one is pressuring you. is this something you can come to terms with? do you feel it is the best option for your family? im just nervous because you said the last time really effected you.



Good luck in your choice

supermommy☠ 49 kids; California 6967 posts
9th Sep '12

remember, financial situations change, you can not change having an abortion...
i had an abortion last week, and i will never do it again, no matter what the situation is...

DawsonandGentrysMommy Due October 7 (boy); 1 child; Tulsa, Oklahoma 1 posts
10th Sep '12

Thats very sad. Your going to murder a child because it isnt convinient for you at the moment. If you did have the baby and lets say when he/she was 2years old and you started having finanial problems would you then murder the child? Its no different. That is human life and you decided to have sex. There are far to many women who have difficulty conceiving and then women like you just think "Oh if I get pregnant Ill just kill it, no big deal." God dosnt make mistakes. He is the only giver or taker of life. I would definantly think about things.

Sam H. 17 kids; New York 560 posts
10th Sep '12

you're out of line. this is AS so get it through your thick skull you can't bring a pro life argument here. no one wants to hear your verbal diarrhea.

7 blessings so far.... Due February 3; 6 kids; Glen Burnie, Maryland 8799 posts
10th Sep '12
Quoting Sam H.:" you're out of line. this is AS so get it through your thick skull you can't bring a pro life argument here. no one wants to hear your verbal diarrhea."


who are u talking too??? i dont see any out of line comments.....

Goneforever 2 kids; Las Vegas, Nevada 6418 posts
10th Sep '12

<blockquote><b>Quoting 5 blessings so far....:</b>" who are u talking too??? i dont see any out of line comments....."</blockquote>



Because they've already been hidden

7 blessings so far.... Due February 3; 6 kids; Glen Burnie, Maryland 8799 posts
10th Sep '12
Quoting Watagatapitusberry.:" <blockquote><b>Quoting 5 blessings so far....:</b>" who are u talking too??? i dont see any out of line comments....."</blockquote> Because they've already been hidden"


thanks, i was confused ....

S♡J=Malachi Due January 8 (boy); 3 angel babies; Florida 3278 posts
10th Sep '12

Think about it long & hard mama. it looks like you took the last abortion really hard. make the decision on your own not based on what your significant other wants.