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Time with Dad *Reggie* 1 child; Phoenix, Arizona 15162 posts
10th Sep '12

My divorce was finalized back in February and since then DD has been going to her Dad's every week Sunday and she comes home Tuesday afternoon. Just recently she's been asking to go home while she is with him or if she sees me (ex. her Birthday fell on a Monday I went to see her and she wanted to go home). Last night I guess it was worse than normal and he asked for me to come and pick her up. On our car ride home (DD is 3 BTW) I was asking why she wanted to come home, etc. and she said she doesn't want to be with Dad every week she wants to go home.



Now a little bit more of the story. His family watches DD while I'm at work so she is over there M-F 8:00 AM until 2:30 PM (when my Mom picks her up). The ex now lives at home with his family so when he has Livi she is going back to Granny's house for two full days. I want to think that maybe she is just over there to much and wants to be at home.



I told Ex when we were going through the divorce that it was to much time away from me but he didn't think it would be and now 7 months later it's too much time away. I want to talk to him about maybe only have her overnight every other week but I don't know how to go about it. I don't want to hurt his feeling and be like, "Yeah, your kid doesn't want to stay the night every week" because I know that would hurt me. It's just a touchy subject I suppose. Any suggestions or Mama's that have been through the same thing before?

P3RvYmCp3rv 2 kids; Carlyle, Illinois 11904 posts
10th Sep '12

Why don't you do two overnights very other week and then one day during the week.

*Reggie* 1 child; Phoenix, Arizona 15162 posts
10th Sep '12
Quoting P3RvYmCp3rv:" Why don't you do two overnights very other week and then one day during the week. "


I know that he would be okay with limiting the time (as long as I told him I don't want anymore CS) but I don't know how to go about it without hurting his feeling.

nikkibabii+3 19 kids; Pennsylvania 635 posts
10th Sep '12

In all honesty I think it is just something she is going through and will eventually learn to deal with. DH's daughter has been staying with us every other week since she was 15 months old she has never known any different. When she around 3 & 1/2 she started throwing a fit every time she had to come to our house it was really bad. None of us gave in and eventually we worked through it. It may sound insensitive but honestly don't give in, eventually she will get used to it and it will be smooth sailing.

P3RvYmCp3rv 2 kids; Carlyle, Illinois 11904 posts
10th Sep '12
Quoting *Reggie*:" I know that he would be okay with limiting the time (as long as I told him I don't want anymore CS) but I don't know how to go about it without hurting his feeling."

Just tell him right now it is too much on her. :) Just explain and sit down and figure out a schedule that works for you guys. :)

*Reggie* 1 child; Phoenix, Arizona 15162 posts
10th Sep '12
Quoting nikkibabii+3:" In all honesty I think it is just something she is going through and will eventually learn to deal with. ... [snip!] ... it. It may sound insensitive but honestly don't give in, eventually she will get used to it and it will be smooth sailing. "

The past few months we haven't been giving in just because we don't want her to think it's okay (y'all aren't insensitive at all!). She needs her time with her father and he deserves it. But I think it's just wearing him down now and the fact he still sees her everyday...

nikkibabii+3 19 kids; Pennsylvania 635 posts
10th Sep '12
Quoting *Reggie*:" The past few months we haven't been giving in just because we don't want her to think it's okay (y'all ... [snip!] ... time with her father and he deserves it. But I think it's just wearing him down now and the fact he still sees her everyday..."


Split custody is tough on everyone involved, we have been doing it for years and it still takes a lot out of us. Best of luck to you!

*Reggie* 1 child; Phoenix, Arizona 15162 posts
10th Sep '12
Quoting nikkibabii+3:" Split custody is tough on everyone involved, we have been doing it for years and it still takes a lot out of us. Best of luck to you! "



Thanks Mama! It is tough and I thought we were coping well! His Mom thinks she just got separation anxiety later than some kids :|

nikkibabii+3 19 kids; Pennsylvania 635 posts
10th Sep '12
Quoting *Reggie*:" Thanks Mama! It is tough and I thought we were coping well! His Mom thinks she just got separation anxiety later than some kids :|"


Very well could be! It could also have something to do with her relating to you more because you are both girls? IMO just stick with it and eventually it will pass.