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struggling... kourtney lorraine Due October 24; 17 kids; Missouri 28 posts
11th Sep '12

i'm having such a hard time wrapping my mind around this concept..

i am four weeks along with my second child. the father and i haven't been together very long, if you can even say we are "together" now.. as soon as i told him i was pregnant, he brought up the idea of an abortion. honestly, with my first son, my BD mentioned the same thing and i told him i would never be able to do that.. it never seemed like an option.

well, this time, i've been contemplating it. i am broke, lets be honest here, and so stressed out from just raising one child on my own. i barely make ends meet now & i feel like my son would suffer if i had another child right now! i've made an appointment with a clinic a few hours away for next week, but every minute closer gives me more and more doubt.
i'm also struggling with the fact that i have endometriosis & my doctor told me last week that it is a miracle i could conceive this child with so much damage already done to my system..
i know this is what he wants to do, but is it what i want to do?! any advice or help would be SOOO appreciated. i've tried talking to friends about this, but it's hard giving advice when you've never been in a similar position before.. thanks in advance.

queso +2 (40!!!) 2 kids; Montana 9460 posts
11th Sep '12

Edited to get rid of the quote incase you want to delete later.



if you aren't 100% sure... don't. I have no advice but if you aren't positive about doing it, you'll probably regret it.

Party of FIVE! 3 kids; Romania 37562 posts
11th Sep '12

If you don't want to do it, then don't do it. Even if you are still unsure, I wouldn't go through with it.

diiamondchula 18 kids; Toms River, New Jersey 754 posts
11th Sep '12

It is your decision, but if the doctor told you its a miracle then there is a meaning your pregnant, there is a purpose. If your broke its understandable, but thats what child support is for as well as friends and family support. If you honestly dont want to keep the baby get an abortion or adoption, it is completely your choice, however the baby is a miracle !!

taking a look at life Palm beach gardens, FL, United States 49004 posts
11th Sep '12

We were and are in the same boat, i told SO our options and he was against ours. It need to be something i wanted and he wanted. We decided to keep it and we make it work my son and daughter do not suffer but i also have a lot of help from my family.

Amy Packer 1 child; Battle Creek, Michigan 533 posts
11th Sep '12

If your unsure at all don't do it...have you considered adoption? I was told I would never get pregnant because of pcos and then I did with no job, living with my mom and sisters in a house too small for the people already here but we are finding a way to make it work...we are barely making it but we are doing the best we can.

Stefanie Pastrano Due January 26; 1 child; Texas 54 posts
11th Sep '12

Some people are ok with it.... some people it naturally is easy for them to do it but it doesn't sound like it is for you and it's certainly not for me. Adoption is a good alternative. If anything it gives you 9 months to prepare and change your life around so you can keep it. Just think of what is best for the baby. I know a girl who got one and she regrets it every day of her life. I wouldn't want to live like that. I understand where you are coming from though. I used to be in that same boat wondering if i could have another child with how broke I was and not being maried and eveyrthing else. The difference is the dad. He wants a child so bad and we have made it work and that was 7 months ago now everything is perfect. Good luck to you girl

supermommy☠ 49 kids; California 6967 posts
11th Sep '12

if you have any doubts, DONT DO IT!!!!
im speaking from personal experience,
ive talked to some women who say they were 100% sure they wanted to and they say they dont regret it,
but reading this post reminded me of my situation, and its the biggest mistake i ever made :(
i would give anything to go back...
id just hate for you to go through the same thing,
financial situations change....but you cant change having an abortion!

thisunrest India 10364 posts
11th Sep '12

<blockquote><b>Quoting klorraine89:</b>" i'm having such a hard time wrapping my mind around this concept.. i am four weeks along with my second ... [snip!] ... to friends about this, but it's hard giving advice when you've never been in a similar position before.. thanks in advance."</blockquote>




Before I had mine,I basically sat down and said,"Okay,I'm keeping it." Then I paid close attention to how I felt,which was horrible.Deflated,trapped,scared,not knowing how I'd provide,angry...you get the idea.
Combined with what I logically understood,that pretty much decided it for me.



I hope this helps.It's a hard choice to make,even when it's the best choice .

~Julie Blue Eyes~ 1 child; Nunya, CA, United States 5999 posts
status 11th Sep '12

<blockquote><b>Quoting ☾BizzyBeeღ:</b>" Do what YOU feel comfortable with. If you want the child, keep it. If you don't, or can't handle it and ... [snip!] ... that he wants nothing to do with this child, then I say do what you want and screw his opinion. (If that makes sense.)"</blockquote>




Whhaaaaat?



Are you actually saying that because he wants her to have an abortion, that she shouldn't have intentions of getting child support from him?



Tell me you are joking.

~Julie Blue Eyes~ 1 child; Nunya, CA, United States 5999 posts
status 11th Sep '12

OP, you have doubts and it is obvious. You have some time, so take it to think long and hard. It's an irreversible decision.



{{{Hugs}}}



Sorry, mama.