Quoting Yurvon [♥]:" Ok.. what about HER well being AFTER the baby is born? How about her mental stabliaty[sp]? Yeah its ... [snip!] ... is taken care of by a loving family. What is it going to do with her for 9 months while she "holds" the baby for the couple? "
It's not an easy thing. I'm not saying it will be. Every decision will be hard.
You can do a an open adoption and know the people and the chid, or a closed where you won't. It her decision. I am just letting her know she doesn't have to choose abortion. There are other choices. I have hopes that she will be able to keep her baby. But like I said there are other options. Difficult no matter what.
Quoting Asher's mommy [Expecting :" I personally know so many people who have given their babies up for adoption and lead happy, blessed, ... [snip!] ... only to go over their options and encourage them one way or the other. Especially when they say "I think adoption is better.""
Im not trying to talk her out of it. Yes there are many people in the world that want to adopt. But does that mean she has to keep it? Maybe she is trying to talk out loud about things. Yes I know people who have done adoption that are happy with it and others that regret the choice.
Quoting Kirstin Lemons:" It's not an easy thing. I'm not saying it will be. Every decision will be hard. You can do a an open ... [snip!] ... I have hopes that she will be able to keep her baby. But like I said there are other options. Difficult no matter what. "
I am well aware of the types of adoption. I hope she can too, BUT she has things to think about.
Quoting Yurvon [♥]:" I am well aware of the types of adoption. I hope she can too, BUT she has things to think about. "
She is asking for help and opinions. If she lived near me I would offer to be there for her. You shouldn't get angry/upset becuz adoption is put onto the table, she needs to know her other options.
Quoting Kirstin Lemons:" She is asking for help and opinions. If she lived near me I would offer to be there for her. You shouldn't get angry/upset becuz adoption is put onto the table, she needs to know her other options. "
Im not upset. Again you are a noob that doesnt know my story. And another thing, if you bring up just adoption in this forum that we are in, you can be modded because it is pro choice talk.
Quoting Yurvon [♥]:" Im not upset. Again you are a noob that doesnt know my story. And another thing, if you bring up just adoption in this forum that we are in, you can be modded because it is pro choice talk. "
Yes I am a "noob". I didn't claim to know your story at all.
She said adoption seemed better also so that is the topic I stuck to FOR her.
OP: I wish you the best of luck. you have some tough choices to make. i suggest you talk to a professional, they can help you with finding assitance, possible treatment for addiction and get you on the road to being a good mother. it will be difficult but it will be worth it.
Honestly I'd start with asking myself a few questions. 1. Do I want the baby. if yes then how am I going to get in a better situation. If no then what do I want to do ... adopt /abort and once I answered that
I'd take it a day at a time . You can be a great mom , your not defined by being a prostitute or by having HIV . There are ways to manage the HIV and you can get out of that business .
If you need an ear drop me a message
my advice: yes u can be a good parent even if u have bad circumstances. good luck on whatever decision u make.
I just want the baby happy. I feel sorry for it. I feel sad. I'm just not sure like how does single parenting even work?
Quoting loststars12:" I just want the baby happy. I feel sorry for it. I feel sad. I'm just not sure like how does single parenting even work?"
What do you mean how does single parenting work? Im a single parent. I have done all 3 options. [In this order] Gave birth to my 5 year old son [that I kept and raising single], had an abortion when he was 2, then when he was 4 and 7 months old gave his now 10 month half brother up for adoption [open adoption]. The abortion was hard. But I have come to terms with it, and know that it was the right thing to do. Adoption is wayyy harder to deal with than abortion. Adoption is a life long process.
As for single parenting, you learn as you go. You learn how to juggle a clean house, getting up early in the morning and getting baby ready and then going to work and then coming home at the end of the day to a crying baby and being so tired you want to fall asleep but you cant.
:) You can message me if you would like.
Personally don't believe in abortion but I do believe that it's not at all impossible for you to turn your whole life around for this baby, whether you decide to raise it or not. I know 2 women that were in your same predicament (one is actually a relative) she was addicted to drugs, and HIV positive and had two babies that are now live, grown, and healthy, HIV free adults who are having their own families. She's doing well for herself as well bc after she'd had her last child she decided to make a change for the better. As many ppl have said, and open adoption would be a great idea for you to consider if you don't feel that you can financially support the child bc you'll still be able to show him/her that you were there and did care and love them enough to keep them you just didn't have the means. Make the choice on what's best for you and the child. I hope this helps, you be blessed and I will keep you in my prayers, really (i know ppl say that just to be nice but i genuinely mean it) . Please let us know what you decide to do.
Quoting Kirstin Lemons:" Yes I am a "noob". I didn't claim to know your story at all. She said adoption seemed better also so that is the topic I stuck to FOR her. "
I know that's right!
And everyone doesn't react the same to every process either. Some ppl regret keeping, some ppl regret abortion, and some ppl regret adoption whether it be open or closed. But if you are leaning more towards adoption, there's a reason, I can honestly say that when i found out I was pregnant with my first I wasn't married and considering open adoption, while it would've been hard to hand her over I know for ME it would've been harder living the rest of my life knowing I had a child that I gave up on before I'd even given me or her a chance to be successful. Ppl were telling me to get an abortion but I knew that FOR Me that wasn't an option bc, I never even considered it from the beginning. I would hope that you keep the baby and get yourself back on track but there's nothing wrong with adoption if you feel like you can't give the baby all that it will need at this point in your life. You choose the option that YOU feel is right for YOU! We're just giving our opinions bc you asked but ultimately the decision is yours and yours alone, you'll be the one that has to live your life after the choice is made. I personally would love to help you but there's not much I can do accept listen, pray, and give advice. Every one has a past, and whether you decide to keep the child, abort the child, or give the child up you need to get your life in order as soon as you can for you.