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One_Hott_Momma 2 kids; Michigan 779 posts
12th Sep '12

I would ask him what made him ask about his dad...since he hasn't been part of his life ever you can just say that mommy is mom and dad until he is older and can understand more.

let it be California 41018 posts
12th Sep '12

<blockquote><b>Quoting Not tellin:</b>" WTF!?!?!? Why on earth should she say something so horrible to a child!?!?!?! "</blockquote>




I don't see how this is horrible. :?

ma ♥ 1 child; California 63053 posts
12th Sep '12
Quoting One_Hott_Momma:" I would ask him what made him ask about his dad...since he hasn't been part of his life ever you can just say that mommy is mom and dad until he is older and can understand more."


I'm guessing it's because his friends at school might talk about their dads.. I know this one boy at his school, his dad always drops him off & picks him up.

Not tellin 3 kids; Montana 55983 posts
12th Sep '12
Quoting Mum to a Monster:" That isn't horrible. That is nice and happy and light-hearted compared to the reality. "


Yes it is. He is 3. That is way too much for him to hear and what he will get out of it is that his daddy didn't want him.

Not tellin 3 kids; Montana 55983 posts
12th Sep '12
Quoting ma ♥:" Stopping what visitations? He doesn't, & never has, had any visitation or any rights at all TBH... ... [snip!] ... of times & the last time was may 2011. I haven't even talked to him since then. He's not interested in being a father.."


I was using that as an example. Basically, don't let it be at your hands that daddy doesn't come around. As your son gets older, he will figure it out.



Explain to your son that some families are just one mommy or just one daddy, some families have both mommy and daddy. If you feel like going further you could go on to the same sex families. That is your descretion. Just assure him that there are different types of families and he is special because he has just mommy. Save the big convo for later.

ma ♥ 1 child; California 63053 posts
12th Sep '12
Quoting Not tellin:" I was using that as an example. Basically, don't let it be at your hands that daddy doesn't come around. ... [snip!] ... him that there are different types of families and he is special because he has just mommy. Save the big convo for later."


That is perfect. I don't know why that never crossed my mind. I'm sure he would understand that.. I mean, as much as a 3yr old would understand anyway. Thank you.

Mum to a Monster TTC since Jan 2014; 1 child; 5 angel babies; Colorado 11565 posts
12th Sep '12
Quoting Not tellin:" Yes it is. He is 3. That is way too much for him to hear and what he will get out of it is that his daddy didn't want him. "


No. If I felt like sharing the reality of the situation (despite the fact that yeah my son's father is an Immature tool who still at 27 years old thinks he will be a famous Metal Bassist or Drummer) there is A LOT more to it than that and my answer is a good and fitting one.

Not tellin 3 kids; Montana 55983 posts
12th Sep '12
Quoting ma ♥:" That is perfect. I don't know why that never crossed my mind. I'm sure he would understand that.. I mean, as much as a 3yr old would understand anyway. Thank you."


You are welcome. Good Luck!

Not tellin 3 kids; Montana 55983 posts
12th Sep '12
Quoting Mum to a Monster:" No. If I felt like sharing the reality of the situation (despite the fact that yeah my son's father ... [snip!] ... he will be a famous Metal Bassist or Drummer) there is A LOT more to it than that and my answer is a good and fitting one."


and that is your opinion and you are entitled to it.



This child is 3. Just because his mom and him had their issues (i don't care who did what or when yadda yadda yadda),all he needs to know at this age is that their are different kinds of families. When he gets older (say 16 or so) with the capability of understanding the gravity of the situation, MAYBE your answer would work. For now, he doesn't need to think that his daddy didn't want him so he left. That is exactly what he will get out of your loaded statement.

Not tellin 3 kids; Montana 55983 posts
12th Sep '12
Quoting Mum to a Monster:" No. If I felt like sharing the reality of the situation (despite the fact that yeah my son's father ... [snip!] ... he will be a famous Metal Bassist or Drummer) there is A LOT more to it than that and my answer is a good and fitting one."


AND............. It is not the mothers place to place the opinion of the father in the childs mind (visa versa, there are dead beat moms too). That is for the child to decide when they are ready.

Mum to a Monster TTC since Jan 2014; 1 child; 5 angel babies; Colorado 11565 posts
12th Sep '12
Quoting Not tellin:" AND............. It is not the mothers place to place the opinion of the father in the childs mind (visa versa, there are dead beat moms too). That is for the child to decide when they are ready. "


Well in mine, Dad has never been there. Not one day of his life. Even then I Still have never said a cross-word about him.

Michael Myers 2 kids; Slaughter, Louisiana 3408 posts
12th Sep '12
Quoting Not tellin:" I was using that as an example. Basically, don't let it be at your hands that daddy doesn't come around. ... [snip!] ... him that there are different types of families and he is special because he has just mommy. Save the big convo for later."


I think This is a good way too. Good luck on whatever you decide:)