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WWYD? Deanasoar Due March 7; 17 kids; New Mexico 192 posts
13th Sep '12

I'm having the hardest time deciding what to do about BD & letting him see DD. Here's the backstory & it may be long...



BD & I broke up when DD was about 3 months old. After that, he would ask to see her maybe twice a month. He would also come over to my house & stay the night so that he could spend time with the baby. When DD was about 7 months old, I found out that BD had another girl pregnant that was about to give birth. So, this means he got her pregnant when I was around 9 months pregnant & we were very much together... even living together. This crushed me of course, but I never let it get in the way of him seeing DD. After I found out, he started asking for her less & less. He started being with the other girl & he moved in with her. After they started living together, he stopped calling to see DD or even txting to ask about her. I would sometimes txt him pics of her & ask him if he wanted to see her but there was always an excuse as to why he couldn't. Well, this went on for months & months & there were a few times when he would txt me to see her but he would always tell me that him & his gf broke up. So basically, the 2 times that he saw her in that time was because he broke up with his gf. I've never spoken with her, but I always thought that she didn't want him around DD because she knew he would have to talk to me. There were times when he would have his other children over (2 from different mothers... I know, I picked a winner :roll: ) and he never called to have DD over . so it was all of his kids except DD. Anyways, the gf has since keyed my car because she thought BD was at my house ( which was absolutely crazy cuz I hadn't talked to him in weeks at the time) And my question is whether I should continue to let him see her since he has recently been asking for her. Oh, & the last time I took her over to his moms to see him, last saturday, I told him he could have her as long as his gf wasn't there because I don't trust her with DD & he said that he promised he wouldn't do that. He was supposed to keep her overnight, so I made plans to go out. One hour later he txted me saying to pick her up because his gf was going over. I picked her up & told him if he was going to chose his gf over his daughter that he hasn't seen in months then I wouldn't be letting him see her anymore. I dont wanna be the reason DD doesn't know her dad, but idk what else to do.



If you read that, thank u so much because I know it got long....

Em ♥ 3 kids; Indiana 943 posts
13th Sep '12

i wouldn't let her see him. if he isn't consistent about seeing her then it will be just as bad when she gets older and wonders why daddy didn't come get her or why he only sees her once a month.

Deanasoar Due March 7; 17 kids; New Mexico 192 posts
13th Sep '12

yea, I just feel so bad not letting her know her dad. I know it's not me, it's him but it still sux. & I hate it when he has his other kids with him & not DD because I feel like she is missing out on knowing her family. But you're right, no dad is better then a part-time dad

Lois. 1 child; Pennsylvania 2489 posts
13th Sep '12

I think that if you continued to let him see her, in the long run it would make her feel very unimportant to him. Knowing that your dad doesn't give a shit about you would be worse than just not knowing him at all.



And I hope you pressed charges on that crazy b***h.

Deanasoar Due March 7; 17 kids; New Mexico 192 posts
13th Sep '12

I know what I SHOULD do, but I know it's gonna kill me to tell him no. I just feel like if he wants to see her, I should let him. But I think with time it's gonna be easier & easier.



& I couldn't press charges on her because she did it in the middle of the night so nobody saw her do it. The cops told me that someone would have had to see her do it to be able to press charges. If I wasn't pregnant right now, I woulda kicked the b***hes ass.

ItsEasyIfYouTry 1 child; Florida 830 posts
13th Sep '12

It is not your fault if bd isn't going to try more to be involved in your daughter's life. I know from my own experience it's so easy to believe that because this is your child and since you are the guardian, her keeper and protector, but it all falls on him if he isn't going to be adult enough to pick his daughter over his gf. It sounds to me like you've done more than enough to try and involve him, which is a lot more than I've done.

Deanasoar Due March 7; 17 kids; New Mexico 192 posts
13th Sep '12

yea, I have done waay more then I probably should have. I just never wanted to give him a chance to say he didn't know DD because of me, ya know? But after a year of all of his BS, I think I'm realizing that he's not gonna step & be a dad. He's trying to say I won't let him see DD because I don't want him to move on & start a new life... But I don't want his gf around my daughter because she is an immature 17 year old that keyed my car for no reason. He was always more then welcome to see her at his mom's house, away from his gf but he chose to use that as an excuse to not see her..



Anyways, thanx for the advice mamas & i'll keep this in mind the next time he txts me for her!