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An absolute mess EmmaRitchie :) Australia 106 posts
14th Sep '12

I am an absolute mess. Ever since I told the father of the baby (my best friend) that I was definatly keeping it.. I haven't heard from him since. This was 3 days ago, his phones off and I he's not replying to anything I text.
My mum is supporting me even though she isn't thrilled.
I feel depressed, alone and so far from home.
I don't think I can do this! Maybe I'm not mother material. I don't even feel happy about this myself. I'm so scared, I feel depressed. Why aren't I happy about this baby when I was the one who made the decision to keep it?
All I do is cry cry cry all the time. I feel my world is falling apart from under me :(
I don't know what to do anymore. I feel like I'm ruining the lives of the people around me :(



I already feel like the worlds worst mum and when people say congrats I'm thinking yeah i wish it were you instead of me. Some days I just down right hate myself :(

Rebecca_She TTC since Oct 2010; Bellevue, Washington 274 posts
14th Sep '12

I don't know what's wrong with these parents. They were supposed to help us out and be happy for us. You shouldn't care about how they think about you. It doesn't matter, it's their loss and should be your gain (a child is a big gain). You should not even try to call your father again.



One day he'll came and be happy about your child. Trust me!:oops:

Riahbug's Mommy California 198 posts
14th Sep '12

Nah you're not a bad mom, it's understandable. But you decided to keep the baby, that enough should tell you you care about it enough. Sorry your SO is being a douche, nothing like a coward shutting off his phone. I think it's just a rough patch and hopefully soon things will look up for you and your baby, which I'm sure they will. You can do this! It might seem kind of crappy, but just try to stay positive. Perhaps he just needs some time to get over himself? I don't know if there's more going on between you two, so forgive me if I don't know :P but yeah it's a tough situation, but I believe you are strong enough to get through this and I'm sure in a couple months time you feel a difference with your baby. Keep your head up and don't let this get you down!



Just wanted to add my mom was a bit shocked at first too but once she saw her grandchild on the US, she came around. Hopefully your mom does too and will support you fully without being disappointed or whatever. Especially your SO, not cool of him to just go MIA like that. *hugs*

Shoogle Chic Due June 11; 1 child; Praia Da Vitoria, Portugal 47 posts
14th Sep '12
Quoting Rebecca_She:" I don't know what's wrong with these parents. They were supposed to help us out and be happy for us. ... [snip!] ... gain). You should not even try to call your father again. One day he'll came and be happy about your child. Trust me!:oops:"

Agreed. If your parents can't be pillars of support, then their opinions no longer matter. When the baby comes home, I think your father's feelings might change. There's something magical about seeing a baby that changes people's hearts. They have a lot of expectations, dreams and hopes, they just worry that a child will keep you from obtaining them. This is hardly ever true.



They usually say a person worrying about a being a good mom is on the first steps at becoming the best mom!

EmmaRitchie :) Australia 106 posts
14th Sep '12

I wish it were that easy to believe all of what you lovely people are saying.
I want to, trust me. But it's so hard to see the light at the end of the tunnel when you feel like you have no one.
It's a hard and confusing time :(
I'm beginning to second guess myself on decisions I've made :'(

Shoogle Chic Due June 11; 1 child; Praia Da Vitoria, Portugal 47 posts
14th Sep '12
Quoting Scared & Excited:" I wish it were that easy to believe all of what you lovely people are saying. I want to, trust me. But ... [snip!] ... feel like you have no one. It's a hard and confusing time :( I'm beginning to second guess myself on decisions I've made :'("


Don't. Life is full of regrets. This child should never be one. If you view the child as a burden, then it will be so. Have you found any support groups through your OB/GYN clinic? I feel more at ease when I talk with my doc, she's pretty chill and easily gets rid of my anxieties.

EmmaRitchie :) Australia 106 posts
14th Sep '12

<blockquote><b>Quoting Cristina Chambers Jimenez:</b>" Don't. Life is full of regrets. This child should never be one. If you view the child as a burden, then ... [snip!] ... your OB/GYN clinic? I feel more at ease when I talk with my doc, she's pretty chill and easily gets rid of my anxieties. "</blockquote>




Ive only had one drs visit cause I live/work in the middle of nowhere and since my car accident I have no transport while I'm away from family and friends.
I'm sort of stuck. Thus because I have no one I am alone :'(
I don't see this child as burden.. But I wish I could feel something more than just depressingness.

thisunrest India 10364 posts
14th Sep '12

<blockquote><b>Quoting Scared & Excited:</b>" I am an absolute mess. Ever since I told the father of the baby (my best friend) that I was definatly ... [snip!] ... mum and when people say congrats I'm thinking yeah i wish it were you instead of me. Some days I just down right hate myself :("</blockquote>




You aren't ruining their lives, but a baby affects a lot more people than the mom. Your family will adjust and your baby will bring them joy,not just stress.



You aren't "happy" because this wasn't planned.And you aren't required to be. And technically you aren't a mom yet, so there's no way you can be a bad one,lol!



This will pass. It sucks that you feel like crap, but you won't feel this way forever. You sound like a mature young woman who will make the best of the best, out of a tough situation. Hang in there(hugs)

Kasey Bomgardner Due April 16; Stanwood, Washington 2 posts
15th Sep '12

I'm 19 and I was scared and all of that too. Different situation but just wait until you hear the baby's heart beat, everything changes. Think about your life and your future, don't base your happiness on the others.