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advice needed !! emma:) 1 child; Glasgow, United Kingdom 54 posts
14th Sep '12

ok so im 27 weeks preggers with the possiblity of two fathers (dont judge me please)



Possibility 1: my ex boyfriend: we were together for 4 years on and off. He had cheated on me so many times Ive lost count, including trying to get with a close friend !



Possibility 2: was a one night stand when I finally dumped my ex and got drunk, a friend of friends, really nice guy



Anyway, since finding out both have been told of the situation and know about each other and the circumstances. It is more than likely the ONS but because its so close were not sure. My ex has been a complete ass and says he doesnt want to know which is fine by me. However possibility 2 want to be involved during the pregnancy and I really dont know what to do as there is the chance baby might not be his, he has even suggested getting together properly ( I wouldnt mind I do really care for him)



Anyone got some advice ? TIA

Ecstasy 18 kids; Cuba 7748 posts
14th Sep '12

Keep your options open & get a DNA test as soon as the baby is born.

Hodor Due October 30 (boy); 2 kids; 4 angel babies; Saint-janvier, QC, Canada 18195 posts
14th Sep '12

Does the ONS wants to get together properly only if the baby is his?



If he doesn't care if the baby is hisor not...I'b probably gite it a try. I also suggest a DNA test once the baby is born.



It sounds like your ex doesn't want to step up if the baby is his. If he's the father, with the DNA test results, you can file for child support.

*mommy to 3* Due March 7 (girl); 2 kids; Virginia 1167 posts
14th Sep '12

Thats a yucky situation. But good for you for being honest with both of them... Did you have sex with them so close together that you cant tell from the the date of conception from the doctor? (Not judging at all) If there's going to be no way to really rule out one or the other before birth and the ONS wants to be involved with the pregnancy. I would let him. He knows thats there's a possibility so i think as a grown man he can make that decision for himself. Especially since you said he's a good guy. It would be hard if he got attached and the baby wasnt his, but also he may regret not being involved in the joys of pregnancy if he is the biological father. As far as getting together I would take it slow and let him have the opportunity to date you and develop a relationship. You dont want to rush and you want to make sure he wants to be with you other then for the baby.

emma:) 1 child; Glasgow, United Kingdom 54 posts
14th Sep '12
Quoting *Gaven & Ashton's Mommy*:" Thats a yucky situation. But good for you for being honest with both of them... Did you have sex with ... [snip!] ... and develop a relationship. You dont want to rush and you want to make sure he wants to be with you other then for the baby."

will be doing a DNA test as soon as babies here. Its more than likely the ONS with dates ect I was on the pill so kinda hard to gauge it and my due dates changed twice making ONS more than likely the dad ! ONS has said he wants to be with me regardless of who is the father but I dont want to hurt him or myself :(

Hodor Due October 30 (boy); 2 kids; 4 angel babies; Saint-janvier, QC, Canada 18195 posts
14th Sep '12
Quoting *Gaven & Ashton's Mommy*:" Thats a yucky situation. But good for you for being honest with both of them... Did you have sex with ... [snip!] ... and develop a relationship. You dont want to rush and you want to make sure he wants to be with you other then for the baby."


" It would be hard if he got attached and the baby wasnt his "



Maybe,maybe not. Depends of the guy, honestly. I got together with SO when I was 8 weeks pregnant with my Ex's baby. My situation is a bit different since SO and I had been close friends for three years prior to me being dumped when pregnant. SO was really attached to the baby and fairly well knew it wasn't his. When I lost my son at 14 weeks, he was devestated. He was already seeing himself raise that little baby with me( even though my ex was involved in the pregnancy and wanted to be involved too after the baby was born.).



In OP's case, the ex doesn't want to be involved and doesn't seem to care...so if ONS wants to be there for the good reasons...it shouldn't matter if the baby is his or not biologically.



That is, of course, just my opinion based on my personal experiences.

user banned 3 kids; Ontario 10942 posts
14th Sep '12

My friend went through this 7 yrs ago...



She failed to tell her ex of the possibility it was someone elses (she had hope of getting back with him) she was 100% sure the baby was his tho. And she told the second guy it may be his.



She did a DNA test and was sad it was the other guys and not her ex's baby. So when he got out of jail and went to see her she had to tell him the little girl wasnt his,



But on a good note 7 yrs later her and the bd are still together lol It took like 5 yrs to actually be together.



But being honest is the first step...we all tried to tell my friend to be honest, but she was scared she would loose him, which she did.



Even tho the dad didnt know if he was the father, he was there for all her app, the birth and he bought stuff and took care of her for the first 3-4 months and even tho they were not together at the time, he said if DNA came back he was not the dad, he was not going to walk away from them...cause the other guy was back in jail.



She is lucky it was his and not the loser she was still in love with till like 6 months ago....

KrisTeeAndPea 1 child; Pennsylvania 463 posts
14th Sep '12

Honestly OP i really hope its #2 that sounds like it could have a positive outcome and if #1 isnt interested in any of it i say forget him and give the person who wants to be with you a chance regardless of whether or not he is the father. Good luck

Obrielle Monroe' Due June 10; Japan 1 posts
14th Sep '12

i think u should let him b there if he wants to.you already told him the situation n he fine wit it.



Quoting emma:):" ok so im 27 weeks preggers with the possiblity of two fathers (dont judge me please) Possibility 1: ... [snip!] ... his, he has even suggested getting together properly ( I wouldnt mind I do really care for him) Anyone got some advice ? TIA "