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curious how would you? DifferentDay Due June 2; 34 kids; Tennessee 3473 posts
15th Sep '12

My daughter's 2nd bday is in Jan. and the exact same day would've been when the twins were supposed to be born but we lost them. My question is would you focus on your living child's big day only or have something to acknowledge the angel babies? And if you did that, any ideas on how to do it discreetly?

Kelly&Coralie 1 child; Rochester, NY, United States 56008 posts
15th Sep '12

I would only focus on the living child



You don't want her to associate her birthday with grieving. You didn't lose the twins on that day. It was just thier estimated DD.

Snow 1 child; Storybrooke, ME, United States 34017 posts
15th Sep '12
Quoting Kelly&Coralie:" I would only focus on the living child You don't want her to associate her birthday with grieving. You didn't lose the twins on that day. It was just thier estimated DD."


:!::!:

Kiss Kiss Bang Bang 2 kids; Toronto, Ontario 1984 posts
15th Sep '12
Quoting Kelly&Coralie:" I would only focus on the living child You don't want her to associate her birthday with grieving. You didn't lose the twins on that day. It was just thier estimated DD."


exactly.

LevinOnJetPlaneDntKnoWenI Pennsylvania 1590 posts
15th Sep '12

I'd focus one the child you have. I know my SIL and BIL used to do a little something for their one twin one their b-day and christmas but he passed around 5 months old and his twin is still here. They stopped getting him things around their 3rd birthday. Like some said it was their EDD chances are they wouldnt have been born that day.

DifferentDay Due June 2; 34 kids; Tennessee 3473 posts
15th Sep '12

is that what everyone is basing this question on mostly, not fully, but mostly? That it was an EDD? Bc that's not really the case. We had the date picked out, cleared with dr.s schedule and all. Does that change anything? Prolly not but then I wonder how many of you who answered have lost a child then? Not being confrontational just asking if these things matter at all or not at all.

Elizabeth 0315 Due February 24; 35 kids; Prince Edward Island 1628 posts
15th Sep '12

my son was born on the date I lost my twins. I added another candle on his cake for our angels . most people do one for good luck anyway so it fit in nicely .

Kelly&Coralie 1 child; Rochester, NY, United States 56008 posts
15th Sep '12
Quoting DifferentDay:" is that what everyone is basing this question on mostly, not fully, but mostly? That it was an EDD? Bc ... [snip!] ... of you who answered have lost a child then? Not being confrontational just asking if these things matter at all or not at all."


I say FULL focus on the child you have. And in the end, it IS an EDD. Anything could have happened to have the twins come earlier or later. I wouldn't acknowledge the day at all. And I wouldn't tiw it in with a birthday party




If you do anything, I would do it privately, when the child isn't around, not during the party.

AmberE 1 child; Florida 71 posts
16th Sep '12

my son was born May 14, 2012 and i lost my first one on may 15, 2011. i figure i will only celebrate my son's birthday because it is a joyous occasion where the other one is not. and it is only fair to my son to not dwell on the loss of his brother or sister.