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How do I help her? ♥Sami [better off] Due February 22; 1 child; 1 angel baby; La Vergne, TN, United States 3104 posts
15th Sep '12

Laura's Dad has always spent lots of time with her and been active in her life. Three weeks ago he left us to go live with his new gf and her daughter and now only comes to the house when he needs something, holds her for 2 minutes and hands her back. He only calls to ask if he got mail, doesn't ask how she's doing or anything else.



This is killing Laura. If I try to walk out of the room she gives this heartbreaking cry. She isn't sleeping well, she goes to bed WAY too late and it's pretty damn hard to get her down at all. She has meltdowns all day and just hasn't been herself. I have NO idea what to do for her. None at all. I've been patient and giving lots of cuddles, love, and attention but I'm stressed and trying not to fall apart too so I am kind of hitting the end of my rope. Any advice on how to make this easier on either Laura or myself, or both, I would totally appreciate it.



On a different note, I took this picture last night and it makes me laugh every time I see it =]
242840_10151158200410900_1220558357_o.jp

Maria93 18 kids; South Carolina 1198 posts
15th Sep '12

That sucks. Sorry that your going through this. Are you married to him?

♥Sami [better off] Due February 22; 1 child; 1 angel baby; La Vergne, TN, United States 3104 posts
15th Sep '12
Quoting Maria93:" That sucks. Sorry that your going through this. Are you married to him?"


Yes, for almost 2 years.

Maria93 18 kids; South Carolina 1198 posts
15th Sep '12
Quoting ♥Sami [better off]:" Yes, for almost 2 years."


I was reading through your post. I see that he is military. Does he know that he can get in trouble for this. As long as your married he is required to take care of you both financially.



Unfortunately your daughter is suffering for his stupidness. All I can say is continue to be a good and strong momma for your daughter. Maybe when someone knocks some sense into his ass he will remember he has a child that he needs to care for not just financially.

user banned 2 kids; Hamilton, Ontario 19220 posts
15th Sep '12

Im so sorry mama.



She is most likely feeling your stress. You got to get both of you in a happier place. Can you go to your parents or a friends ? Something to change the scenery or have people around to keep you all busy?

♥Sami [better off] Due February 22; 1 child; 1 angel baby; La Vergne, TN, United States 3104 posts
15th Sep '12
Quoting Maria93:" I was reading through your post. I see that he is military. Does he know that he can get in trouble ... [snip!] ... when someone knocks some sense into his ass he will remember he has a child that he needs to care for not just financially."


He does but I told him I'm not going to screw over his military career. In all honesty it's only because of Laura. With no job he won't be helping provide for her. It seems like he thinks all her owes her is financial support though. We've fought several times that he seems like he cares nothing about her and he STILL doesn't ask how she is or anything. It breaks my heart for Laura that he turned out to be "that" Dad.

♥Sami [better off] Due February 22; 1 child; 1 angel baby; La Vergne, TN, United States 3104 posts
15th Sep '12
Quoting Shannonsfirst:" Im so sorry mama. She is most likely feeling your stress. You got to get both of you in a happier place. ... [snip!] ... place. Can you go to your parents or a friends ? Something to change the scenery or have people around to keep you all busy?"


We've spent a lot of time with friends lately but all of my family is in the south and I'm stuck in Hawaii until the army moves me. He STILL hasn't started the paperwork for them to move me, for divorce, separation nothing. He's keeping our car from me so I can't go do it myself. I'm getting a tad stuck =/ My friend said she would take me Monday to get everything started though.

Maria93 18 kids; South Carolina 1198 posts
15th Sep '12
Quoting ♥Sami [better off]:" We've spent a lot of time with friends lately but all of my family is in the south and I'm stuck in ... [snip!] ... I can't go do it myself. I'm getting a tad stuck =/ My friend said she would take me Monday to get everything started though."

Have you tried catching a HOP back to the states from Hickam?

♥Sami [better off] Due February 22; 1 child; 1 angel baby; La Vergne, TN, United States 3104 posts
15th Sep '12
Quoting Maria93:" Have you tried catching a HOP back to the states from Hickam?"


Nah. I'm not leaving until my stuff gets moved. Frankly I don't want him sleeping with his new gf in MY new bed that will be sent to my parent's house or messing with/ruining anything of mine and Laura's. Plus I have to find new homes for my cats and possibly my dogs =/

ReesieLove... 2 kids; Grand Prairie, Texas 2005 posts
16th Sep '12
Quoting ♥Sami [better off]:" We've spent a lot of time with friends lately but all of my family is in the south and I'm stuck in ... [snip!] ... I can't go do it myself. I'm getting a tad stuck =/ My friend said she would take me Monday to get everything started though."


you know that you can get separated and NOT hurt his career right? my mother and father both were military (army) and had separations/divorces while in and im going through one with my husband (navy) right now. i just actually left hawaii 6 months ago. you can start the process without him. he DOES have to do some paper work but you dont have to wait for him to put the ball in motion and you dont have to tell them about his gf either. i would just go to navy legal and get some advice. its free :)



and im sorry about your little girl, i wish i had some advice on that, my oldest asks for her dad all the time :(