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Baby Daddy *~*Devin's Mama*~* 1 child; Spartanburg, South Carolina 416 posts
16th Sep '12

So, I'm ready to have some input from some mothers. Please comment below with your response.



I was in an abusive relationship with my baby's father. I moved on while he was in prison for the abuse I received. Now 2 months into his new relationship, he has announced marriage, which is fine. I don't allow Devin, who is 11 months old to have unsupervised visits with his biological father. I'm being bashed and called jealous, mean, spiteful, rude, etc. The abuse I received was in the presence of his other children, so I have no reason to think it wouldn't happen in the presence of Devin. I also only allow his biological father to visit, not his girlfriend. Would you guys allow your child who cannot speak have unsupervised visits? Am I being unfair and/or spiteful?

user banned Due November 7 (boy); 1 child; Dayton, Ohio 26853 posts
16th Sep '12

I would not allow anyone abusive to visit my child unsupervised.



Forget what other people say, it's your responsibility to protect that child.

Gheordynn [CNL] 3 kids; Edmonton, Alberta 20462 posts
16th Sep '12

In the case of abuse, absolutely not. Supervised visits only. Though I would probably let the new girlfriend come. There may come a time when your LO does get to see his dad unsupervised and he should probably know her, too.

Christina2011 17 kids; Salem, Oregon 1674 posts
16th Sep '12

Unsupervised, definitely not but you should allow the girlfriend to come, especially if they are planning on getting married.

loser mom Due June 24 (twins); 2 kids; 1 angel baby; Oslo, Norway, ,,, Europe 11493 posts
status 16th Sep '12

who is bashing you, the ex and his new gf?? Ehhh...just ignore them.

But yes, if they ARE getting married, you should allow her to visit your son also.

UrethraFranklin 15 kids; New Orleans, Louisiana 779 posts
16th Sep '12

I agree on No unsupervised visits atleast until he can speak and say what happens while he is there. I probably would let the girlfriend visit once she is actually his wife.

*mommy to 3* Due March 7 (girl); 2 kids; Virginia 1167 posts
16th Sep '12

i definitely agree with supervising his visits. If the g/f is going to in fact marry him and she isnt an obnoxious rude you know what then I would consider letting her come. If she comes over though aand is disrespectful in any way shape or form, then that would be the last time she was invited for quite a while.

bia. Due August 13; 2 kids; ., ., Portugal 76296 posts
status 16th Sep '12
Quoting Smartass *TNTC*:" I would not allow anyone abusive to visit my child unsupervised. Forget what other people say, it's your responsibility to protect that child."


:!:

ItsEasyIfYouTry 1 child; Florida 830 posts
16th Sep '12

Nope. I sure won't and wouldn't if I were you. I don't trust BD as far as I can throw him. Not to mention, if your previously abusive ex finds no problem being disrespectful and rude about HIS SON'S MOTHER, that is no influence I want unsupervised around my kid. You have every right to make this wise decision. You are his mama, his protector. I know how you feel though and why you want to ask others opinions about being hurtful/spiteful. If you were trying to be hurtful/spiteful you would not be asking anyone, you would know. Don't listen to the people saying those rude comments, they are not in your shoes, and have not dealt/felt with everything you are.

Shanti & Tay 17 kids; Ontario 9196 posts
17th Sep '12

im sorry but iv somewhat been in your possition, i would not let my son have visits with his father unsupervised and personally i would let the so called wife to be to visit either..its not her son and if he was gonna start getting unsupervised visits then id start letting her come around..thats just my opinion

AngelGabriel'sMama 1 child; Dayton, Ohio 2103 posts
17th Sep '12

No abuser would ever see my son unsupervised, that's some shit waiting to happen. As far as the fiancee, I would wait until they were married. If BD only has a certain amount of time with LO he needs to put his attention on him.

Shanti & Tay 17 kids; Ontario 9196 posts
17th Sep '12
Quoting AngelGabriel'sMama:" No abuser would ever see my son unsupervised, that's some shit waiting to happen. As far as the fiancee, ... [snip!] ... I would wait until they were married. If BD only has a certain amount of time with LO he needs to put his attention on him."


thats what im saying :)

Shanti & Tay 17 kids; Ontario 9196 posts
17th Sep '12
Quoting AngelGabriel'sMama:" No abuser would ever see my son unsupervised, that's some shit waiting to happen. As far as the fiancee, ... [snip!] ... I would wait until they were married. If BD only has a certain amount of time with LO he needs to put his attention on him."


thats what im saying :)