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KNZ. 3 kids; Washington 59253 posts
18th Sep '12
Quoting Commander Shepard:" My daughter call my husband dad because he's the only dad she's ever known. However, he came into her ... [snip!] ... when she was 5 months. She is now two. I think as long as your SO and your son are both comfortable with it, I'd say go for it."


yeah, that's why i wondered about the age. like, i didn't know if there was a certain age kids hit and dude is just 'dude'. but i mean, he's been in carter's life since he was...4, and he's been the father figure, so, it does make sense.

user banned 2 kids; Bat Cave, North Carolina 64587 posts
18th Sep '12

DS is 5. His bio dad is in his life (albeit rarely). DH (his stepdad) and I have been together since a month after he turned 1. Moved in together a few months later. DH was always okay with being called dad, and has referred to DS as his son since like, 6 months into the relationship.



However, DS didn't really consider him his dad until I got pregnant with DD. That's when he started referring to him as his dad to other people, but still called him by his name. Slowly (SO slowly) he's started calling him dad more and more, over the last 2 years since I got pregnant. even more once we got married.



We never pushed it, but we've always both made it known that his sister would call him dad, and that he could, too. But that he didn't have to. We told him that before I was pregnant, as well.
Like, "He is like your daddy. It's okay to have more than one daddy. You don't have to call him it, but if you want to, that's okay, too"



It was confusing for him for a while. And I know I may sound confusing and typed a novel :oops:



ALSO, once DD started saying Dada, he really picked up on it, because he would call DH "Brett" to her, and we explained that she didnt know who that was, since she calls him dada, so he started calling him dad for convenience sake :lol:
He still calls him by his name quite a bit, too though

Ava&Alice 2 kids; San Antonio, TX, United States 12696 posts
18th Sep '12
Quoting KNZ.:" It's exactly that. And Clara, at 2, already teases carter. She's give him "the look" and goes, "MY ... [snip!] ... goes, "MY dada. MINE." she just knows it gets him upset, not what she's actually saying, but it makes me feel so bad for him! "


Awe well it'll just take some getting use to. Maybe if it's said more often you'll get use to it.

KNZ. 3 kids; Washington 59253 posts
18th Sep '12
Quoting aLm:" Sorry, that's got to be tough. I got with my DH when my LO was 2 (he's 9 now) and he just calls him by ... [snip!] ... his first name, but my oldest son's bio-dad has always been around. We have 2 children together and the third ones on the way."


So he calls bio-dad, 'dad', then i'm assuming. my son's never called anyone his dad, yet he's asked when he is going to get a dad so i think it means alot to him to give that right person that 'title'.

Ava&Alice 2 kids; San Antonio, TX, United States 12696 posts
18th Sep '12
Quoting Commander Shepard:" <blockquote><b>Quoting Let's Go To The Mall:</b>" If your SO feels comfortable with ... [snip!] ... it may make him feel left out since Clara calls him dad but Carter doesn't. "</blockquote> Love your avi and name. Lol."


Thank you! :D

KNZ. 3 kids; Washington 59253 posts
18th Sep '12
Quoting Mayhem ♥:" DS is 5. His bio dad is in his life (albeit rarely). DH (his stepdad) and I have been together since ... [snip!] ... calls him dada, so he started calling him dad for convenience sake :lol: He still calls him by his name quite a bit, too though"


that makes sense!
my daughter's dad and i were actually separated for awhile and now that we're all back together/moving everyone back together, and carter's hearing clara call him dad, it makes him feel left out and sometimes he'll slip up and call him dad.
i'm just like, overly protective over the term cos it's been so many years protecting him from being hurt from any "potential dad" leaving the picture, if you know what i mean.
but this guy isn't going anywhere, and they both really love each other. so it's mostly just an adjustment for me haha

KNZ. 3 kids; Washington 59253 posts
18th Sep '12
Quoting Let's Go To The Mall:" Awe well it'll just take some getting use to. Maybe if it's said more often you'll get use to it. "


I think so too! thanks for the advice!

aℓm 4 kids; Ohio 824 posts
18th Sep '12
Quoting KNZ.:" So he calls bio-dad, 'dad', then i'm assuming. my son's never called anyone his dad, yet he's asked ... [snip!] ... his dad, yet he's asked when he is going to get a dad so i think it means alot to him to give that right person that 'title'. "



Yep, you're right.



I would just let it play out and not stress, when it's right he will do it. Since he's never called anyone Dad it's going to mean a lot with him being older and since there is no bio-dad involved and everyone else will be calling him dad then I'm sure it's just a matter of time before he does it.

USAF wf&m 2 kids; Albuquerque, New Mexico 1795 posts
18th Sep '12

Not in this situation, but I went through it as a kid. I was about 6 or 7 and I wanted to call my stepdad "dad" but he didnt want me to. He already had 3 kids from a precious marriage and they would get mad if I called him that so he told my mom to tell me not to call him that. Ever since then I always called him by his name. I say if your SO is cool with it then let him! I think its more about feeling like you belong. My mom had a baby with my stepdad so of course I just wanted to be like my step brothers and sisters and call him dad too. It hurt alot when I was told not to call him that and still remember the hurt as an adult!

KNZ. 3 kids; Washington 59253 posts
18th Sep '12
Quoting aLm:" Yep, you're right. I would just let it play out and not stress, when it's right he will do it. ... [snip!] ... is no bio-dad involved and everyone else will be calling him dad then I'm sure it's just a matter of time before he does it."


Very true. Thanks for the advice!

KNZ. 3 kids; Washington 59253 posts
18th Sep '12
Quoting USAF wf&m:" Not in this situation, but I went through it as a kid. I was about 6 or 7 and I wanted to call my stepdad ... [snip!] ... and sisters and call him dad too. It hurt alot when I was told not to call him that and still remember the hurt as an adult! "


:( that's really sad :( i'm sorry you had to deal with that! i can imagine it would just cause you to feel really left out.
our dude is definitely on board with it, and has brought it up before me, i'm the cautious one about it :P

P3RvYmCp3rv 2 kids; Carlyle, Illinois 11904 posts
18th Sep '12
Quoting KNZ.:" It makes my ears tingle when i think about it haha. It's just such a new 'term' to have come out of Carter's mouth. "

Welp if jason is comfortable with it let the boy call him that. Cylus calls nick dad.

user banned 2 kids; Bat Cave, North Carolina 64587 posts
18th Sep '12

<blockquote><b>Quoting KNZ.:</b>" that makes sense! my daughter's dad and i were actually separated for awhile and now that we're all ... [snip!] ... mean. but this guy isn't going anywhere, and they both really love each other. so it's mostly just an adjustment for me haha "</blockquote>



I definitely understand. I say as long as your SO and Carter are both comfortable with it, it's okay! But yeah, I understand wanting to be cautious. Losing a dad after not having one for so long would be terrible.

Elle&Cole 2 kids; 1 angel baby; Rio Rancho, NM, United States 22919 posts
status 18th Sep '12

I didn't Read all the comments but congrats on expecting again!!! How far along?! Your kids are so cute in going to have to creepily stalk you and your newb because I have baby fever so bad!

Crazy one 3 kids; California 17049 posts
18th Sep '12

never called my step-dad dad and the only reason I ever called my step-mom mom is because they lied to me and said she was my bio mom and that was a lie. I knew she wasn't even before I found out.. She treated me different.