Reply
PPD :( long sorry :'( First Time Momma(: 1 child; Columbus, Ohio 686 posts
19th Sep '12

All I wanna do is cry... LO is 3 weeks old everything was fine till recently :( we are in the hospital for the second time I'm breast feeding which isn't going well LO has been soooo fussy my SO works 6pm-6am so he gets home and sleeps till 3 he tries to help on his days off. He does try don't get me wrong but I feel like I need more help since the LO is sick I don't really sleep at night because I'm worried about him. I dont feel like doing anything anymore i just sit in my room and i already feel like my SO isn't attracted to me anymore which makes me more upset. He liked a girl on FBs picture this evening and when I seen I lost it and started crying.... Idk why. He don't like any of my pictures (sounds childish) I know but ugh. He tells me I'm beautiful when I have a negative comment about the way I look. I cry about the smallest stuff, I don't feel like myself anymore. So here I am it's 1 am I'm holding the LO watching the SO sleep balling my eyes out!!!

Evelynns Mama! 1 child; Dayton, Ohio 1735 posts
19th Sep '12

Awww I'm sorry ! :(
I was the same exact way. And at 3 months pp I am still medicated.
I didn't want to, but I stuck to it, and after about 2 weeks I felt SO much better. Didn't help that I have terrible anxiety on top of it.
Things will get better , you will feel better.
Just enjoy your LO, as much as you can.
I know it sounds so completely horrible but in the beginning (after she got home from nicu for jaundice and not feeding), I always wanted to leave so I wouldn't worry... Have my mom watch her, was scared to be around her ETC.
I couldn't help it,ppd is a horrible horrible thing.
Are they medicating you for it ??

nothingness Arizona 3578 posts
19th Sep '12

Let it out chica, just let it out! I'm so sorry to hear that :( those are the worst feelings in the world to have. It'll pass! Just let it out don't hold anything in, you're gonna be ok in the end!

First Time Momma(: 1 child; Columbus, Ohio 686 posts
19th Sep '12

<blockquote><b>Quoting JudyRebecca:</b>" Awww I'm sorry ! :( I was the same exact way. And at 3 months pp I am still medicated. I didn't want ... [snip!] ... her, was scared to be around her ETC. I couldn't help it,ppd is a horrible horrible thing. Are they medicating you for it ??"</blockquote>




Gavin was in the nicu for a week after he was born also. I've only been home with him for 2 weeks :( and were back here. I haven't called the doctor yet with Gavin being here and sick at home I haven't made time to call. I am going to tomorrow for sure tho... I don't like this feeling I feel so helpless then the LO will scream and cry and I just wanna run :'(

Evelynns Mama! 1 child; Dayton, Ohio 1735 posts
19th Sep '12

Yeah... I felt that way.
I'm so ashamed now tho, but it's a normal feeling when you have ppd.
If you don't feel safe with him, you need to call.
I had my mom watch her while I went out to dinner, and I felt better when I did. I feel bad for leaving her already, but I had to for my mental state.



One night, I told my mom and SO I didn't want to take care of her :/ I was horrible.... I loved her so much, and still do. I just felt like I wasn't capable of caring for her, or something would happen and I wouldn't know what to do.. ppd is terrible.
Up until a few weeks of having meds, I felt like she wasn't mine... I loved her unconditionally but, felt disconnected from her. Maybe it was because of her being in nicu being cared for by nurses mixed with ppd.. Idk.
I'm just so glad I'm better now and i am capable of enjoying her.. it's amazing and I wouldn't image my life any other way... You'll get there mama :)

Narissa Gaspersic Due December 16; 1 child; Australia 40 posts
19th Sep '12

Oh you poor bugger =( I never suffered with the PD and to see how you have been feeling makes me feel very sad for you, It should be a wonderful (yet sleep deprived and a bit of a learning curve) experience being a new mum and you are coping the other shitty end of being a new mum =( please go straight to your doctor and get help so you can get better so you can enjoy the special times that will come with your new little bambino. Hope it all works out for you, you deserve to have a happy healthy relationship with your bub and partner and as soon as you get help the sooner you will become better xoxoxo

lov'n Morgan 17 kids; Hickory, North Carolina 2355 posts
19th Sep '12
Quoting First Time Momma(::" All I wanna do is cry... LO is 3 weeks old everything was fine till recently :( we are in the hospital ... [snip!] ... stuff, I don't feel like myself anymore. So here I am it's 1 am I'm holding the LO watching the SO sleep balling my eyes out!!!"


go see your dr! If you do have PPD it is ok! Have you talked to your bf about the PPD? Ask him for support! But please call your dr as soon as they open!

wilde_mommy 4 kids; Columbus, Ohio 3459 posts
19th Sep '12

I'm sorry Mama, PPD is really hard. But I promise you if you call your dr and tell them how you're feeling and let them know you're at your breaking point they will get you in ASAP! And honestly if you're still in childrens the next time a dr comes in tell them! They might be able to do something to help you.Please do not be afraid to reach out for help! You are doing nothing wrong, this is actually a very normal thing for mom's to go through. I went to the OB at Riverside and when I called them they got me in the next day. Talk to your SO about how you're feeling, I'm sure he will be more understanding than what you think. If you're worried about the BFing ask a nurse if there is a lactation consultant there at the hospital you can talk to, or call WIC and set up an appt to talk to one. The WIC office on Parsons (in the health department) is a walk in clinic. Hang in there mama, it will get easier.

First Time Momma(: 1 child; Columbus, Ohio 686 posts
20th Sep '12

Thanks for all the support ladies. I called the doctor and I will be seen Monday. Just when things got a tad bit better, I got some rest and a good meal and today was good my SO's grandfather passed away :(
We went and said our good byes yesterday so we knew it was coming but it's still so upsetting. Sitting there watching my SO tell his gpa he loved him and it was okay to pass away was so hard :'(

Jen black 12 Due October 15; 1 child; United Kingdom 56 posts
23rd Sep '12

I had my son in 2007. Had to get induced and opted for an epidural the first one didnt work so I had it reset. Everything went well and I was over the moon when he arrived. However, less then 2 hours after delivery EVERYTHING went down hill. I was still on the catheter so I couldn't move very much and my gorgeous boy was screaming to be held and fed. I couldn't do it I couldn't move. So I had to keep calling the nurses to give him to me and get them to take him and soothe him when he cried. I thought nothing of it at the time except "wow this is hard". We got home 2 days later and I couldn't cope. Trying to bf every 2 hours I was exhausted. So we switched to formula feeding and my husband took over. 3 months past I wouldn't feed him I wouldn't change him. I kept telling my husband I was going ti leave him and let him and my mum take care of him. I had no idea what was going on till I mentioned to my midwife and she said get to the doctor I think you have pnd/ppd. So I went and was medicated till I was 12 weeks pregnant with this baby. But even after almost 5 years on the. medication and the mental trauma of that epidural I don't feel like I've properly bonded with my son. I love him unconditionally and would kill and die for him but from that moment at 2 hours old I just don't feel right with him. Please make sure your doctor helps you. I would hate for anyone to go through what I went through. Good luck xx