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Issues At Home mehhhhh Minnesota 368 posts
22nd Sep '12

This isn't about abuse or anything, so don't worry about that. :D



But I'm 27 weeks pregnant right now. Well, 27 and a day. And while I don't mind housekeeping, my father has me and my SO doing literally everything. SO gets 160 dollars a month in food stamps and 100 goes to my dad, and he pays 200 dollars rent, which neither of us have a problem with which is good.



However, my father leaves PILES of things everywhere and expects us to clean daily and keep the house spotlessly. SO works the same hours as my dad, so it doesn't make sense for my dad to expect SO to be awake as much as I am.



And again, I don't mind cleaning. I just...I feel like everything is piling up. I'm having to sweep and bending over to get the dustpan leaves me light-headed for almost half an hour each time.



When I bring it up to my dad, he says I use my pregnancy as an excuse but there is really just things I just can't do.



How do I phrase it so he understands I can't keep doing this?
(He also expects me to keep the house clean after my son is born so...dunno what I'm supposed to do here?)

Colt's mommy 1 child; Moore, Oklahoma 22103 posts
22nd Sep '12

I feel like it's ok that he expects you to keep the house clean, but he's an adult, he should be picking up after himself, you know? Also, don't bend over to pick up stuff, do a squat so your back is still straightish, you know? It'll also help build up those leg muscles!! I had to do that a lot at my job while pregnant.

Aribean 1 child; California 11400 posts
22nd Sep '12

Do you guys pay rent or help with bills?

mehhhhh Minnesota 368 posts
22nd Sep '12
Quoting Colt's mommy:" I feel like it's ok that he expects you to keep the house clean, but he's an adult, he should be picking ... [snip!] ... is still straightish, you know? It'll also help build up those leg muscles!! I had to do that a lot at my job while pregnant. "


Well, like I said, I don't mind cleaning. But when it takes over an hour a day to clean up what was just cleaned yesterday, I feel like I'm already a mom to an overgrown man-child.
SO does what he can, but my dad doesn't do a siiiiingle thing.



I have torn ligaments in my knee so it's hard to squat but I do it when I can.

mehhhhh Minnesota 368 posts
22nd Sep '12
Quoting Aribean:" Do you guys pay rent or help with bills?"


Did you read the first post?

♡Makeup Addiction♡ 2 kids; 4 angel babies; Milwaukee, WI, United States 4546 posts
22nd Sep '12

First of he's a grown ass man and needs to pick up after himself, thats just childish. Secondly those foodstamps are intended for the person (s) stated in the FoodShare case not your father. And don't bend over, squat if you need to pick anything up

mehhhhh Minnesota 368 posts
22nd Sep '12
Quoting DamonSalvatore=Addiction:" First of he's a grown ass man and needs to pick up after himself, thats just childish. Secondly those ... [snip!] ... for the person (s) stated in the FoodShare case not your father. And don't bend over, squat if you need to pick anything up"


We eat the food my dad buys, so it seemed fair to kick some of it his way. It was a predetermined agreement between me and SO without talking to my dad.

Aribean 1 child; California 11400 posts
22nd Sep '12

<blockquote><b>Quoting Monika Dawn:</b>" Did you read the first post?"</blockquote>




Lol skipped right over it. Sorry.
If you guys are paying some of the rent and food then he shouldn't be expecting you to keep the place spotless...
He needs to help clean up after himself...
But with you being home you should also keep up with the home as best as you can.

Kristen Parris 2 kids; Virginia 1979 posts
22nd Sep '12

I don't think it matters if you pay rent or not, he SHOULD be cleaning up after himself regardless! It seems like he won't ever understand how hard it is being pregnant and doing all of that and then how hard it will be when you have a newborn. Let him know that you don't mind keeping the house clean but he should be picking up after himself!!
If that wont work you will just have to deal with it until you guys can move out :( unfortunately we are in almost the same kind of situation and I totally know how you feel :-/

Aribean 1 child; California 11400 posts
22nd Sep '12

<blockquote><b>Quoting Kristen Parris:</b>" I don't think it matters if you pay rent or not, he SHOULD be cleaning up after himself regardless! It ... [snip!] ... it until you guys can move out :( unfortunately we are in almost the same kind of situation and I totally know how you feel :-/"</blockquote>




It does matter cause they'd be living there for free so it would only be fair for them to upkeep the house and really, it's his house so he can do whatever he feels like as far as making messes. They always have the option of moving out..
But that's not the case they are helping to pay rent and groceries so she shouldn't have to be expected to keep the place spotless and clean up after him.
He can do that himself..

Kristen Parris 2 kids; Virginia 1979 posts
22nd Sep '12

<blockquote><b>Quoting Aribean:</b>" <blockquote><b>Quoting Kristen Parris:</b>" I don't think it matters if you pay rent ... [snip!] ... and groceries so she shouldn't have to be expected to keep the place spotless and clean up after him. He can do that himself.."</blockquote>



I disagree. Keeping the house clean and cleaning up after yourself is one thing but being expected to clean up after other adults in a house is just ridiculous whether you pay rent or not. We live with my inlaws in their basement rent free per their request and we keep our area clean and clean up after ourselves and they do not expect us to clean up the messes that their 13 yr old or their dogs or themselves make. It's not right to take advantage of someone like that.

* MRS KING * 2 kids; Whitesboro, Oklahoma 1550 posts
22nd Sep '12

What are the circumstances that force you to live with him? Because if i have this guy nailed right, then when baby comes hes going to become a lot more irritating, and unsensitive. Crying babies, sleep deprived women, and grumpy old men= stress for everyone involved. I vote move out, if you can.

Kristen Parris 2 kids; Virginia 1979 posts
22nd Sep '12

<blockquote><b>Quoting * MRS KING *:</b>" What are the circumstances that force you to live with him? Because if i have this guy nailed right, ... [snip!] ... Crying babies, sleep deprived women, and grumpy old men= stress for everyone involved. I vote move out, if you can."</blockquote>



Agreed!

Aribean 1 child; California 11400 posts
22nd Sep '12

<blockquote><b>Quoting Kristen Parris:</b>" <blockquote><b>Quoting Aribean:</b>" <blockquote><b>Quoting Kristen Parris:</b>" ... [snip!] ... up the messes that their 13 yr old or their dogs or themselves make. It's not right to take advantage of someone like that."</blockquote>




Because you're using electricity, water, eating food and taking up space..
Why wouldnt you want to help keep the house clean when they are letting you live with them for free.
Seems silly to think otherwise..as if your entitled to that space. If you're able to keep you're area clean then cleaning the kitchen and living area or vacuuming the house shouldn't be such a big deal. Shows gratitude by taking some pressure of of the homeowners.
When I stay with my mother I clean the house from top to bottom for her...
Obviously I'm not pregnant though. The OP really shouldn't be expected to clean the house spotless in her condition and the fact that they are also putting money towards rent gives them more lax on house keeping. Even though the bills aren't Completley split.

Kristen Parris 2 kids; Virginia 1979 posts
22nd Sep '12

<blockquote><b>Quoting Aribean:</b>" <blockquote><b>Quoting Kristen Parris:</b>" <blockquote><b>Quoting Aribean:</b>" ... [snip!] ... they are also putting money towards rent gives them more lax on house keeping. Even though the bills aren't Completley split."</blockquote>



I agree with cleaning up the kitchen or living room or whatever, which is what we do and we buy groceries by the way but to be expected to clean up messes specifically made by an another adult all of the time is being taken advantage of!



We will have to agree to disagree :) if we had to start you know doing their laundry or putting away their stuff or picking up after them we would be out of here!