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♥ Crabigail's Mom 1 child; Tennessee 10841 posts
23rd Sep '12
Quoting LolaMcKitten:" I mean, if he is serious and he does take it to court, they would likely up his time, but likely not ... [snip!] ... son is 3, too, and if his sperm donor ever tried that crap, I would be pissed - I'm sorry he's being that way. It's not easy. "

no it's definately not. He has me so upset, especially since I feel like I've been very accomadating. I always give him or his family an extra day here and there to give them more time. AND, she is actually there this weekend and he couldn't even pick her up, his sister had to, because he said he needed to study.

♥ Crabigail's Mom 1 child; Tennessee 10841 posts
23rd Sep '12
Quoting SuperOvulator;♥ ;]:" I'm in a similar situation :? My BD just sent me papers for visitation, and wants to take the twins (two years old) six hours away to a different state every other weekend."


geez that's awful



*mommy to 3* Due March 7; 2 kids; Virginia 1167 posts
23rd Sep '12

Your child is 3 so that means in less than a year she would be old enought o start preschool. I think a judge will see that unreaasonable since she is getting so close to school age. And plus you've been the primary caregiver for so long, it would hurt her more to disrupt her routine. And if he does take you to court make sure that you ask how he plans to provide care for her while hes at work and such. I honestly think he may be doing this b/c hes pissed about the child support. And he stupidly thinks that if he has her half the time it will all go away.

♥ Crabigail's Mom 1 child; Tennessee 10841 posts
23rd Sep '12
Quoting *Gaven & Ashton's Mommy*:" Your child is 3 so that means in less than a year she would be old enought o start preschool. I think ... [snip!] ... doing this b/c hes pissed about the child support. And he stupidly thinks that if he has her half the time it will all go away."

yes, I really think that is a factor in this whole mess too.

Monica♥YASDYARDFR 17 kids; Beverly Hills, California 57063 posts
23rd Sep '12

Do you think he is just trying to avoid his wages being garnished for child support that has caused this? I would lawyer up if at all possible just in case because you never know who the judge is going to be or how great his lawyer will be. I strongly doubt anything will come of this case though because as you and others have stated she is in a routine and it isn't beneficial to her to upset that. I'm sorry he is putting you through that. I really think he is just trying to get out of paying child support and to me that it is EXTREMELY selfish.

Nighthawk 2 kids; Hinesville, Georgia 242 posts
23rd Sep '12

Have you been served with any papers yet? If not, don't stress about it. My ex and I have been divorced for 2 1/2 yrs and separated before that. He's constantly saying how he's gonna take me back to court bc of the custody I have. He has yet to do it. And now she's school age so his 50/50 custody he wanted is out the door. He's military and lives overseas right now however will be moving back stateside to another state though within the next year. He keeps saying he's gonna go after 50/50 still though. It won't happen bc our daughter is in an advanced Kindergarten class right now and switching schools mid year would only hurt her.



Alot of time it's all talk on their behalf. Don't sweat it til you're served papers

MommyingWithGrace Beverly Hills, California 2427 posts
23rd Sep '12

If he lives 2 hours away, it wont happen.
Second, he cant do that if he has arrears....as far as I know. If you owe money, you cant modify child support much less try getting equal time to avoid paying child support.

*mommy to 3* Due March 7; 2 kids; Virginia 1167 posts
23rd Sep '12
Quoting MommyingWithGrace:" If he lives 2 hours away, it wont happen. Second, he cant do that if he has arrears....as far as I know. ... [snip!] ... far as I know. If you owe money, you cant modify child support much less try getting equal time to avoid paying child support."


Yepp this is true. He cant get out of arrears in child support. My ex is behind several months and the only way he can get out of it is to pay it. And since my ex isnt paying anything at all it completely makes any argument that he cant afford that much invalid. If it was bc he cant afford it he would be paying SOMETHING to prove that he wants to help with our son.

♥ Crabigail's Mom 1 child; Tennessee 10841 posts
23rd Sep '12
Quoting Nighthawk:" Have you been served with any papers yet? If not, don't stress about it. My ex and I have been divorced ... [snip!] ... schools mid year would only hurt her. Alot of time it's all talk on their behalf. Don't sweat it til you're served papers"


no, no papers yet. I'm hoping it's all talk, even though it's really unnecessary and selfish IMO.

♥ Crabigail's Mom 1 child; Tennessee 10841 posts
23rd Sep '12
Quoting MommyingWithGrace:" If he lives 2 hours away, it wont happen. Second, he cant do that if he has arrears....as far as I know. ... [snip!] ... far as I know. If you owe money, you cant modify child support much less try getting equal time to avoid paying child support."


yeah he was in arrears $1500 so they started garnishing his wages. Now that it comes straight out of his paycheck, it's starting to get caught up. I think last I checked he's only $700 in arrears now. I just don't understand why he views this as my fault? First off, he cheated and broke up our family in the first place... second, he wasn't there when she was an infant, and when I left she was 12 months old.. this is all she knows. Why does he think he is exempt from paying child support? I don't get it. I have been busting my ass trying to make sure they have a good relationship in spite of our past and that her life has minimal disruptions and good stability, but apparently it doesn't matter.

lov'n Morgan 17 kids; Hickory, North Carolina 2355 posts
23rd Sep '12
Quoting ♥ Crabigail's Mom:" this whole situation has made me sick. I've been bending over backwards to make sure they have a good relationship and this is what happens..."


the judge will never go for it unless you guys agree with it. the court usually wants the child to have a stable "home" while seeing the other parent as much as possible. that's what I was told