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Vent and questions.. AnnGiggles TTC since Sep 2012; 1 child; Utah 234 posts
23rd Sep '12

As most of you know (if you have been watching my updates and posts) I ended up not pregnant. Well late at night on the 17th my ex boyfriend from a while ago contacted me to go get coffee or food before he had to go back to California for the Marines (he already did boot camp). Long story short we talked about why we broke up and how much we missed each other and our feelings. We ended up getting back together. When he started to take me back home he looked at me and told me he wants to TTC. He will be 21 in November and I will be 18 as well in November. I personally think I am to young and it would be very hard due to him being in the Marines and all. My question is if you have a husband or boyfriend in the Marines with a baby, how hard was it? How stressful was the relationship before your baby? Another thing is early in the morning around 130-230 (on the 18th) we got busy but what I didn't realize is according to my cycles and everything (since I have been off bc for about month till the other day) the 18th was one of my fertile days. My question is does it matter at all what time you have sex on your fertile days? (That probably was a stupid question but I had to ask anyway)
In advance thank you for taking your time for reading this

Kimber-lily Due September 27 (girl); 4 kids; Nova Scotia 28962 posts
23rd Sep '12

TTC with a person you haven't been with for very long is stupid.

Tavi 1 child; Washington 24408 posts
23rd Sep '12

I wouldn't do it.



You need to give it a lot more time. Seriously....enjoy your life. Enjoy pissing by yourself without juggling toys. Enjoy not wiping an ass every half an hour or so. Enjoy being care free.....no responsibilities.



Also....get on BC. Just continue dating, but don't try for a baby so soon.

MommyingWithGrace Beverly Hills, California 2427 posts
23rd Sep '12

Quoting Kimber-Lily:" TTC with a person you haven't been with for very long is stupid




I dont think the idea if too far fetched though. a lot of people have done it.

Vivialopod 2 kids; Vantaa, Finland 42788 posts
23rd Sep '12

<blockquote><b>Quoting Kimber-Lily:</b>" TTC with a person you haven't been with for very long is stupid."</blockquote>




:!:



I got pregnant on accident in my first date with my so. It's fucked everything up. Too much stress on a budding relationship. Forget being 17 fucking years old!

MommyingWithGrace Beverly Hills, California 2427 posts
23rd Sep '12
Quoting Tavi:" I wouldn't do it. You need to give it a lot more time. Seriously....enjoy your life. Enjoy pissing by ... [snip!] ... Enjoy being care free.....no responsibilities. Also....get on BC. Just continue dating, but don't try for a baby so soon. "


LOL @ pissing by yourself with juggling toys and wiping asses! Totally made my night!

Kimber-lily Due September 27 (girl); 4 kids; Nova Scotia 28962 posts
23rd Sep '12
Quoting 12.21.07
MommyingWithGrace Beverly Hills, California 2427 posts
24th Sep '12

I already lived the military life and it's very different.



OP- most guys like that who are in the military want children because they know they risk never coming back home after deployment. I guess that is a way to leave a piece of themselves behind.
You just have to decide if that lifestyle is right for you. It is hard raising a child in the military. Been there, done that. You pretty much have to decide if you wouldnt mind feeling like a single mom. Basically, you will be taken care of, but dont expect much help raising the baby.

Tavi 1 child; Washington 24408 posts
24th Sep '12
Quoting MommyingWithGrace:" LOL @ pissing by yourself with juggling toys and wiping asses! Totally made my night!"


Lol, It's rough.



Don't get me wrong, I love LO, but sometimes I really wish I had a bit longer to be stupid and only worry about myself. Hell I was 21 when I had her, so 17...yea, you wouldn't even need to tell me,lol

AnnGiggles TTC since Sep 2012; 1 child; Utah 234 posts
24th Sep '12
Quoting MommyingWithGrace:" I already lived the military life and it's very different. OP- most guys like that who are in the military ... [snip!] ... you wouldnt mind feeling like a single mom. Basically, you will be taken care of, but dont expect much help raising the baby."


It sounds really difficult and that is what is stopping me the most. I jus don't wanna regret anything you know? And thank you for your reply

MommyingWithGrace Beverly Hills, California 2427 posts
24th Sep '12
Quoting AnnGiggles:" It sounds really difficult and that is what is stopping me the most. I jus don't wanna regret anything you know? And thank you for your reply "


Here is something else to think about...
Does he plan on marrying you? If he marries you, you can get housing, health insurance for you and the baby, etc.
How would your parents feel about you getting pregnant at 17?
How would they feel if you moved away?

Donna Jo Tanner 1 child; Beach Haven, New Jersey 6440 posts
24th Sep '12

<blockquote><b>Quoting MommyingWithGrace:</b>" "</blockquote>




Right?! I did it! I was dating DH for a month when we started TTC. We are happier than ever and going on three years together.
But OP he was 24, I was 22 and we have both lived our young lives. I was even married before and made all my stupid teenage mistakes!
I think you should give it time. My ex DH joined the military and that's when everything went to shit for our marriage. It's incredibly stressful and we did t have children.

AnnGiggles TTC since Sep 2012; 1 child; Utah 234 posts
24th Sep '12
Quoting MommyingWithGrace:" Here is something else to think about... Does he plan on marrying you? If he marries you, you can get ... [snip!] ... you and the baby, etc. How would your parents feel about you getting pregnant at 17? How would they feel if you moved away?"


He has already asked the question, he is jus waiting for my reply. My mom doesn't really care what I do with my life or where I go. She has treated me like an adult since I was 16. I already told her that I am planning on moving out with in a month and she is jus fine with it.

MommyingWithGrace Beverly Hills, California 2427 posts
24th Sep '12
Quoting AnnGiggles:" He has already asked the question, he is jus waiting for my reply. My mom doesn't really care what I ... [snip!] ... like an adult since I was 16. I already told her that I am planning on moving out with in a month and she is jus fine with it."


If he is willing to marry you and support you, then I see no reason why you shouldnt.
Try having 1 child and going through a deployment with just 1 child. See how you handle that. If you handled everything well, then talk about more kids. I would start slow because the military can either make or break a marriage. The odds are high that it will break a marriage.
My marriage was on teh rocks when my husband was in the army. Literally, every day I wanted to leave him. Now that he is out...everything between us is amazing.

MommyingWithGrace Beverly Hills, California 2427 posts
24th Sep '12

You just have to be willing to stick in the marriage through thick and thin.
You have to tell yourself that this lifestyle isnt forever.
Remind yourself that because of this lifestyle you and your child and taken care of.
Be understanding when he gets called in at a moments notice or has to stay late for stupid reasons.
Be prepared to stick his plate in the microwave and when you see him again, he is ragged out next to you on the bed while you trip over his boots trying to get to a fussy baby. lol It happens!