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school/summer parenting plan snglemama 4 kids; Georgia 11978 posts
24th Sep '12

anyone have 50% custody.. and a school year vs summer parenting plan?

I work full time nights. My kids dad was (is?) an asshole.. he got 50% custody. The kids insist he's being great now. IT sounds like they have a good home there, consistent schedule, and (finally) appropriate discipline.

at my place.. they are with a sitter overnight, then in school all day (and youngest at daycare)

as much as it turns my stomach, I'm thinking of offering him school year custody, and me get summers. I could save up my vacation time for summers. We switch 3 ngihts a week as it is.. and the kids HATE it. They need stability. and, since he won't cave.. I feel like I should.

but.. I still want 50%.. and trying to come up with a reasonable plan.

like.. I get hte kids thursday night through monday morning every other weekend (I'm off work those nights so I could bring them to school) and friday evening from after school 3-8p
then, during the summer.. he gets them every other weekend.. but from saturday morning until sunday night.. and the alternate friday.

and, I get them on days off from school?

does that sound reasonable? if he refuses.. does it sound like something the courts would approve.. in best interest of the kids.. for more stability than switching 3 nights a week.. mid-evening?

SMBC**TTC#3 TTC since Jun 2013; 2 kids; California 17897 posts
24th Sep '12
Quoting snglemama:" anyone have 50% custody.. and a school year vs summer parenting plan? I work full time nights. My ... [snip!] ... the courts would approve.. in best interest of the kids.. for more stability than switching 3 nights a week.. mid-evening?"


I'm confused....can you sum it up? If their dad is giving them a stable environment and they're going to school.. then let them stay there...this coming from me who was once in the same situation as your kids.

snglemama 4 kids; Georgia 11978 posts
24th Sep '12
Quoting Is that still my name?:" I'm confused....can you sum it up? If their dad is giving them a stable environment and they're going ... [snip!] ... and they're going to school.. then let them stay there...this coming from me who was once in the same situation as your kids."


yes.. that's my point. but.. I'm looking for an actual parenting plan so I still have them. I'm a great mom...but he won't give in so I will.

so, the bottom schedule sound reasonable if he says no? if I petition the courts? that I have them every other weekend.. extended weekend, and all summer.. with him having them every other weekend.. just saturday and sunday to keep it at 50%?

Lorelei's Mommy ♥ 1 child; Scotts Valley, CA, United States 1463 posts
24th Sep '12
Quoting snglemama:" anyone have 50% custody.. and a school year vs summer parenting plan? I work full time nights. My ... [snip!] ... the courts would approve.. in best interest of the kids.. for more stability than switching 3 nights a week.. mid-evening?"

So you want: thursday - monday, friday evenings 3-8pm and every other weekend.
and then summers he gets every other saturday - sunday. and alternate fridays?



I'm confused?
So he'd get tuesday, wednesday and friday evenings and every other weekend? and then summer he'd get saturday and sunday one weekend and friday the next?
Cause the summer one doesnt even sound equal.

snglemama 4 kids; Georgia 11978 posts
24th Sep '12
Quoting Lorelei's Mommy ♥:" So you want: thursday - monday, friday evenings 3-8pm and every other weekend. and then summers he gets ... [snip!] ... and then summer he'd get saturday and sunday one weekend and friday the next? Cause the summer one doesnt even sound equal."


of course the summer isn't equal.. t's to even out him having them most of the tme during the school year.



during the school year.. he'd have them most of the time.. he'd have them 10 days out of every 2 weeks..minus a few hours on friday. I'd have them 4 days.



then in summer.. he'd have them 2 days out of every 2 weeks.. plus another day.



summer is 3 months, school year is 9



Mama Mallo (: 2 kids; Texas 6514 posts
24th Sep '12

I think this sounds more than fair, I'd talk to him about it and see what he says.

snglemama 4 kids; Georgia 11978 posts
25th Sep '12
Quoting Mama Mallo (::" I think this sounds more than fair, I'd talk to him about it and see what he says."


: ( makes me sad to think about. I know he'll make it sound like I'm a shitty mom who doesn't want them. but.. I feel like one of us needs to man up and do what's best for the kids.

Mama Mallo (: 2 kids; Texas 6514 posts
25th Sep '12
Quoting snglemama:" : ( makes me sad to think about. I know he'll make it sound like I'm a shitty mom who doesn't want them. but.. I feel like one of us needs to man up and do what's best for the kids."


Exactly. Plus, the time evens out during the summer months. If he doesn't agree, I think a judge definitely would.

snglemama 4 kids; Georgia 11978 posts
25th Sep '12
Quoting Mama Mallo (::" Exactly. Plus, the time evens out during the summer months. If he doesn't agree, I think a judge definitely would."


thanks.



I'm going to give it a little more time (advice froma good friend)



I picked up my kids tonight 730... and even though they'll be in bed by 830... it's hard to think about giving up this time.