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homes cool Due August 1; 2 kids; 2 angel babies; Indiana 61627 posts
2nd Jan '13
Quoting I♥MyTots:" Thank you! I just read the book of jobs verses 1, 2, 3 and now I'm reading the book of Joshua verses ... [snip!] ... 1, 2, 3, 4 to make up from yesterday. I think I'm going to go ahead and read some more since the girls are being so good."

The book of Job always amazes me. His faith was just mind blowing.

lolajessup 3 kids; 1 angel baby; Beaverton, Michigan 44076 posts
2nd Jan '13

Ladies I'm falling apart and I don't know what to do anymore. SO lied to me again. I've been trying so hard to trust him then I found out today I have yet again been betrayed by him. He has along history of lies he's told me and things he's done behind my back and Everytime I choose to work
It out for us and our family. But I just don't know where to go from here. Ive been crying for the last 4 hrs at least over this. I hate being stuck on this hospital. I just reassured myself today that he wouldn't lie to me because I was having intrusive thoughts about him Lying again. Then I found out I was yet again a victim of betrayal while talking to my friend. Im just do hurt. I don't know how to continue with this relationship anymore. I Hve no trust for him. I don't know what I'm supposed to do. I called off our engagement because I can't see myself marrying a man I can't trust. I feel like there's no us. It's always him and me. I told him I need to start this relationship with him back at square one because I don't know what I want. If he wants to be with me the. This is his chance to do it the right way. I have no good memories of our relationship because it's all been tainted with lies and deceit. I told him I want to start back as friends and start it all over again from square one. E needs to win me back and do everything the right way this time.



I just don't know what else I should do. If anyone has some encouragement or advice it would be appreciated because I'm just falling apart. I just want to Give up and leave. But I dont want to do that to my family. But I just don't know what else to do besides start over and make him win me back. It just hurts so bad :( I always feel so stuck between a rock and a hard place and I never know what the right thing to do is. I want this to work but I just can't ever heal because it never stops. He always relapses. I dont know when enough is enough.

user banned 3 kids; Portland, Michigan 15675 posts
2nd Jan '13
Quoting lolajessup:" Ladies I'm falling apart and I don't know what to do anymore. SO lied to me again. I've been trying so ... [snip!] ... I want this to work but I just can't ever heal because it never stops. He always relapses. I dont know when enough is enough."


I'm so sorry that you're having to deal with this on top of being stuck in the hospital. Are the lies that he's telling you really big ones or just small ones? I mean I know that a lie is a lie and it doesn't matter how big or small it is, it's still a lie and it still hurts but maybe if it's little, you can work things out but if he's continuing to lie to you over and over again then somethings gotta change.

Donna Jo Tanner 1 child; Beach Haven, New Jersey 6440 posts
2nd Jan '13

<blockquote><b>Quoting lolajessup:</b>" Ladies I'm falling apart and I don't know what to do anymore. SO lied to me again. I've been trying so ... [snip!] ... I want this to work but I just can't ever heal because it never stops. He always relapses. I dont know when enough is enough."</blockquote>




I have been through this. My 1st husband and I were highschool sweethearts. We got through a lot together. He even had emotional issues and was physically abusive but went to counseling and made a total turn around EXCEPT that's when the lies started. The only thing is I didn't know about any of them till our 4th year of marriage and our 6th year together. It tainted out whole marriage, everything was just lie after lie and it made all the good seem like they were just lies also. It suck being betrayed. I knew I could get over it all, I knew I could keep our marriage together if I really tried but I also knew that God did not want me to settle. I struggle for a long time with it all. But than I met my now DH, he is truly a man of god and everything I not only deserve but need. He makes me better and he covers my flaws, it's a mans job to cover his women not the women's job! He is the provider and protector. If he doesn't hold your heart in a high regard than he isn't worth it.
But it's all up to you. What you feel is right for you, what you feel God has in store for you. I really hope you find what's right for you and your family. And remember that you are strong enough for anything and with God nothing can stand against you.

lolajessup 3 kids; 1 angel baby; Beaverton, Michigan 44076 posts
2nd Jan '13

<blockquote><b>Quoting Jesus ♥'s Me:</b>" I'm so sorry that you're having to deal with this on top of being stuck in the hospital. Are the lies ... [snip!] ... if it's little, you can work things out but if he's continuing to lie to you over and over again then somethings gotta change. "</blockquote>




It varies. It's been since the very beginning of relationship. I could seriously type them out all day. But basically a lot of it has to deal with social media. He has done a lot behind my back on social media sites. That is majority of where the lies come from (and by lies its by omission, doing things behind my back). So we had made a decision to stop social media al together. Well a couple years ago I found out he made a FB behind my back. So when I found out he deleted it. Then this semester at school he came home and gave me an email and password and said this is for my FB. I freaked out and asked why he had one again. He said it was for school and he was only going to use it for business and marketing himself to get a job. We laid out rules that he was not to add personal friends only business related people such as people in his project group at school, businesses he's trying to get a job at, etc. well I never used the password to check on him because I trusted him. Well I wanted to trust him anyway. Just a couple of months ago we had a huge talk about lying because of another thing he did behind my back. Well I was talkin to my friend on te phone today and I told her lylian had an ear infection and she said "I know Jared saw it on FB". I held it together and called him after I got off with her and asked him about it. I feel so betrayed because he broke both rules we laid out for this acct. he added a personal friend and used it for personal use not related to business. It's kind of the tip of the iceberg. I just can't trust him. I just feel we have no good memories together because our whole relationship is tainted with lies since the very beginning.

lolajessup 3 kids; 1 angel baby; Beaverton, Michigan 44076 posts
2nd Jan '13

<blockquote><b>Quoting Jenna+1:</b>" <blockquote><b>Quoting lolajessup:</b>" Ladies I'm falling apart and I don't know what ... [snip!] ... right for you and your family. And remember that you are strong enough for anything and with God nothing can stand against you."</blockquote>




Thanks sweetie. I want to work it out. But we've been trying to work it out for 6 yrs now. I'm just at a point where I feel like when is this gonna be enough. So that's why I told him we need to start over. I can't Continue this relationship the way it is now. If he wants to be with me then he needs to win me over again.

user banned 3 kids; Portland, Michigan 15675 posts
2nd Jan '13
Quoting lolajessup:" <blockquote><b>Quoting Jesus ♥'s Me:</b>" I'm so sorry that you're having to ... [snip!] ... I just feel we have no good memories together because our whole relationship is tainted with lies since the very beginning."


I feel like you just explained mine and my husband's relationship. Neither of us have social sites, well like facebook because it has caused so much bull shit in our marriage. I don't want to dig into it any deeper in public but if you want you can PM me.

Donna Jo Tanner 1 child; Beach Haven, New Jersey 6440 posts
2nd Jan '13

<blockquote><b>Quoting lolajessup:</b>" <blockquote><b>Quoting Jenna+1:</b>" <blockquote><b>Quoting lolajessup:</b>" ... [snip!] ... start over. I can't Continue this relationship the way it is now. If he wants to be with me then he needs to win me over again."</blockquote>




That's a really great place to start, and this time that you have will show you if he is serious about earning your trust. I really think it just takes guys way longer to grow up and get it, I'll be praying for you and him.

Mommeee™ 2 kids; Beverly Hills, CA, United States 5268 posts
2nd Jan '13
Quoting lolajessup:" <blockquote><b>Quoting Jenna+1:</b>" <blockquote><b>Quoting lolajessup:</b>" ... [snip!] ... start over. I can't Continue this relationship the way it is now. If he wants to be with me then he needs to win me over again."


I'm so sorry you are going through this. I really hope things work out for you two. I will be praying for your family.

lolajessup 3 kids; 1 angel baby; Beaverton, Michigan 44076 posts
2nd Jan '13

<blockquote><b>Quoting Jenna+1:</b>" <blockquote><b>Quoting lolajessup:</b>" <blockquote><b>Quoting Jenna+1:</b>" ... [snip!] ... about earning your trust. I really think it just takes guys way longer to grow up and get it, I'll be praying for you and him."</blockquote>



Yeah I'm hoping that's what he'll do. I told him no promises but this is where we need to start. Thank you for your encouragement.

lolajessup 3 kids; 1 angel baby; Beaverton, Michigan 44076 posts
2nd Jan '13

<blockquote><b>Quoting Mommeee™:</b>" I'm so sorry you are going through this. I really hope things work out for you two. I will be praying for your family. "</blockquote>




Thanks sweetie.

Walking in Memphis 3 kids; 2 angel babies; Macon, Georgia 5976 posts
status 2nd Jan '13

<blockquote><b>Quoting lolajessup:</b>" <blockquote><b>Quoting Jesus ♥'s Me:</b>" I'm so sorry that you're having to ... [snip!] ... I just feel we have no good memories together because our whole relationship is tainted with lies since the very beginning."</blockquote>




I'm sure there is a lot more to this then you've shared on here.. Have you guys has problems when it came down specifically to fb? Or all social media? Does he support you when you come to BG?



PLEASE DONT QUOTE::::



My husband and I have had HUGE trusts issues when it came to his addiction. Every time he would tell me that it was the last time and he promised me he wouldn't pop pills anymore.. Then my gut would tell me other wise so I would start searching the house.. Sure enough I would find pills everytime I listened to my gut. There were many times when I said I was done and no more but in reality I knew that when I said "for better or for worse" that I couldn't leave because I would be taking back the vow I made to him. It's not easy trusting him again and honestly I don't know when I will be able to.



PLEASE DON'T QUOTE

Mommeee™ 2 kids; Beverly Hills, CA, United States 5268 posts
3rd Jan '13
Quoting Walking in Memphis:"


I really hope he can seek some sort of help. I will pray for you both as well. I couldn't imagine having to go through that. If you ever need someone to talk too. I am here.

Walking in Memphis 3 kids; 2 angel babies; Macon, Georgia 5976 posts
status 3rd Jan '13

<blockquote><b>Quoting Mommeee™:</b>"



Thank you. When I initially found out I was devastated. I felt like I was watching myself in a movie or something because something like this couldn't happen to us! Or so I thought.. He's been clean 6 months now and I'm proud of him but when we do argue its something that I always manage to bring up and throw back in his face. It's something that I've said I've forgave him over but truly haven't been able to let go of yet.

homes cool Due August 1; 2 kids; 2 angel babies; Indiana 61627 posts
3rd Jan '13
Quoting lolajessup:" Ladies I'm falling apart and I don't know what to do anymore. SO lied to me again. I've been trying so ... [snip!] ... I want this to work but I just can't ever heal because it never stops. He always relapses. I dont know when enough is enough."


I am so sorry, hun. Perhaps God has you on bedrest, in the hospital, for "for a such a time as this" (as he did Esther.) Pour yourself into God's word, pray, sing songs or praise. Use this time to 100% dedicate yourself to HIM. Let him start to reveal your next step, to calm your heart, and to give you the peace and strength that only He can provide. That is what I would do.



I'm so sorry you are hurting. I'll go pray for you this morning before my kids wake up. <3