<blockquote><b>Quoting rachvande:</b>" Also I forgot to mention the father was adopted idk if that has anything to do with why he's abandoned ... [snip!] ... comments but I do appreciate honest opinions of what others have to say..thanks for any help/support in advance -rachelle"</blockquote>
Sweety if that is true you really need to contact them. I just looked it up and menstral weeks are 2 weeks ahead. Good luck with your decision
On new on here and don't know where a pm is?
<blockquote><b>Quoting rachvande:</b>" On new on here and don't know where a pm is?"</blockquote>
Click home and it should drop down with choices and one should say private messages
sounds to me like your number one problem is this guy
he's run you down and made you feel like total shit
unfortunately, being a woman, it's not as simple for you to put all this behind you
how about making a pact with yourself. get the abortion, and then never. ever. under any circumstances, for any reason EVER speak to him again..?
that way, one *good* thing will come of this.
it's true that I don't know you, but your post strikes me as someone with low self esteem. this guy is treating it you in a way that isn't right. i understand him not being ready for a child, but not abandoning you entirely!
anyway, that's a way to make one good thing come of it
<blockquote><b>Quoting regina_margot:</b>" sounds to me like your number one problem is this guy he's run you down and made you feel like total ... [snip!] ... him not being ready for a child, but not abandoning you entirely! anyway, that's a way to make one good thing come of it "</blockquote>
Basically yes he is one of many problems...it's also financial problems too..I owe almost 3 grand in restitution costs for something I did when I was 18 that im currently on probation for so I can get it expunged from my record when I finish paying it...also I got suckered into a bullshit vaccuum that's also just under 3gs that im stuck with having to pay for (yeah I know how stupid but I have to deal with it) and then I have about 800 dollars of fines I've accumulated over the years I need to pay off so I don't end up in jail...not to mention I have allllll this to pay for while working a min wage pt job at subway, no car, and no place of my own to live I've been bouncing around half a dozen places to live in the last year...I can't afford a place on my own and I don't have anyone I trust enough responsibility wise to live with everyone I know is just as financially unstable as myself most also have at least 1 child already..I know there's food share and Wic and all that to help but that can only last so long before you're cut off..then what?
Quoting rachvande:" <blockquote><b>Quoting regina_margot:</b>" sounds to me like your number one problem ... [snip!] ... know there's food share and Wic and all that to help but that can only last so long before you're cut off..then what?"
how old are you?
you sound young.
it's important to remember that no matter what, you still have every opportunity to make anything you want out of life :)
Im 22...and am already in debt up to my eyeballs but don't have any of the things I need to have a stable life..
Quoting rachvande:" Im 22...and am already in debt up to my eyeballs but don't have any of the things I need to have a stable life.."
eh, don't worry about the debt.
this is america. debt is our middle name ;)
I have no money to get these things that I need...I don't get things just handed to me and never have since I can remember...someday I will have all these things I need and can have the life I want but its not now..
I feel like you are trying to convince yourself to have an abortion, maybe that is why you are now 17+ wks pregnant and have not done it yet. Another question, would you decide to keep the baby if the father stuck around? You probably would, right? I have a friend, who at 21 was in a very similar situation as you. Everybody was telling her to abort the child, even her own parents and espeically the the baby's daddy, who was non-existent. She was barely making it at her job that paid her $9.50 an hour. Despite the odds being against her, she decided to keep the baby. The little girl is beautiful and is now 7 yrs old. She's smart, sweet and extremely articulate. I, personally have grown close to her. I have watched my friend struggle greatly, but the reward, her daughter, out weighed the risk, struggling. The father still sucks and is in and out of her life...however, regardless of what kind of father he is, my friend eventually found another man who takes a lot of the responsiblity her daughter's father didn't. Just remember you will always make mistakes, there will always be a stupid guy who screws you over...but you are responsible for how you react to these trials in life. There is not one day that goes by in my friend's head that makes her regret giving life to her daughter. With that being said, there may be a day in the future that you may/will regreat having an abortion. Please rememeber that everything happens for a reason. Even though something may appear to be bad....a lot of good can come out of it and change you for the better. It's your decision. However, sometimes we need to look past our circumstances.
I have a beautiful 2 year old daughter her father and I were together for 2 years we were a stable normal couple, we had a place of our own were Financially Secure, planing a wedding, all this shit. However he randomly left when my daughter was 1 month old and was Diagnosed with schizophrenia. I had to deal with bills, no income, sleepless nights, medical appointments everything on my own. My daughter is almost 2 I am 21. I never get a night to myself, I don't have friends, I don't have time to do anything besides raise a child. I am broke as f**k, my daughters father pays no child support and buys my child NOTHING and he is trying to get visitation and legal custody in court after not seeing her for over a year.
My simple carefree life is over and never coming back. I am always worrying about my daughter and how I will provide her with a good life.
I thought about adoption when I was pregnant, I was looking at couples and contacted an agency. My daughters father told me he wouldn't sigh off on it and he would take the child and raise her with the help of his mom. His input made me keep the child. I based my desision on what he wanted and now I am left with all of the resopsiblies, worry, and heart ach.
Moral of the story go with your gut no one can make this Decision but you. Do not let anyone try to Persuade you.
I love my daughter more than anything and I wouldn't trade her for the world but I will never forgive my daughters father for acting like raising the child was my only choice.
<blockquote><b>Quoting Had my 10/10/10 baby!:</b>" I have a beautiful 2 year old daughter her father and I were together for 2 years we were a stable normal ... [snip!] ... me keep the child. I based my desision on what he wanted and now I am left with all of the resopsiblies, worry, and heart ach"</blockquote>
That sounds like its so hard on you and that's what I don't want to happen to me too I feel like its in my best interest to avoid all that and do what I can to change it now before I can't turn back..