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Would you feel this way (custody?) SMBC**TTC#3 TTC since Jun 2013; 2 kids; California 17897 posts
28th Sep '12

So, I got full custody of my daughter because I wanted to be able to have no problem taking her if I got a job in another city. Her a*****e EXCUSE of a "father" never ever ever ever sees her. When we were together, he never helped. EVER. He took her two times and both times I had to drop her off, supply EVERYTHING, even the play yard and he saw her about 2 hours because the rest of the time she was sleeping... ANYWAY, I am very worried about the type of people he would have around her, his ability to care for her, and whatever psycho he may bring around. I just discovered that he is back in a relationship with the same psycho girl who lured him into cheating on me and leaving me. I read the messages she would send to him and it was all stuff like "don't tell me you can't see me because of 'the baby'" and stupid shit... OBVIOUSLY when she INTENTIONALLY wrecked our home, she didn't give a shit about my daughter's well being. Her actions throughout all of this make me very very VERY scared to have her anywhere near my daughter. I don't want to be that mother on the news who lost a child to neglect or poison or whatever.... I REALLY feel that could happen. I don't want to keep my daughter from her "father"... but I feel that even allowing him the option would harm her more...emotionally, psychologically, and possibly physically...ESPECIALLY with this psycho around.

MommyingWithGrace Beverly Hills, California 2427 posts
28th Sep '12

I dont have that problem with my oldest son's dad, but because in the last 7 yrs he hasnt shown me he is mature enough to care for himself and be able to care for my son...I havent allowed him around my son. Long story, so I will spare the details. Anyway, I think your child would be in a worse situation going with him than just not having a dad in her life at all.

SMBC**TTC#3 TTC since Jun 2013; 2 kids; California 17897 posts
28th Sep '12
Quoting MommyingWithGrace:" I dont have that problem with my oldest son's dad, but because in the last 7 yrs he hasnt shown me he ... [snip!] ... details. Anyway, I think your child would be in a worse situation going with him than just not having a dad in her life at all."


That's how I feel. His mom is a big part of her life. And she's a little manipulative as well.... I don't think she will take it well. he will PRETEND I'm keeping her from him but I'm not... however.... if he is having harmful people around her, I damn well will keep him away... he's bad enough already.

vagina. 3 kids; Titz, No, Germany 30921 posts
28th Sep '12

<blockquote><b>Quoting MommyingWithGrace:</b>" I dont have that problem with my oldest son's dad, but because in the last 7 yrs he hasnt shown me he ... [snip!] ... details. Anyway, I think your child would be in a worse situation going with him than just not having a dad in her life at all."</blockquote>




I don't think that last sentence is true.



:?




OP, if you feel like her LIFE is in danger around him..don't allow her around him.

vagina. 3 kids; Titz, No, Germany 30921 posts
28th Sep '12

I read that totally wrong. I'm sorry. I read that as "I think your child wouldn't be in a worse situation"

MommyingWithGrace Beverly Hills, California 2427 posts
28th Sep '12
Quoting Is that still my name?:" That's how I feel. His mom is a big part of her life. And she's a little manipulative as well.... I ... [snip!] ... I'm not... however.... if he is having harmful people around her, I damn well will keep him away... he's bad enough already."


When it comes to your child's well being, you have to put your foot down. If his mom tries to talk you into letting him see her, I would say "yeah, he can see her. He can come to visit her when she is with you, but he is not taking her overnight or alone at all. Period." If she oversteps boundaries...then unfortunately, you might have to cut her off til she can accept the rules you set in place.

vagina. 3 kids; Titz, No, Germany 30921 posts
28th Sep '12

<blockquote><b>Quoting MommyingWithGrace:</b>" When it comes to your child's well being, you have to put your foot down. If his mom tries to talk you ... [snip!] ... If she oversteps boundaries...then unfortunately, you might have to cut her off til she can accept the rules you set in place."</blockquote>




:!:

SMBC**TTC#3 TTC since Jun 2013; 2 kids; California 17897 posts
28th Sep '12
Quoting MommyingWithGrace:" When it comes to your child's well being, you have to put your foot down. If his mom tries to talk you ... [snip!] ... If she oversteps boundaries...then unfortunately, you might have to cut her off til she can accept the rules you set in place."


Yes exactly... in the custody order I said he can have supervised visitation with his mom. I don't want his mom to get upset, but she has been told lies by him about this entire situation. I think she is starting to get that. He never asks about her or asks to see her. The two times he saw her was after about a dozen times of canceling. I got to the point where I said "when am I dropping her off" just so she'd know who her dad was. But even at that he never spent time with her and I had to provide EVERYTHING> I'm in a slumpy place right now, being that I am unemployed and getting zero aid. But even with all his time and money he still says 'i'm a b***h" and that's what is keeping him from seeing her. In reality, it's because he is with a girl who hates the fact I had his baby. What a f**king pyscho... seriously.... to think I EVER called her my friend.

Mandy Payne Due September 10; Japan 2 posts
28th Sep '12

THATS IS EXACTLY WHAT IM GOING TO HAVE TO DO MY SON FATHER IS A DEAD BEAT MY SON NOT EVEN A TWO WEEKS OLD AND HE ALREADY ACTING LIKE MY SON DOSEN'T EXISTS !!! HE TAKES HES POOR EXCUSE OF A GIRLFREIND OR W.E YOU CALL HER OVER HIM ..SMH I CANT LET MY SON GO THREW THIS NOT AT ALL!!! BECAUSE I WANT THE BEST AND MY SON DESEVERS THE BEST BECAUSE HE DIDNT ASK TO BE HERE!!! THIS TIME IM GOING TO PUT MY FOOT DOWN!!!