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Katie ♥ Eli 1 child; California 2259 posts
1st Oct '12

<blockquote><b>Quoting Becky☮Will:</b>" If you want to stay with DH then you should tell him and not continue anything. If you want to be with ... [snip!] ... affair until you do leave him. Just because you're not in love with him anymore doesnt mean its fair to be cheating on him."</blockquote>




My thoughts exactly.

Pey and Trista's mommy 2 kids; 2 angel babies; Houston, Texas 42502 posts
1st Oct '12

First I think you need to be honest with yourself. You pretty much know if you love you DH. Next just be honest with him. Also ask your self if you want to be with someone who could potentially hurt someone who has known the other person that long!

Bad Things 1 child; Blacksburg, SC, United States 15782 posts
status 1st Oct '12

I don't think Mr. X is the right one for you. He gives me the feeling of just a ma going through a mid-life crisis and is looking for excitement. Once the honeymoon phase is over, you will be miserable again.



If you don't love your DH anymore, you need to have a divorce. I, personally, wouldnt say anything about the affair. I still wouldnt go straight to Mr. X though.

Mommy of a giggler! 2 kids; Edmonton, Alberta 9017 posts
1st Oct '12

I don't think you need to tell your DH who you did it with, but you do need to tell him your cheated and go from there.

Emily Thorne 2 kids; Quetzaltenango, Guatemala 26302 posts
1st Oct '12

Tell him the truth. If your DH has ever been violent then leave him and explain over the phone if possible. If he is not violent then you need to tell him the truth, apologize for the hurt and betrayal and leave. Even if you decide to come back later, you need to take a break from your DH.



My honest advice would be to remain single for awhile until you figure out what you want.... being in an emotionless marriage you are now on the rebound.



I'm sorry you are going through this...

kr.r 1 child; Dallas, TX, United States 8735 posts
1st Oct '12
Quoting .Colleen.:" I think you should be truthful to your husband, rather than continuing an affair in the hopes that this guy is going to be your sugar daddy."


:!::!:



Kissing on occasion, having sex once, talking about lavish vacations doesn't really sound all that concrete. I'd have my doubts, what with the affair being so new.

Just Ames 2 kids; 1 angel baby; Montego Bay, Jamaica 114793 posts
1st Oct '12

OK, lets be realistic for a minute.



I don't know how old you are or whether or not you want more kids but he is 24 years your senior. Do you really think he wants to be a family man and essentially start all over again? Is telling your secret worth ruining all of the lives that are involved?



Think with your head, not with your feelings of infatuation. Honestly this doesn't even seem like it would work out in the long run. There are so many things to consider here and I hope you choose wisely.



Also, if you are out of love or whatever with your Husband flippin leave him REGARDLESS of what you decide with the old man.

Kylees Mama 1 child; Faribault, Minnesota 4193 posts
1st Oct '12

To those who are saying they wouldn't tell him, why not? I understand not saying with who, although he may find out himself, but why not tell the truth?

Pey and Trista's mommy 2 kids; 2 angel babies; Houston, Texas 42502 posts
1st Oct '12

<blockquote><b>Quoting kr.r:</b>" :!::!: Kissing on occasion, having sex once, talking about lavish vacations doesn't really sound all that concrete. I'd have my doubts, what with the affair being so new."</blockquote>




This!



I seriously couldn't trust a man that hurts someone he had known since he was a baby.

kr.r 1 child; Dallas, TX, United States 8735 posts
1st Oct '12
Quoting Kylees Mama:" To those who are saying they wouldn't tell him, why not? I understand not saying with who, although he may find out himself, but why not tell the truth?"


:!::?:

NewMommyXOXO 1 child; South Carolina 1183 posts
1st Oct '12

<blockquote><b>Quoting JiLLiAN.:</b>" If your husband has no affection toward you, it can make you feel lonely and like you aren't in love. ... [snip!] ... you those things does not mean they will be true. He is going through a hard time as well and is looking for a shoulder."</blockquote>



This!!

☮Sugar Magnolia 1 child; Indiana 18293 posts
1st Oct '12
Quoting BαƚMαɳ:" Listen to your heart. Figure out if you love him or not. If not, leave. I personally don't think that ... [snip!] ... the cheating if you don't want to be with him. But if you plan on staying with him I would definitely be honest and upfront."


This. If you really have no hope for your marriage, and you don't love him, why hurt him and tell him?



I think it's pretty fucked up that it's your FIL's best friend, though. I guess if you're going to continue the relationship, you're going to have to tell him about the cheating.



Don't continue a quiet affair. That's shitty, disrespectful, immature, and just plain wrong. Be a big girl about it.
Good luck.

Bad Things 1 child; Blacksburg, SC, United States 15782 posts
status 1st Oct '12
Quoting Kylees Mama:" To those who are saying they wouldn't tell him, why not? I understand not saying with who, although he may find out himself, but why not tell the truth?"


Because I would not want to know if SO did that to me. I just couldnt handle it. I would rather he just leave than to know our whole relationship wasnt taken seriously and the betrayal. That is the worse kind of hurt to me. I would rather them just leave.

Emily Thorne 2 kids; Quetzaltenango, Guatemala 26302 posts
1st Oct '12
Quoting Kylees Mama:" To those who are saying they wouldn't tell him, why not? I understand not saying with who, although he may find out himself, but why not tell the truth?"


There are two reasons people decide not to tell:



It causes un-needed pain for the person. Why does he have to know if it's just going to hurt him?



It's hard to do. It's embarrassing and hard. It's easier to just not tell.

EskimoKiss TTC since Apr 2014; 1 child; Texas 11221 posts
1st Oct '12
Quoting BαƚMαɳ:" Listen to your heart. Figure out if you love him or not. If not, leave. I personally don't think that ... [snip!] ... the cheating if you don't want to be with him. But if you plan on staying with him I would definitely be honest and upfront."



!!!!