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Katie ♥ Eli 1 child; California 2259 posts
1st Oct '12

<blockquote><b>Quoting Becky☮Will:</b>" If you want to stay with DH then you should tell him and not continue anything. If you want to be with ... [snip!] ... affair until you do leave him. Just because you're not in love with him anymore doesnt mean its fair to be cheating on him."</blockquote>




My thoughts exactly.

Pey and Trista's mommy Due January 5; 2 kids; 2 angel babies; Houston, Texas 42503 posts
1st Oct '12

First I think you need to be honest with yourself. You pretty much know if you love you DH. Next just be honest with him. Also ask your self if you want to be with someone who could potentially hurt someone who has known the other person that long!

Bad Things 1 child; Blacksburg, SC, United States 17223 posts
1st Oct '12

I don't think Mr. X is the right one for you. He gives me the feeling of just a ma going through a mid-life crisis and is looking for excitement. Once the honeymoon phase is over, you will be miserable again.



If you don't love your DH anymore, you need to have a divorce. I, personally, wouldnt say anything about the affair. I still wouldnt go straight to Mr. X though.

Mommy of a giggler! 2 kids; Edmonton, Alberta 9017 posts
1st Oct '12

I don't think you need to tell your DH who you did it with, but you do need to tell him your cheated and go from there.

kr.r 1 child; Dallas, TX, United States 8737 posts
1st Oct '12
Quoting .Colleen.:" I think you should be truthful to your husband, rather than continuing an affair in the hopes that this guy is going to be your sugar daddy."


:!::!:



Kissing on occasion, having sex once, talking about lavish vacations doesn't really sound all that concrete. I'd have my doubts, what with the affair being so new.

Kylees Mama 1 child; Faribault, Minnesota 4193 posts
1st Oct '12

To those who are saying they wouldn't tell him, why not? I understand not saying with who, although he may find out himself, but why not tell the truth?

Pey and Trista's mommy Due January 5; 2 kids; 2 angel babies; Houston, Texas 42503 posts
1st Oct '12

<blockquote><b>Quoting kr.r:</b>" :!::!: Kissing on occasion, having sex once, talking about lavish vacations doesn't really sound all that concrete. I'd have my doubts, what with the affair being so new."</blockquote>




This!



I seriously couldn't trust a man that hurts someone he had known since he was a baby.

kr.r 1 child; Dallas, TX, United States 8737 posts
1st Oct '12
Quoting Kylees Mama:" To those who are saying they wouldn't tell him, why not? I understand not saying with who, although he may find out himself, but why not tell the truth?"


:!::?:

NewMommyXOXO 1 child; South Carolina 1183 posts
1st Oct '12

<blockquote><b>Quoting JiLLiAN.:</b>" If your husband has no affection toward you, it can make you feel lonely and like you aren't in love. ... [snip!] ... you those things does not mean they will be true. He is going through a hard time as well and is looking for a shoulder."</blockquote>



This!!

☮Sugar Magnolia 1 child; Indiana 18298 posts
1st Oct '12
Quoting BαƚMαɳ:" Listen to your heart. Figure out if you love him or not. If not, leave. I personally don't think that ... [snip!] ... the cheating if you don't want to be with him. But if you plan on staying with him I would definitely be honest and upfront."


This. If you really have no hope for your marriage, and you don't love him, why hurt him and tell him?



I think it's pretty fucked up that it's your FIL's best friend, though. I guess if you're going to continue the relationship, you're going to have to tell him about the cheating.



Don't continue a quiet affair. That's shitty, disrespectful, immature, and just plain wrong. Be a big girl about it.
Good luck.

Bad Things 1 child; Blacksburg, SC, United States 17223 posts
1st Oct '12
Quoting Kylees Mama:" To those who are saying they wouldn't tell him, why not? I understand not saying with who, although he may find out himself, but why not tell the truth?"


Because I would not want to know if SO did that to me. I just couldnt handle it. I would rather he just leave than to know our whole relationship wasnt taken seriously and the betrayal. That is the worse kind of hurt to me. I would rather them just leave.

EskimoKiss TTC since Apr 2014; 1 child; Texas 11221 posts
1st Oct '12
Quoting BαƚMαɳ:" Listen to your heart. Figure out if you love him or not. If not, leave. I personally don't think that ... [snip!] ... the cheating if you don't want to be with him. But if you plan on staying with him I would definitely be honest and upfront."



!!!!

GrumpsMama 1 child; Whiskey Dick Mountain, WA, United States 16074 posts
1st Oct '12
Quoting Kylees Mama:" To those who are saying they wouldn't tell him, why not? I understand not saying with who, although he may find out himself, but why not tell the truth?"


I know I would tell the truth. But, then again..SO and I have a really odd relationship. He would probably be fine with it.

BG Secrets Arizona 4906 posts
1st Oct '12

I think the only reason I have stayed with DH for this long is because I like being an army wife and not necessarily his wife. X has a thing for younger women, I know this. I have a thing for older men in positions of power.



I have to admit, last night was the happiest I have been in years. I do like X. I also loved the adrenaline rush and as bad as it sounds, sleeping with a married man. There is a certain rush and I've done it before, when I was 18. I like the secrecy and the chance of being caught. I like the danger involved.



I think I will tell DH tonight that I can't do it anymore, but I don't think I will ever tell him who I slept with. I will probably end up staying with a friend until I can figure things out, but I don't think I can be with DH anymore.

kr.r 1 child; Dallas, TX, United States 8737 posts
1st Oct '12

People are weak and ignorance is bliss. They like to fill their heads with fake fluff instead of confronting the actual problem.



In situations regarding a spouse, or someone you have committed to remain loyal to, I firmly believe the truth is owed to that person.