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JΔS Georgia 70894 posts
2nd Oct '12
Quoting Rumpelstiltskin:" YEah, I'm typing slow today,.... I did read it after I posted my last post. Well, OP has to decide ... [snip!] ... a relationship with his kid, though, he needs to pay CS and have freedom to take pictures. If not, don't let the kid go..... "


She got sole custody for a reason and he has no visitation. Court order or not, he cannot be walking in and out of this kid's life. That is psychologically damaging and its not right. If he wants to be in his child's life, permanently, he needs to prove it to OP and her son. OP is the mother here and whether you or anyone else agree, she rightfully has the upper hand.

JΔS Georgia 70894 posts
2nd Oct '12
Quoting BoogerBear's Momma:" Again, that isnt any of your business how their relationship is. "


You think someone who cheats on their girlfriend constantly is an actual serious relationship, one that she should be considered family? You are a nut.

Tash+1 1 child; Canton, Ohio 7839 posts
2nd Oct '12
Quoting BoogerBear's Momma:" I said future step children...even if they didnt get married. You don't have to be married to be a family. ... [snip!] ... to be married to be a family. If I were to date anyone, they better be treating my child like their own. Married or not. "


They wouldnt be step children unles she married the guy for one.
And for too, yes you can be a family w/o being married, but cheating on your GF and having been together only a year does not a family make.

Emily Thorne 2 kids; Quetzaltenango, Guatemala 26302 posts
2nd Oct '12
Quoting Jas ♥:" She got sole custody for a reason and he has no visitation. Court order or not, he cannot be walking ... [snip!] ... to prove it to OP and her son. OP is the mother here and whether you or anyone else agree, she rightfully has the upper hand."


She shouldn't let the kid even go to visit him since he obviously doesn't want to be a dad except for when it's fun.



But if she does decide to let him go, then she should give him some freedoms (I'm not saying take the kid to China on vacation or anything).... it's just an opinion.

Bad Things 1 child; Blacksburg, SC, United States 15788 posts
2nd Oct '12
Quoting Jas ♥:" You think someone who cheats on their girlfriend constantly is an actual serious relationship, one that she should be considered family? You are a nut."


It doesnt matter if he cheats. If they want to be together, it is none of the mother of child's business what they consider their family.



Also, I don't know why you have to constantly throw in a name, but it makes you look severely juvenile.

JΔS Georgia 70894 posts
2nd Oct '12
Quoting Rumpelstiltskin:" She shouldn't let the kid even go to visit him since he obviously doesn't want to be a dad except for ... [snip!] ... she should give him some freedoms (I'm not saying take the kid to China on vacation or anything).... it's just an opinion. "


It seems like she's trying to give her douchebag BD a chance. If she didn't let him see him, you all would still have something smart to say. So either way, it wouldn't matter. He has proven that he's a shit father so nope. If he wants to do something that involves their son, he needs to run it by her first.

JΔS Georgia 70894 posts
2nd Oct '12
Quoting BoogerBear's Momma:" It doesnt matter if he cheats. If they want to be together, it is none of the mother of child's business ... [snip!] ... their family. Also, I don't know why you have to constantly throw in a name, but it makes you look severely juvenile. "


You're one to talk. Really.



and your brain must be mooshier than usual today because I don't see how anyone could think that a dysfunctional 1 year relationship could make someone family and a MOTHER FIGURE to someone's son.

Mommy2Kay 1 child; Florida 4211 posts
2nd Oct '12
Quoting BoogerBear's Momma:" So you wouldnt consider your future step child family? "


Of course, I just wouldn't want to disrespect the child's mother if we weren't married. BD and I took pics with our son but we didn't include his other son because his mom didn't want to. Idk why he doesn't think it would be the same now.

You and me + 4 4 kids; 1 angel baby; Philadelphia, Pennsylvania 4113 posts
2nd Oct '12

My SO and i have been together for a year and a half. He had his cheating phase in the beginning but we got past that and my daughter calls him dad bc hes the only father figure that she knows. I consider us a family, we arent married and have a child on the way in December. His bm on the other hand tells ppl hes a bad dad and puts me before his kids and he doesnt do anything which is far from the truth. BMs stretch the truth a lot when its not something they want done. Ive experienced this first hand.

Emily Thorne 2 kids; Quetzaltenango, Guatemala 26302 posts
2nd Oct '12
Quoting Jas ♥:" It seems like she's trying to give her douchebag BD a chance. If she didn't let him see him, you all ... [snip!] ... proven that he's a shit father so nope. If he wants to do something that involves their son, he needs to run it by her first."


Actually no, I don't let my ex see my Spawn... ever. I understand picking good role models for your kids.



But, I just feel that if she wants to give him a chance, something small like a picture isn't going to hurt...

Bad Things 1 child; Blacksburg, SC, United States 15788 posts
2nd Oct '12
Quoting Chelsea Dawns Mama:" They wouldnt be step children unles she married the guy for one. And for too, yes you can be a family ... [snip!] ... you can be a family w/o being married, but cheating on your GF and having been together only a year does not a family make. "


Family by definition is a fundamental social group in society typically consisting of one or two parents and their children.



Your idea of a family differs with how someone else sees it. It is not up to the ex to say whether their family is legit.

Tash+1 1 child; Canton, Ohio 7839 posts
2nd Oct '12
Quoting BoogerBear's Momma:" Family by definition is a fundamental social group in society typically consisting of one or two parents ... [snip!] ... Your idea of a family differs with how someone else sees it. It is not up to the ex to say whether their family is legit. "


Two parents and their CHILDREN. They have NO children together, and from the sounds of it, she has no kids, so she isnt a parent. SO in your view, they arent a family either.

Bad Things 1 child; Blacksburg, SC, United States 15788 posts
2nd Oct '12
Quoting Jas ♥:" You're one to talk. Really. and your brain must be mooshier than usual today because I don't see how ... [snip!] ... how anyone could think that a dysfunctional 1 year relationship could make someone family and a MOTHER FIGURE to someone's son."


It's not up to anyone to decide whether their relationship has issues or not. It is just a picture. It isnt going up in YOUR house.

You and me + 4 4 kids; 1 angel baby; Philadelphia, Pennsylvania 4113 posts
2nd Oct '12

His "kids" have spent the night at my house. I have fed them. Treated them as my own and braided his daughters hair a couple times. I loved his kids but then the BM got mad and told my SOs mother i threatened the kids and how i didnt like them and they stopped being able to come around me.

Bad Things 1 child; Blacksburg, SC, United States 15788 posts
2nd Oct '12
Quoting Chelsea Dawns Mama:" Two parents and their CHILDREN. They have NO children together, and from the sounds of it, she has no kids, so she isnt a parent. SO in your view, they arent a family either."


one or two parents....



When that little boy is staying over with him, that is his family. He also must be fond of his current girlfriend, or he wouldnt want to spend money getting pictures and including her in them. They work together in the same household, problems or not.