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Devil Duckie 3 kids; New York 48700 posts
2nd Oct '12

quiet honestly, if My husband and I were to get a divorce and he move on with another woman, Unless they were married, I would refuse to let my children be in a formal picture with her. Unless they were marries, I wouldn't acknowledge her as family. If they were to split, it would add more confusion to my kids. Maybe I'm weird, but I wouldn't let it happen.

Devil Duckie 3 kids; New York 48700 posts
2nd Oct '12
Quoting Rumpelstiltskin:" Married or would living together work? This doesn't have anything to do with OP, more me! haha... I ... [snip!] ... I don't care if we never get married, we are committed... KWIM? SO, thankfully doesn't have any BMs or other kids out there! "


well, if he did, you would have to consider the child's mother's wishes. Since you would not even technically be their step mother.



I put myself in that situation. If my husband were my ex and he had another companion, It wouldn't matter if they were living together or not. No marriage license, no rights IMO. I would find it highly disrespectful if they took "family" pictures with MY kids. She's just daddy's current toy the way I see it.

Mommy2Kay Due April 20; 1 child; Florida 4247 posts
2nd Oct '12

They live together but honestly, that doesn't make it more of a commitment, he has live with 4 different women.



Edited to add: It has been 5 could be more...lol

Mommy2Kay Due April 20; 1 child; Florida 4247 posts
2nd Oct '12
Quoting Rumpelstiltskin:" Yeah, my ex used to leave Spawn with his "main" girlfriend while he was off screwing another. I know ... [snip!] ... slept in bosses office at work sometimes (and has no clue why he got fired:roll: )... I'm soooo glad he is out of our lives! "


I just sent him a text saying that I hope he doesn't do anything that I don't agree on while he has DS. The other day I threatened him with not seeing DS when we go if he didn't send me half of his flight. Within a couple of days I had the money. It was serious the first time he had ever done that! Then he came last week and bought him clothes, I really thought we were progressing, moving to a better place. But this is a cycle, he acts great then all of a sudden it goes down hill.

FroggysMommy 1 child; Golden, Colorado 27791 posts
2nd Oct '12
Quoting Mommy2Kay:" Exactly what he does! I let him do that because I rather my son know his dad. I would never take a picture ... [snip!] ... never take a picture with a guy saying we're family unless we were taking family pics with our own child or we were married."


I don't think someone needs to be married or have kids to be a family. I take pictures with my SO's son, and we certainly aren't married and will never have kids together. We are a family though. I'd laugh at Wesley's mom if she got pissed about a picture... seriously, it's a freaking picture.

FroggysMommy 1 child; Golden, Colorado 27791 posts
2nd Oct '12
Quoting BoogerBear's Momma:" I said future step children...even if they didnt get married. You don't have to be married to be a family. ... [snip!] ... to be married to be a family. If I were to date anyone, they better be treating my child like their own. Married or not. "


This. Seriously.

Mommy2Kay Due April 20; 1 child; Florida 4247 posts
2nd Oct '12
Quoting Rumpelstiltskin:" I'm curious, could this girl be the one setting him straight? I mean, if you ask a lot of BG moms they'll tell you that if their SOs had kids they would make sure they paid/visited/stepped-up/etc. "


I doubt it, he has actually gotten worse in his personal life. He has bought him clothes but it has only happen a few times (I can count with one hand). Everything is always a roller coaster with him, he is bipolar.

Mommy2Kay Due April 20; 1 child; Florida 4247 posts
2nd Oct '12
Quoting FroggysMommy:" I don't think someone needs to be married or have kids to be a family. I take pictures with my SO's ... [snip!] ... We are a family though. I'd laugh at Wesley's mom if she got pissed about a picture... seriously, it's a freaking picture."


Regular pics aren't really a big deal to me, profession "family" pictures are. These pictures are hung up on the wall in his mom's house, it's a tradition. Since, it means so much and he has yet to prove that things are different with her, I will keep putting my foot down.

Bad Things 1 child; Blacksburg, SC, United States 18508 posts
2nd Oct '12
Quoting Mommy2Kay:" Regular pics aren't really a big deal to me, profession "family" pictures are. These pictures are hung ... [snip!] ... Since, it means so much and he has yet to prove that things are different with her, I will keep putting my foot down. "


Are you mad because she is in the picture, or mad that you arent?

FroggysMommy 1 child; Golden, Colorado 27791 posts
2nd Oct '12
Quoting BoogerBear's Momma:" Are you mad because she is in the picture, or mad that you arent?"


That's what I'm thinking.... that the answer is the latter.

Mommy2Kay Due April 20; 1 child; Florida 4247 posts
2nd Oct '12
Quoting BoogerBear's Momma:" Are you mad because she is in the picture, or mad that you arent?"


I'm mad at her being in the picture. I'm disgusted that he would do this knowing I wouldn't agree and find it disrespectful.

Bad Things 1 child; Blacksburg, SC, United States 18508 posts
2nd Oct '12
Quoting Mommy2Kay:" I'm mad at her being in the picture. I'm disgusted that he would do this knowing I wouldn't agree and find it disrespectful."


So..just wondering...when would she be able to take professional pictures with your LO included?

Mommy2Kay Due April 20; 1 child; Florida 4247 posts
2nd Oct '12
Quoting BoogerBear's Momma:" So..just wondering...when would she be able to take professional pictures with your LO included? "


When they married or have a child together. I think that if I get married or I am having a child with someone else I would want my son included, before that there is no need.

Bad Things 1 child; Blacksburg, SC, United States 18508 posts
2nd Oct '12
Quoting Mommy2Kay:" When they married or have a child together. I think that if I get married or I am having a child with someone else I would want my son included, before that there is no need."


So she can only love your child as family if she gets knocked up or get married?

Mommy2Kay Due April 20; 1 child; Florida 4247 posts
2nd Oct '12
Quoting BoogerBear's Momma:" So she can only love your child as family if she gets knocked up or get married? "


Did you not get that they don't have a relationship? We live in FL, they live in NY. My son barely knows her, she is not family to him. My BD's other son called me Titi (aunt) and was VERY attached to me, we still didn't include him in our family pics...BD should know better.