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SMBC**TTC#3 TTC since Jun 2013; 2 kids; California 17897 posts
9th Oct '12
Quoting Katie♥'sherHippo:" He wants to be paying his CS (so he says and I'm inclined to believe him) he just moved where there ... [snip!] ... moved where there isn't any work and he wasn't making enough money to get to the job he had plus CS and rent etc. so he quit."


That sounds like a deadbeat to me... the logic in that situation makes no sense at all. If he WANTED to be paying it, he would not have quit. And he probably wants to rush marriage so that you will both be liable for it... trust me, I've dealt with many a douche in my day.

--K-- 2 kids; Romania 3189 posts
9th Oct '12
Quoting Is that still my name?:" That sounds like a deadbeat to me... the logic in that situation makes no sense at all. If he WANTED ... [snip!] ... he probably wants to rush marriage so that you will both be liable for it... trust me, I've dealt with many a douche in my day."


-shrug- perhaps.
He's better than my son's dad though so I don't see him like that.



I'm perfectly fine waiting to get married though and if he seriously can't then we'll have a problem lol.

SMBC**TTC#3 TTC since Jun 2013; 2 kids; California 17897 posts
9th Oct '12
Quoting Katie♥'sherHippo:" -shrug- perhaps. He's better than my son's dad though so I don't see him like that. I'm perfectly fine waiting to get married though and if he seriously can't then we'll have a problem lol."


Well you shouldn't be with him just because he is the next best option. However, if I were in your shoes, I'd wait until he actually enlisted.

--K-- 2 kids; Romania 3189 posts
9th Oct '12
Quoting Is that still my name?:" Well you shouldn't be with him just because he is the next best option. However, if I were in your shoes, I'd wait until he actually enlisted. "


That's not the only reason I"m with him, I didn't mean for it to come off like that.



That's probably what I'm going to do.

snglemama 4 kids; Georgia 11953 posts
9th Oct '12
Quoting Is that still my name?:" They've just changed their practices so unemployment counts dollar for dollar. So if you two get married, ... [snip!] ... from taking advantage of it, but people like me who are out of work because the jobs just aren't there are suffering.... "


? why on earth shouldn't it count? it's money?

OP... why isn't he getting unemployment? and of course anythign he earns will count against your welfare. Even if you aren't married, but living together you're legally supposed to count the income of all adults over the age of 18 living in the home.

snglemama 4 kids; Georgia 11953 posts
9th Oct '12
Quoting Katie♥'sherHippo:" He's not getting unemployment. But if that's the case then he's gonna have to wait to get married lol. ... [snip!] ... on going off welfare as soon as he's done with training or however that goes but until then I can't be paying his CS so yeah."


you;d never be obligated to pay his child support.

snglemama 4 kids; Georgia 11953 posts
9th Oct '12
Quoting Katie♥'sherHippo:" He wants to be paying his CS (so he says and I'm inclined to believe him) he just moved where there ... [snip!] ... moved where there isn't any work and he wasn't making enough money to get to the job he had plus CS and rent etc. so he quit."


sounds like a winner.

no... if my child needed something.. I'd do anything to provide for them.. even if it meant working multiple jobs. Quitting because it's not worth it.. nto an option for parents.

if he quit his job, he'll still be responsible for paying the child support..as he should be. The child needs to eat, be clothed etc, regardless of his choices

SMBC**TTC#3 TTC since Jun 2013; 2 kids; California 17897 posts
9th Oct '12
Quoting Katie♥'sherHippo:" That's not the only reason I"m with him, I didn't mean for it to come off like that. That's probably what I'm going to do."



Then it sounds like you're a smart girl. Obviously everything can't be said or known in a forum. And if he's trying to get on track, then I would want to support that... Just make sure your not sacrificing yourself in the mean time, and it sounds like you are not.

SMBC**TTC#3 TTC since Jun 2013; 2 kids; California 17897 posts
9th Oct '12
Quoting snglemama:" sounds like a winner. no... if my child needed something.. I'd do anything to provide for them.. ... [snip!] ... be responsible for paying the child support..as he should be. The child needs to eat, be clothed etc, regardless of his choices"


:!::!::!:

SMBC**TTC#3 TTC since Jun 2013; 2 kids; California 17897 posts
9th Oct '12
Quoting snglemama:" ? why on earth shouldn't it count? it's money? OP... why isn't he getting unemployment? and of ... [snip!] ... married, but living together you're legally supposed to count the income of all adults over the age of 18 living in the home."


Why on earth does the gov't do anything it does? I have no idea. And when I had my son, I went on unemployment because my job was no longer there because of the economy (FMLA and CA disability do not align). I was still $200 below poverty level and only qualified for $12 in foodstamps. NOW I make $500 LESS than I was then ( I make $800 a month) and dipshit got fired so I don't even get the excuse of child support I was getting... I can't get anything, nothing because I am on unemployment. My rent is $745... I just pray every month my financial aid comes and that my family is still willing and able to help me in the mean time. It SUCKS being needy. I'm used to giving.

snglemama 4 kids; Georgia 11953 posts
9th Oct '12
Quoting Is that still my name?:" Why on earth does the gov't do anything it does? I have no idea. And when I had my son, I went on unemployment ... [snip!] ... aid comes and that my family is still willing and able to help me in the mean time. It SUCKS being needy. I'm used to giving."


that sucks.

but, if you get unemployment that's still soemthing right? I thought it was one or the other anyway?

SMBC**TTC#3 TTC since Jun 2013; 2 kids; California 17897 posts
9th Oct '12
Quoting snglemama:" that sucks. but, if you get unemployment that's still soemthing right? I thought it was one or the other anyway?"



Well, optomistically, yes.. but unemployment is not a CHOICE I made an Aid should be treated the same way, but neither always is. I AM bettering myself. I hav a GREAT resume. I interview VERY well.. I've been looking for 3 years and lowered my standards to any job I can get practically... It's just where I live... it is so screwed up here.

J ♡ N + 1 2 kids; Kill Devil Hills, North Carolina 1159 posts
9th Oct '12

Kind of off topic but how do you get welfare without working? Lol Here you can only get welfare if you work 40+ hours or volunteer 40+ hours of community service.

--K-- 2 kids; Romania 3189 posts
9th Oct '12
Quoting J ♡ N:" Kind of off topic but how do you get welfare without working? Lol Here you can only get welfare if you work 40+ hours or volunteer 40+ hours of community service."


I'm a full time student, it counts as if I was working.
There is a name for it but I can't remember right now. Its too late for me to be awake but I can't sleep.

--K-- 2 kids; Romania 3189 posts
9th Oct '12
Quoting snglemama:" sounds like a winner. no... if my child needed something.. I'd do anything to provide for them.. ... [snip!] ... be responsible for paying the child support..as he should be. The child needs to eat, be clothed etc, regardless of his choices"


I never said I liked his decision lol.
Nor that I don't want him to pay CS.



I just don't want to be the one paying it because I have my own child to take care of.



Sorry if I read what you said wrong. I'm really tired >_<