Hi, a little background info: i'm 18, 13 weeks pregnant(first one) and recently married, & i live on my own.
my parents support my pregnancy as of now, my mom did think that i should reconsider at first, and kept drilling into my head that all my hopes and dreams for the future would be gone, but i was sure that i wasn't going to give up this baby for anything. my husband agreed in the beginning, but as more and more time goes on, he keeps talking to me about how i'm going nowhere in my life. I'm not working right now, and he makes me feel like i'm a piece of crap and i'm really starting to believe it. i mean..i plan on going to college when the baby is born, but he thinks im just "saying" that, like for most teen moms, they dont go or something? (which i know is crap but he thinks so)unfortunately, i moved to san diego from north cal. so i wont be getting any help from my parents, and it's really starting to scare me that i'm going to go nowhere or i have nothing to offer since i'm pregnant. i know im going to be a wonderful mother and thats a blessing&full-time job on it's own, but i do still want to continue going to school and have a career.
basically what i'm trying to ask and vent, is..how hard was it for any of you to go to school,work and have a baby? i just really need some advice in how in he hell i'm going to be able to do this!
I can't give you advice on that because I don't have my baby yet.
But I'd just like to say that your husband doesn't sound like a very nice man..
haha he is and he isn't. he just thinks just because he has his whole life figured out at age 19, everyone else in the world should, and if not..they're "lost" or have "no direction". i usually ignore it most of the time, but since i'm more sensitive than usual now,it's a alottttt harder.
Quoting Monkyn&Coco'sMama (HippyB:
my only advice I can give you is that you have to take things one step at a time and not over load your self.. I guess you can say thats two.. I started my medical assisting class when my son was around 9 months old and got pregnant with my second when he was 11 months old. it was hard but manageable.. now its even harder but I still manage to do it.. homework and all.. mind you im not working yet but taking care of two kids is work enough while going to school. i wish you the best of luck!
I am just starting full tine college this summer, and I am a little worried. I am actually doing over full time because I want to get it done faster. Luckily, I have family around to help. It can be done though, I talked to a lady on her a week or so ago that got her masters degree having 2 kids and working. So it can be done!!
Just make sure to schedule your time and definatly get a day planner! lol.
I do all of those things. It soubnds like your husband is extremely discouraging. The last thing you need is him telling yuo you're not going to do something, he should be more encouraging, especially since this baby will be HIS responsibility as well.
Anyways, if I were you, I'd consider part-time sschooling, and part-time work. That is what I do. Although, I do live with my parents and my mom is my son's child care provider when I am at work / school, So I do have that easy. And who knows, maybe your husband can push school backa little bit, wait a while, so he can watch the baby while you take night classes or something ?
It may sound beyond overwhelming right now, but I promise, you will get things figured out.
it is definitely doable. i had my daughter when i was a junior in undergrad school. i was forced to quit my full time job though b/c of hyperemesis which basically just meant i had extreme morning sickness constantly. my husband (b/f at the time) was still in high school (i know he's young). but he got a job and paid for all of my bills and stuff. i was able to take 6 weeks off of school but that was mainly b/c i go to a private college and i worked things out with my professors before the semesters started and did extra assignments and stuff.
im doing corraspondence.. ill be doing it throught the summer and some next year. in the fall i will catch me up and i will get my diploma. i dropped out this year even though i wasnt legally 'allowed' to ... but before i got pregnant my life WAS NOT on track.. school was shitty.. i never went i just partied and that was it... once i got pregnant i freaked and decided i needed to get some school work .. so i applied for idependant learning courses.. or ILC... which is corraspondence.. they are booklets you complete and they will give you the same marks and credits as if you were sitting in class.. but since that wont be practical with a baby this would be becuase you can work on it anytime when the babies napping.. etc. i suggest you look into it and see if they offer something in your area like this.. go to a local highschool or an office (ILC) and ask for some forms fill them out and send them in.. if you look around online they will have online course ones aswell.. the one im on is www.ilc.org. but i think its only for canadians.. check it out though doesnt hurt!
im planning on going to collgege in 2-3 years.. and going for journailism.. and if i choose not to go to college i still have my diploma wich will help me pick up a way better job then macdonalds. im also considering taking up a trade such as welding. get paid 35 bucks an hour working 12 hour days garunteed money.. where as college you can go for 3 years having to work a micky D's job n the side comming home looking after a baby and then once college is over maybe not even finding a job in your field so your stuck at subway making lawyers sandwhichs!! ...
just becuase werre teens doesnt mean we wont make it somehow and someway.. especially with suport.
you need to tell your husband to stepofF! ... i dont have a job either and my boyfriend isnt on my back about it.. hell i dont even cook or CLEAN all the time. and he doesnt care he will do it himself or ask me for help if he needs it.. no one in my house has set requrements.. me and my boyfriend work together. and we only have his income (right noW).. im looking for a small job i can do to get some extra money..
tell your man to step down!
It is going to be tuff... I am going to be starting my second year of college this fall... I lucked out and should be having my baby during christmas break... so during the fall I still plan on going to college... and after I have the baby I am planning on taking all online classes so that my boyfriend and I dont have to spend money on a daycare for the first seven months. You will do fine. Just research different options for college like the online classes and such. It will be hard but it will be worth it in the end. My dad told me straight up that he doesnt think that I will finish college now that Im pregnant... My new goal is to prove him and everyone else wrong. Just think positive.... they will come around once they see you trying.
Well honey at least you have a husband by your side. Hopefully he'll stop the mental abuse once he actually see's an image of the child and it becomes more real. I'm actually 21, I had my son at 20. I have no family what so ever here with me, and my son's father isn't much help at all. Right now I'm expecting my second child from a different man who lives in a different city, things didn't work out between us, so I returned to where my friends were. I have a full time job, and I'm a second year college student. Next semester I'll be going to school from 7am - 1:15pm 3 days out of the week which is a full course load and working from 4pm - 12am while going through this pregnancy alone with no family etc... I think that makes me a very strong person, and I know that if I can push myself anybody can. Women who stop going to school just because there are a single parent do that because they're lazy. There are way too many resources. Even if you don't wont to work full time, take out a student loan to cover your bills, you'll have a lot of debt when you graduate, but you'll be making enough money to pay it off and then some, but you can do it honey just pray about it and be strong! That's all I can tell you!
your husbands job is to support you, not verbally abuse you.