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delivery room issue ncmama12 Due November 10; North Carolina 32 posts
15th Oct '12

Ok this is mine and my SO first baby as well as first grandchild on both sides. And I have had planned since day 1 that it would be my SO my MIL and my mom in the delivery room BUT we have just decided that its just going to be me and my husband now bc I don't want to show favoritism to my mom and my MIL feel left out. Because I know i will prefer my Mom and husband by my side I am a mamas girl!!! With only 3 weeks left till due date how do I break this to my mom and MIL I really don't want to hurt feelings but I am 100% sure I would feel better with it just being me and my husband heelllpppp please thanks :)

user banned 33 kids; Blytheville, Arkansas 7534 posts
15th Oct '12

Just tell them? It's your baby, your labor.

Amy {OneGirl, TwoBoys} 3 kids; Cincinnati, Oh, United States 24256 posts
15th Oct '12

i'd just say that you would like your SO and mom only, as a comfort issue and that you will let MIL in asap after all is cleaned up and ok

Jennick.1113 36 kids; New York 7299 posts
15th Oct '12

I would just sit them down and tell them. It's your baby and you'll never get this back, do it how you want.



Or you could just not tell them that you're in labor until after the fact, then invite them both down to come meet their first grand child :)

1Pink&1Blue 2 kids; Springfield, Ohio 1447 posts
15th Oct '12

This is my 2nd baby and I've decided not to have anyone but SO in the room also. I haven't told anyone but SO's dad and Step-mom since they will have DD while Im in labor. Its never really been brought up yet so I havent had to tell anyone else. With DD I kind of decided when it was time to push who stayed and who went. This time I think I'm just not going to call anyone until after he's born so I don't have to deal with anyones attitude. But I say it's you baby, your decision and what you choose they should respect.

1inpink2inblue Switzerland 11961 posts
15th Oct '12

Just tell them. I would never dream of letting anyone BUT my DH and mom in the delivery room with me. Screw my MIL. If I didn't come out of your vagina, you didn't come out of mine, or you don't visit it on a regular basis then you don't need to see it. lol

ncmama12 Due November 10; North Carolina 32 posts
15th Oct '12

It's like a constant battle between them everyday even before we got pregnant me and my mother are very close and my MIL is always trying to steal peoples spotlight so its always a battle if we go to my moms house and spend time then we have to go to my MIL the next day and spend time so there's no favoritism which is CRAZY so as much as I would LOVE to.have my.mom in the room I think it would cause more issues than good

624582 Neilton, Washington 9312 posts
15th Oct '12

Just tell them that you've given it more thought and since this is your first child you'd like it to be more intimate, just DH and you. And apologize if you got their hopes up, you just spoke too soon.

1inpink2inblue Switzerland 11961 posts
15th Oct '12
Quoting KBhooper:" It's like a constant battle between them everyday even before we got pregnant me and my mother are very ... [snip!] ... no favoritism which is CRAZY so as much as I would LOVE to.have my.mom in the room I think it would cause more issues than good"


Wow that is total BS. I so wouldn't play into that shit. I go to my mom's house a few times a week and my MIL's maybe once every 6 months.

624582 Neilton, Washington 9312 posts
15th Oct '12
Quoting KBhooper:" It's like a constant battle between them everyday even before we got pregnant me and my mother are very ... [snip!] ... no favoritism which is CRAZY so as much as I would LOVE to.have my.mom in the room I think it would cause more issues than good"


Hon, if you want your mother there then you should have her there.



Our son was both DH and my first child and was also the first biological grandchild on both sides. I flat out told my in-laws that I didn't want them in the room, but they were more than welcome to visit after I gave birth. I had my mother there and it caused some issues when I told them, but I was comfortable. You're going to need support and if your mother can give that you to then you shouldn't exclude her to be fair. That's just my opinion.

ncmama12 Due November 10; North Carolina 32 posts
15th Oct '12

Yea my MIL is a piece of work seriously!!! You would have to know this woman to understand how bad it really is lol. When I told.my SO that I wanted him and my Mom n the room he was like well my mom is gonna be upset so I was like ok she can be in there too but I think just eliminating them both from the room will minimize the stress and conflict I.just don't know the right way to tell them without hurting there feelings I think its not going to be a "light" subject

624582 Neilton, Washington 9312 posts
15th Oct '12
Quoting KBhooper:" Yea my MIL is a piece of work seriously!!! You would have to know this woman to understand how bad it ... [snip!] ... I.just don't know the right way to tell them without hurting there feelings I think its not going to be a "light" subject"


My MIL isn't really the issue, it's my FIL who is my biggest problem. They ended up not coming to visit at all (I gave birth in VA and they lived in TX), but came a few weeks after LO was born. My FIL have been through a lot of crap and it's been hard because I truly want nothing to do with him, but I've sucked it up for DH because I know he loves his father dearly. I've slowly been standing my ground over the past 3 years, but recently just said screw it. At some point you'll just have to realize what works best for you and your family (DH, soon to be LO, and yourself) and not worry about all of the outsiders. Best of luck to you!

1inpink2inblue Switzerland 11961 posts
15th Oct '12
Quoting KBhooper:" Yea my MIL is a piece of work seriously!!! You would have to know this woman to understand how bad it ... [snip!] ... I.just don't know the right way to tell them without hurting there feelings I think its not going to be a "light" subject"


IDK OP I think it sounds like you are letting everyone else make this decision for you. And I can tell you from personal experience you are going to be kicking yourself for it later. If you don't want you MIL there the tell you Dh that she is just going to have to get over it. And if you want your mom there then let her be there. It is your body and your birth. You should do what make you happy and not try and make everyone else happy. I couldn't imagine not having my mom there with me. I would be devastated if something kept her from being there. And DH respects that. He knows I am the one that is going to be going through the pain of child birth not him and that I should have who ever I need to be there or not be there to make things easier on me. Either way GL

KB 2 kids; Summerville, South Carolina 304 posts
23rd Oct '12

You are going to be the one in labor, delivering a baby... YOUR comfort is important. Not some petty jealousy between the mom's. If they act stupid then hell, they don't even have to hold the baby!



I already informed everyone, as calmly and as patiently as possible mind you, that while I wasn't sure yet who I wanted or didn't want in the room that it was MY choice. DH is in 100% agreement ... my va***jay, my pain, my rules.