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not finding out with a planner Devil Duckie 3 kids; New York 48700 posts
21st Oct '12

We have a nearly 8 year old boy and a 4 1/2 year old girl.



My husband doesn't want to find out this time. Obviously, this time it doesn't matter quite as much as before, since we've already had one each.



Here's my dilemma, I'm a habitual planner. I make lists and then i make more lists.
I don't like the unknown. My birthday and xmas drive me crazy. I hate knowing I'm getting something but don't know what. My husband gets great pleasure in saying "I know what you're getting and I'm not telling!" drives me NUTS!



I think it's really silly to not find out. why wait when buying everything before is so much easier? He doesn't even want to really narrow names down to 1 each. He wants to walk into the hospital with a list.



help me be ok with this, because right now I'm going crazy. I want to give him say, but this is not sitting well with me.

MommaNoodle 2 kids; Pennsylvania 13115 posts
21st Oct '12
Quoting Devil Duckie:" We have a nearly 8 year old boy and a 4 1/2 year old girl. My husband doesn't want to find out this ... [snip!] ... help me be ok with this, because right now I'm going crazy. I want to give him say, but this is not sitting well with me. "


why can't you find out and know? he doesn't have to if he doesn't want to.

user banned (boy); 2 kids; f**king, Austria 36337 posts
21st Oct '12

I am the SAME way. But, I did it. I kept my second son's sex (& name) a secret till birth. I am going to be honest it was hard as hell. lol




I would definitely compromise with him though. Since he wants to wait you should be able to narrow your name choices down.

Devil Duckie 3 kids; New York 48700 posts
21st Oct '12
Quoting MommaNoodle:" why can't you find out and know? he doesn't have to if he doesn't want to."


because I'm a big mouth and would tell him LOL Plus, I'm not ok w/ knowing and not solidifying a name.

user banned (boy); 2 kids; f**king, Austria 36337 posts
21st Oct '12

Btw, It was the best experience of my life. Giving birth then hearing.. "It's a boy" was just an amazing feeling!

babycakes! 18 kids; Orem, Utah 1939 posts
21st Oct '12

I am a lot like you....I make more lists than I can count.



Im only 12weeks and already have a full list of what we need for this baby...
A very detailed list(for both genders).

Devil Duckie 3 kids; New York 48700 posts
21st Oct '12
Quoting ℳary ℐane:" I am the SAME way. But, I did it. I kept my second son's sex (& name) a secret till birth. I am going ... [snip!] ... I would definitely compromise with him though. Since he wants to wait you should be able to narrow your name choices down. "


we have such opposite tastes in names, I don't even know if we can make a list with out killing each other. LOL

DifferentDay Due June 2; 34 kids; Tennessee 3473 posts
21st Oct '12

sounds more like you don't like being without control. I'm the same way for sure and it's super hard to let that go even to hubby but once in awhile I should do it and make him happy. You can always make the lists just make one separate for you that has everything just in case it's either/or sex. Go in with the list of names but I'm sure you'd already have 1 of each narrowed down for yourself. Give the appearance of letting up some maybe? That way it's not so stressful on you or if you really want let go completely and let him decide it all. He might enjoy it all on his shoulders like that or.... he'll buckle and it'll fall back to you. Kind of a hard position to be in and start small might make it easier for you to adjust to. Find something like xmas and tell him "this is hard for me, don't tease me, but don't tell me no matter how much I beg what I'm getting" see if you can even try that.

Devil Duckie 3 kids; New York 48700 posts
21st Oct '12
Quoting babycakes!:" I am a lot like you....I make more lists than I can count. Im only 12weeks and already have a full list of what we need for this baby... A very detailed list(for both genders)."


we're going to BRU today. I plan on make a boy list and girl list w/ patter names, price , color etc.



what do we do about clothes??? I don't want my poor baby wearing green for the first 3 weeks of his/her life while we stock up.

Devil Duckie 3 kids; New York 48700 posts
21st Oct '12
Quoting DifferentDay:" sounds more like you don't like being without control. I'm the same way for sure and it's super hard ... [snip!] ... is hard for me, don't tease me, but don't tell me no matter how much I beg what I'm getting" see if you can even try that."


I'm a total control freak! It is very hard for me to admit, but, yeah. I don't like giving up control. Probably, because my husband isn't always the most reliable and I have to be in charge so much, I don't like not being.



yes! I absolutely have names all set.
Since this is our last, I'm trying desperately to let go and let him have more say in things. I've sorta bossed him into stuff the last 2 times w/out really realizing it.
Trust me, I'm trying but letting go is SOOOOOOOO hard! I don't want him to have full say in things like names, but I don't want to be the raging b***h I was w/ our daughter.
UGH!

user banned (boy); 2 kids; f**king, Austria 36337 posts
21st Oct '12
Quoting Devil Duckie:" we're going to BRU today. I plan on make a boy list and girl list w/ patter names, price , color etc. ... [snip!] ... do we do about clothes??? I don't want my poor baby wearing green for the first 3 weeks of his/her life while we stock up. "

We saved money so I got to go on a "shopping spree" after he was born. I don't really mind neutral colors. Plus, I had a gut feeling it was a boy.



But, you could always buy some blue and pink newborn outfits and keep the receipts and tags on them.

Devil Duckie 3 kids; New York 48700 posts
21st Oct '12
Quoting ℳary ℐane:" We saved money so I got to go on a "shopping spree" after he was born. I don't really mind neutral colors. ... [snip!] ... feeling it was a boy. But, you could always buy some blue and pink newborn outfits and keep the receipts and tags on them. "


that's kinda what we think we're going to do. We'll save the tax return and then He, his mom and sister will go pick it all up while I'm in the hospital. It would be really sweet to come home and have it all set up for me. Maybe I can do this??? Maybe...... I do want to make him happy....

DifferentDay Due June 2; 34 kids; Tennessee 3473 posts
21st Oct '12

I have 2 girls but I have a feeling this is a boy. And it's gonna be sooo super hard NOT to find out! I'm the same way- control freak of everything in our household. I have to be. Or we'd be on the streets/starving, etc. He wouldn't have the awesome job he has or the house we live in, the emergency money in the bank bc he's a spendeeeerrrrrrrr and I'm a strict saver. There's nothing wrong with being in control but since you said this is your last..... I'd try really hard to let go and let him make the most decisions. I bet it would mean so much to him. So here's my idea to help you a little... can you go to goodwill or thrift stores or even craiglist ads, freecycle.org and buy/pick up some boy stuff, some neutral stuff, or girl just so you're kinda prepared? We had donated hand me downs with our oldest and in the bag was a few boy stuff so I just stashed them aside just in case and gave friends the rest of the boy stuff if I knew they were definitely having one. If you get free stuff and it's either/or sex you could always turn around and donate it or sell it to buy what you need. newborn clothes especially are always in abundance and they outgrow them so fast so why spend money at a store if you don't have to? lol

Devil Duckie 3 kids; New York 48700 posts
21st Oct '12
Quoting DifferentDay:" I have 2 girls but I have a feeling this is a boy. And it's gonna be sooo super hard NOT to find out! ... [snip!] ... especially are always in abundance and they outgrow them so fast so why spend money at a store if you don't have to? lol"


Unfortunately, my husband rarely listens to me, so I'm left picking up the pieces and we don't have a savings account because we're always spending.



I guess you're all right. I'm going to try really hard to let him be in charge of this.
Wish me luck!

DifferentDay Due June 2; 34 kids; Tennessee 3473 posts
21st Oct '12

I don't have savings accounts. I have multiple free checking accounts. And it's not a huge savings just $300 at least, bc I freak if there's less than that in any account so knowing it's there is my stress reliever. Good luck mama you can do it, just breathe!!!!!