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i ♥ nora 1 child; New Jersey 1622 posts
21st Oct '12
Quoting Mrs. Potato Dick:" DS: "Why do I have to get in the bath?" Me: "Because I said so" DS: "Said so what?" :evil: Typing ... [snip!] ... :evil: Typing all this out makes me feel like I'm really not overreacting when I talk about how overwhelmed I am with DS."


For the record, I wasnt suggesting saying this to DS. I was just driving my point home, you should not need to justify why you ask or tell your child to do some things. You should not need a reason- you should be able to speak and be heard. Not yell or argue. I understand this is a fantasy I've drawn up for all of us, but thats what it SHOULD be.

Mrs. Potato Dick Madagascar 20356 posts
21st Oct '12
Quoting #3 is a girl!:" bahahaha. im sorry. that sounds funny."


It's funny until you have the same conversation every day for the last 2 years of your life.

Mrs. Potato Dick Madagascar 20356 posts
21st Oct '12
Quoting i ♥ nora:" For the record, I wasnt suggesting saying this to DS. I was just driving my point home, you should not ... [snip!] ... speak and be heard. Not yell or argue. I understand this is a fantasy I've drawn up for all of us, but thats what it SHOULD be."


It SHOULD be... but I have a feeling it'll never be that way. :?

nothingness Arizona 3578 posts
21st Oct '12
Quoting Mrs. Potato Dick:" It's a bit more complicated with us, I think. I adopted DS, but DD is my bio kid. He gets shit because ... [snip!] ... he'll think there's favoritism when we finally tell him about it. Because really... they both equally drive me freakin' nuts. "



Yeaahhh I see what you mean. He does it to get your attention.

~~My Pet Wussy~~ 3 kids; USA 23722 posts
21st Oct '12

<blockquote><b>Quoting Mrs. Potato Dick:</b>" Yelling blows. My mom hates when I do it. "</blockquote>




It does.
Makes me feel like complete shit for doing it. I know it can't be the "right" way but I have no idea what is.

user banned 2 kids; Georgia 24891 posts
21st Oct '12
Quoting i ♥ nora:" You said give a reason. She is giving a reason. Because I said so is a reason, too. You dont have ... [snip!] ... way. Why cant I drink soda? Yes, I'll explain why. Why cant I watch tv in the middle of the night? I dont need to justify it."


I strongly disagree. Teaching a child how to communicate properly is the key to good listening. There is no reason to talk down to and act like a child is not a human.

Mrs. Potato Dick Madagascar 20356 posts
21st Oct '12
Quoting A❤T=P+[It's a Girl:" I strongly disagree. Teaching a child how to communicate properly is the key to good listening. There is no reason to talk down to and act like a child is not a human. "


What do you suggest then since I've tried your advice more times than I can count.



I'm running out of ideas.

~~My Pet Wussy~~ 3 kids; USA 23722 posts
21st Oct '12

<blockquote><b>Quoting Mrs. Potato Dick:</b>" What do you suggest then since I've tried your advice more times than I can count. I'm running out of ideas."</blockquote>




Try the book, how to talk so your kids will listen and how to listen so your kids will talk.... I think that's the title. Awesome book, I read it years ago. Imactually going to reread it.

user banned 2 kids; Georgia 24891 posts
21st Oct '12
Quoting Mrs. Potato Dick:" What do you suggest then since I've tried your advice more times than I can count. I'm running out of ideas."


You have conditioned him to only respond to yelling, now you have to condition him to responding to positive communication. Walk him back to bed, tuck him in and keep explaining why the reason is no.

i ♥ nora 1 child; New Jersey 1622 posts
21st Oct '12
Quoting A❤T=P+[It's a Girl:" I strongly disagree. Teaching a child how to communicate properly is the key to good listening. There is no reason to talk down to and act like a child is not a human. "


Thats exactly what I said. I said children are not human because parents do not need to justify their reasons for asking/telling/denying their child something.
While you try to teach your child to communicate properly, I will try to teach my child to be respectful of her parents, aunts, uncles, and grandparents, to feel free to ask questions about anything that will broaden your understanding, but not to challenge her parents decisions.

i ♥ nora 1 child; New Jersey 1622 posts
21st Oct '12
Quoting A❤T=P+[It's a Girl:" You have conditioned him to only respond to yelling, now you have to condition him to responding to ... [snip!] ... him to responding to positive communication. Walk him back to bed, tuck him in and keep explaining why the reason is no. "


If i ever bothered my mother so much that she had to walk me back to bed, I'd get whacked.
I dont understand your way of thinking, at all.



How did she condition him to respond to yelling, if she speaks to him calmly at first? (genuine question, I truely do not understand.)

user banned 2 kids; Georgia 24891 posts
21st Oct '12
Quoting i ♥ nora:" If i ever bothered my mother so much that she had to walk me back to bed, I'd get whacked. I dont understand ... [snip!] ... she condition him to respond to yelling, if she speaks to him calmly at first? (genuine question, I truely do not understand.)"


It won't be effective for you because you can't comprehend. I don't have to hit people to make my point.
She conditioned him by yelling to get the results she wanted. Now he doesn't respond to anything else because it doesn't take it seriously until she yells.

Mrs.Mud 6 kids; 2 angel babies; North Dakota 3279 posts
21st Oct '12

Ignore him. Physically go turn him around and lead him back to his bed. If you aren't answering his questions (to which he obviously already knows the answers), he should get the hint pretty quickly. If he keeps pestering, lead his butt into the corner, nose first. I refuse to repeat myself over and over and over to my children. I know they're not deaf or stupid... they hear, they understand, they LISTEN, and if they don't, they can stand in a corner and mull it over til they're too tired to stand up.

Mrs. Potato Dick Madagascar 20356 posts
21st Oct '12
Quoting Mrs.Mud:" Ignore him. Physically go turn him around and lead him back to his bed. If you aren't answering his questions ... [snip!] ... they understand, they LISTEN, and if they don't, they can stand in a corner and mull it over til they're too tired to stand up."


I'll probably do this. It'll help me keep from losing my cool, too. He's 6 years old... he knows the routine by now. I'm just tired of the arguing.



Thank you <3

Mrs.Mud 6 kids; 2 angel babies; North Dakota 3279 posts
21st Oct '12
Quoting Mrs. Potato Dick:" I'll probably do this. It'll help me keep from losing my cool, too. He's 6 years old... he knows the routine by now. I'm just tired of the arguing. Thank you <3"


You're welcome. :) My older boys are 7.5 and almost 6. I swear hearing our own voices over n over n over again drives us crazier than anything else. My 5 yo is especially stubborn... he has literally stood in a corner for an hour, til he started crying that his legs hurt... funny, his ears started working a little better though. Ugh... kids.