Reply

Cast Your Vote:

    • Mom -- Votes: 18
    • Dad -- Votes: 1
    • One who has more resources. -- Votes: 38
Who do the kids go to? user banned
22nd Oct '12

When two people split up who do you think should get the kids?

The Mom?
The Dad?
Or to the one who has the job, home, and other means to care for them easier.

MamaCass{+JOE} 3 kids; 1 angel baby; Pennsylvania 42355 posts
22nd Oct '12

I think it depends on the situation, and who is most fit to be primary provider.



I'd like to think that if I were ever in that situation, things could be done as fairly as possible. My husband is a great father, and I would never deny him access to his kids, no matter how ugly things got.

[♥]Mrs. Taylor 18 kids; Texas 12250 posts
22nd Oct '12

My heart would say mom, but if I were homeless, jobless, carless and what not I would want her with her dad where he could take care of her until I could get stable.

*Lindsey* 3 kids; Alberta 8798 posts
22nd Oct '12

depends how old the kids are. When my parents divorced i was like 3 but as i got older i wanted to live with my dad, I started wanting to when i was like 10 and my mom wouldnt let me she said when you this age you can decide and when i turned that age i still wasnt allowed... Well eventually it was too late and i was living on my own. I used to hate my mom for making me stay with her. Im a daddys girl

laurenmik 3 kids; Aurora, Colorado 7222 posts
22nd Oct '12

My kids will never be without me ever. If I was ever in that bad of a place I'd be using all the government programs avalible until I got on my feet.

Robert Downey Jr. Zanzibar, Tanzania 16079 posts
22nd Oct '12

The better parent. And by better I mean the one who is most emotionally stable and who is more loving and caring with the kids as well as financially stable.

Jillian Lindsey 2 kids; Mosheim, Tennessee 2354 posts
22nd Oct '12

which ever person takes care of the child my uncle had custody of his kids because his ex did drugs and never took care of the kids same thing with my SO hes the one whos been there for his LO not his LOs mom the money shouldnt be the only determinant

mamaluvsher4babies 36 kids; California 4230 posts
22nd Oct '12

If both parents are willing and able I say split custody..My ex and I have split with our daughter,,She has always been happy and well rounded child..These custoday battles are a joke and in majority of cases its all about control and power..and not giving a rats ass about the childs feelings

Cracked out June Cleaver 1 child; Springfield, Oregon 61877 posts
22nd Oct '12

Well Garrett and I never went to court when we split,we worked it out in her best interest. He gets more days with her then he would if we went through court. He gets her 2-3 days a week most weeks because of my work schedule. I would say i am the primary parent but we do a lot of stuff 50/50

Cracked out June Cleaver 1 child; Springfield, Oregon 61877 posts
22nd Oct '12
Quoting mamaluvsher4babies:" If both parents are willing and able I say split custody..My ex and I have split with our daughter,,She ... [snip!] ... are a joke and in majority of cases its all about control and power..and not giving a rats ass about the childs feelings"

I agree. That is why we decided to figure it out between us. In my opinion it's not fair how when you go through courts,the dad usually only gets every other weekend. That is not fair to my daughter who loves her daddy

Historymomma 2 kids; La Grange, North Carolina 403 posts
22nd Oct '12

I think it is complete crap that courts tend to still the Mother. It should never be based on the gender of the parent. Many states are adopting father's rights laws, and are finally starting to consider father's as equals. More and more studies have begun to surface about the importance of fathers in a child's life. It should be based on who has the means, and desire to provide the BEST for the child. Who is more financially and emotionally stable. The parent who puts their children's needs over their own wants.

user banned 2 kids; Iowa 7762 posts
22nd Oct '12

My issue right now is that I have no income. I'm actively seeking workd but don't have anything yet. I've been a SAHM for the last 2 1/2 years.

DH has the income and the apartment. He's a good dad, although too strict in my opinion, but the kids do listen to him and love him.

I feel like I'm unable to give them the care they deserve right now.

Think Bαby 17 kids; Nevada 3635 posts
22nd Oct '12

Whatever is in the best interest of the child.

Cracked out June Cleaver 1 child; Springfield, Oregon 61877 posts
22nd Oct '12
Quoting Super Kame Vegeta:" My issue right now is that I have no income. I'm actively seeking workd but don't have anything yet. ... [snip!] ... opinion, but the kids do listen to him and love him. I feel like I'm unable to give them the care they deserve right now."

I was in your shoes. When Garrett left,I had been a SAHM since I was pregnant with Juliannah(4 years) and had to completely start over. Iit took me a few months to find a job but slowly I have got back on my feet

_______Nope_________ 23772 posts
22nd Oct '12

I don't think there is a "right answer."



The fact is that if the one who does the primary child care has a safe place for them to go, I'd say they should stay with that parent. Often if they go with the "breadwinner" (in the case where one is a stay at home parent) they will just end up in daycare which is a huge change for some kids. That parent still needs to work, so it's not like they can really take over the day to day care. If the other parent has a safe place to live then the kids will be the least disrupted by staying with that parent IMO.



My Mom and Dad split and we stayed with my Mom. She was a SAHM. She got the house (it was a rental, but she didn't have to move out) and my Dad helped pay things until she could get a job. We went into preschool, my Dad moved out and we spent weekends with him. It was hard, but it was the right choice. My Dad wasn't the primary caregiver, and living with him and not seeing my Mom every day who took care of us everyday would have been much harder IMO.



It took her time to get on her feet of course, but we made due.