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Step Kids Amanda Schumann Due May 9 (girl); Georgetown, Ohio 90 posts
23rd Oct '12

I really dont know what to do, my step daughter is 5, i've been married to her father for a year and a half, we have always had issues with my SD, but its gotten out of hand here lately, she never wants to come here, because she hast to follow rules like the other children do. Her mom doesn't made her do anything. Now shes telling her mother and step father that i hit her with a belt, i have never touched this child, i do put her in the corner and make her do chores when shes here just like i do my other kids......i told my husband that i should just leave when shes here, cuz i dont wanna start anything.....this is really getting to me and i feel like im gonna go crazy.....somebody please help me

Tikaytasha 17 kids; New York 11503 posts
23rd Oct '12

what kind of chores does a 5 year old have to do?? Cause I sure as hell didn't have any at that age.



Try playing with her instead of putting her in the corner.

♥Mrs.Garcia 18 kids; Houston, Texas 13802 posts
23rd Oct '12

At 5 she has chores.... like what?

Legendary 2 kids; Beverly Hills, California 59667 posts
23rd Oct '12

<blockquote><b>Quoting Tikaytasha:</b>" what kind of chores does a 5 year old have to do?? Cause I sure as hell didn't have any at that age. Try playing with her instead of putting her in the corner."</blockquote>



My 3.5 year old has chores : \

Belle De Jour Due October 8 (boy); 2 kids; Kentucky 19191 posts
23rd Oct '12

Try talking to her. Get on her good side. And what kind of chores are yo making her do?

user banned 1 child; Boston, Massachusetts 30985 posts
23rd Oct '12
Quoting Tikaytasha:" what kind of chores does a 5 year old have to do?? Cause I sure as hell didn't have any at that age. Try playing with her instead of putting her in the corner."


yea no kidding....



my baby girl doesnt do chores.. except maybe help clean up her toys.



i think you're being hard on her and mean. poor kid. it should be a FUN visit... she doesnt live in your house and shouldnt be excpected to do chores.

Tikaytasha 17 kids; New York 11503 posts
23rd Oct '12
Quoting Legendary Amanda:" <blockquote><b>Quoting Tikaytasha:</b>" what kind of chores does a 5 year old have ... [snip!] ... at that age. Try playing with her instead of putting her in the corner."</blockquote> My 3.5 year old has chores : \"


I mean, my 3 year old helps put away the silver wear and stuff like that. But for the most part I just let her play and be a kid.

marsupialjoe TTC since Jun 2003; 3 kids; Fort St John, British Columbia 454 posts
23rd Oct '12

My 5yr olds chores include cleaning up his toys, putting away his folded laundry, and helping bring in the groceries.



And what do you have against discipline? "Try playing with her instead of putting her in the corner." What does that teach a misbehaving child?



I can't relate exactly, but my sister in law's step daughter told her mom she threatened to cut her with a knife--absolute garbage that ended up with police and child services getting involved. Just something you get through because it's your SO's child and he loves her so do your best.. hopefully she'll stop. Maybe some councelling for her, I know SIL's step daughter has some SEVERE issues leading up to that behaviour.. not sure about your SD.

Momma x 2 18 kids; Whiskey d**k Mountain, WA, United States 1372 posts
23rd Oct '12

Next time she's over I would have a heart-to-heart with her (without the other children around) and just ask her what's bothering her/how's she's feeling. She might not feel comfortable there or feel like she's part of the family etc. So my 1st step would be to find the root of her resistance.



And, if it is doing chores, maybe offer her choice it what she wants to tidy up etc. or just get rid of them all together for the time being.

melindapple 1 child; Michigan 5425 posts
23rd Oct '12
Quoting ♥GarciaMommy:" At 5 she has chores.... like what?"


I think chores at 5 is fine, except she doesn't "live" with you OP so it seems she would be exempt except cleaning up toys she plays with.

Amanda Schumann Due May 9 (girl); Georgetown, Ohio 90 posts
23rd Oct '12

She hast to clean her room, just like my boys, who are the same age as her, pick up any toys or clothes that shes gotten out, stuff like that, im not gonna let her slide on stuff when my children do it everday without complaining, how is playing with her instead of putting her in the corner when she smacks my son in the face gonna discipline her :/

Momma x 2 18 kids; Whiskey d**k Mountain, WA, United States 1372 posts
23rd Oct '12
Quoting lilredsmurfy:" My 5yr olds chores include cleaning up his toys, putting away his folded laundry, and helping bring in ... [snip!] ... councelling for her, I know SIL's step daughter has some SEVERE issues leading up to that behaviour.. not sure about your SD."


Just to clarify, putting her in the corner would be considered punishment, not discipline.



Discipline is usually having a consequence that matches the behaviour.

Olive ♥ 1 child; North Carolina 4902 posts
23rd Oct '12

Talk to her. Ask her if something is bothering her. Do you ever have "one on one" activities with her? Maybe that's what she needs to feel closer to you

marsupialjoe TTC since Jun 2003; 3 kids; Fort St John, British Columbia 454 posts
23rd Oct '12
Quoting Momma x 2:" Just to clarify, putting her in the corner would be considered punishment, not discipline. Discipline is usually having a consequence that matches the behaviour. "


Did you take your ECE course too? Lol terminology nazi.
Please go on and tell the OP the appropriate disciplinary action for slapping her son in the face. "Lucy, that hurts Tommy. Can you see that Tommy is hurt? Please use your gentle hands on Tommy."

Amanda Schumann Due May 9 (girl); Georgetown, Ohio 90 posts
23rd Oct '12

My SD is spoiled, her father and I are the only ones who enforce rules, her mother never makes her do anything, and lets her draw on walls and destroy the house, my husband's grandmother is just as bad, she stays with her just as much as she does us, they dont make her go to bed at bed time even tho shes in school now, they dont even make her sleep in her bed, just let her sleep wherever she falls. And i think some of the problem is that my husband and I just had a baby, and so did her mother, i've told her that i love her, and i'll be here for her, but her mother tells her that im evil, and that i hate her, and im the reason her mommy and daddy arent together anymore.