My birthday is in 10 minutes my time... I was supposed to be about 4 months pregnant but I lost my pregnancy the end of July. Not only did I lose that but my home, a lot of my stuff, my friends, my security, my job, etc... My husband was discharged from the Air Force because of his own stupidity/selfishness... and I'm angry... and bitter... and I can't stop. I shouldn't blame the miscarriage on him, but I partially do because of the extreme amount of stress I was put under. (Think literally being kicked out of your home in 3 days time and being 16hrs away from family)...
So now I'm in a new area with no friends, my family 24hrs drive away, and no baby.
My birthdays ALWAYS suck. I think I'm just going to stop "celebrating" them. :cry:
The resentment that you feel is normal. Resentment is a very normal emotion...especially after ALL that you had to go through due to a mistake made by someone else. Pair that with the loss of a child and that can become unbearable.
Just try not to let it eat you alive. Perhaps find an online friend to discuss your feelings with? Most of my friends are online friends. It really helps to talk it all out sometimes. *hugs to you*
I think what gets me the most is he doesn't think I should be angry...and when I say I am he just brushes it off or tells me I can't hold it over his head forever.
He had orders for Japan. We could have been moving right now. :(
Luckily, you don't need his permission to be angry, eh? It doesn't seem like he was NEARLY as affected by it as you were. Emotionally, at least. Or maybe he is in denial about the situation..?
I'm a loner, so I don't get out much. I took up a hobby in order to distract myself from my own thoughts. Do you have any special interests that you could pursue?
Quoting Alissa McKeighan:" Luckily, you don't need his permission to be angry, eh? It doesn't seem like he was NEARLY as affected ... [snip!] ... I took up a hobby in order to distract myself from my own thoughts. Do you have any special interests that you could pursue?"
I've already looked. In NC I was part of a cloth diaper group, an LLL group, as well as a ball joint doll group. There isn't anything close enough here, only in New Orleans which is almost 3 hrs away.
I got a part time job to try to "get out" there but they are mostly college students so we're not really compatible. I'm not really social but... a few friends is nice to have.
I started sewing and making things in NC... but when we moved all our stuff was put into storage and it's there until we get a place. We're waiting for the last of our Air Force money for moving and we should get it... but it's been 3 months with none of my stuff (besides a few bits of clothes and my lap top)... I'm going crazy.
Quoting Alissa McKeighan:" We actually have a LOT of stuff in storage in NC (on Bragg Blvd) also from when my husband ETSed. Were y'all on Pope? He and I lived on Fort Bragg for a long while."
We were at Seymour Johnson. Not sure where our stuff is right now... storage that the AF is paying for or something... I dunno.