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Why won't she talk to me? BRowell 3 kids; 2 angel babies; Bristol, TN, United States 3727 posts
26th Oct '12

DD started kindergarten this year. When she gets home from school I ask her how her day was and shell say "good" but that's it. When I ask her what she did or who she sat with on the bus, what she had at lunch etc she either looks at me blankly, shakes her head no or says "I don't remember" I can not get her to tell me about school. Today she went on a field trip and I picked her up straight off the bus coming from her field trip and immediately asked if she had fun. She said "yeah" and I asked what she did anf she said " I can't remember" I know she can remember, it was no more than 10 min. Since she left the place. She said she couldn't even remember who she sat with on the bus with and I asked her literally one minute after she got off of it. There's no way she really doesn't remember, shes really smart and she remembers things when shejust over hears them or if I tell her just once. She's not quiet or shy. I just don't know why she won't talk to me about school. She likes it and has fun and has lots of friends. She'll talk about stuff randomly but when I ask her she just... Shuts down or something. I don't know what to do. Is this normal?

SpaceCowgirl Due December 21; 3 kids; Oregon 20240 posts
26th Oct '12

Sounds pretty normal.

~mama~ 4 kids; Susanville, CA, United States 1556 posts
26th Oct '12

My oldest is in preschool and it's like pulling teeth to get him to tell me how his day was but he'll tell anyone else in the house everything so I can't really answer that... But you're not alone if that makes a difference :)

Melissa♥ 1 child; Massachusetts 37472 posts
26th Oct '12

Idk if its normal but DD is like that about prek :lol:

Chellie 3 kids; Vegas, Nv, United States 4816 posts
26th Oct '12

My brother is like that, and he is nearly 12 now. Just how some kids are.

tinana+2 TTC since Nov 2013; 2 kids; Staten Island, NY, United States 29663 posts
26th Oct '12

My oldest is in preschool and does pretty much the same thing. He'll tell me, "I don't remember", "I don't feel like talking about it", or "I didn't do anything today." It usually ends up coming out later on or throughout the week, but IMO it's pretty normal.

Bri + 1.5 <3 Due October 20 (girl); 1 child; Florida 4350 posts
26th Oct '12

I have no idea because I haven't had to deal with this. Baby #1 is cooking now, but I think it may be normal. One of my friends posted something exactly like this about her daughter the other day on facebook. Everyone told her it was normal & their kids did it too. So I wouldn't worry too much.

DereksWifey 18 kids; Ohio 874 posts
26th Oct '12

My son is the same and he's in pre-k. But he'll remember something from a week ago lol. Ugh.

Bettinas 2 kids; Australia 2204 posts
26th Oct '12

My niece was the same and she was being bullied. It's still happening and the teachers don't do anything about it. They don't even pull the parents up and ask them to stop their kids doing it. Is she usually open and excited about things other than school? Does she ever ask to stay home because she feels sick? Perhaps one afternoon you could pick her up and see her teacher quietly. Ask her how she is and whether there is anyone making trouble for her?

BRowell 3 kids; 2 angel babies; Bristol, TN, United States 3727 posts
26th Oct '12

<blockquote><b>Quoting Bettinas:</b>" My niece was the same and she was being bullied. It's still happening and the teachers don't do anything ... [snip!] ... you could pick her up and see her teacher quietly. Ask her how she is and whether there is anyone making trouble for her?"</blockquote>




I don't think she's being bullied. She told me a couple times when kids were mean to her, a kid bit her and then some boys were throwing food at her but that's it. When I picked her up today everything seemed fine. Kids were telling her bye, a couple girls even hugged her. She HATES getting up early but she always does bc she gets to go to school and she loves riding the bus. Shes never complained about going. I'm pretty sure she's happy. I hope it's normal behavior, even though its annoying as heck!

Mommy2Kay Due April 20; 1 child; Florida 4235 posts
27th Oct '12
Quoting BRowell:" <blockquote><b>Quoting Bettinas:</b>" My niece was the same and she was being bullied. ... [snip!] ... Shes never complained about going. I'm pretty sure she's happy. I hope it's normal behavior, even though its annoying as heck!"


It's normal, my son is like that about school and the same when he went to daycare. If something really exciting or bad happened he would tell me, like if it was a birthday or if a kid was mean to him. I live with 2 of my nephews (5 and 7) and they are the same way.

mama3trish 3 kids; Ontario 9524 posts
27th Oct '12

I just read something about this in a parenting magazine at the dentists office,lol. Kids need time to decompress when they get home, so let her chill as soon as she gets off the bus (time to process the day). Then wait until supper when you have her undivided attention and ask her something really specific, like "what was your favorite thing you at ate lunch today", or "Was (insert name of trouble making kid) behaving him/herself at circle time today". If that fails make it silly like "Did you play with Dora The Explorer at recess today, and did Boots try and push you off the slide?. I have the opposite issue, my kids fight over who gets to tell me what first as soon as they get in the house. It is a joke in our community, "Ask Trish, her kids tell her everything" who pukes, who got a red card (sent to the office) and what the teacher was wearing.

Melissa♥ 1 child; Massachusetts 37472 posts
27th Oct '12
Quoting mama3trish:" I just read something about this in a parenting magazine at the dentists office,lol. Kids need time to ... [snip!] ... "Ask Trish, her kids tell her everything" who pukes, who got a red card (sent to the office) and what the teacher was wearing."

This is interesting!
It does bring up a good point though, if I ask DD a specific question - like what did MaFlor (her grandmother) packed her for lunch she will tell me exactly what she packed her :lol: but any other "vague" questions only get an 'it was fine' or 'I didn't learn anything' :roll:



(My mom takes her to school on Monday's and Friday's since DD sleeps over there every Sunday and Thursday since I work overnights)

Missy0507 Japan 400 posts
27th Oct '12

Make it a game. My kids are 8,6,3, and a newborn and every single night we play a game called high low at dinner time. Someone starts by saying what there high was (the absolute best part of their day) and then they ask someone else what their high was. Then we go around again and everyone says their low (the worst part of their day) and then as a family we come up with strategies together so that the low either doesn't happen again or ways we can flip it into something good.

mama3trish 3 kids; Ontario 9524 posts
27th Oct '12
Quoting Melissa♥:" This is interesting! It does bring up a good point though, if I ask DD a specific question - like what ... [snip!] ... mom takes her to school on Monday's and Friday's since DD sleeps over there every Sunday and Thursday since I work overnights)"

Food seems to be a big motivator for everything,lol Communication is big in our house, but seriously some days my girls make my ears bleed.