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confused have no one to talk to nick. 33 kids; California 33 posts
29th Oct '12

I feel so confused right now. In less than 24hours I feel like my life has been turned upside down. last night I found out I am pregnant clearly upset I woke up my husband who told me we will deal with it later. We currently have a daughter who just turned one, and right now another child just doesn't seem to fit into the picture with everything that is going on in our lives so this is a lot to take in right now with my husband refusing to talk about it besides suggesting a abortion. I currently don't have anyone close to me to talk to without them judging me for which decision I make. I'm not quiet sure I want a abortion but I know we aren't ready for another child either. But my husband wants me to schedule something for this week and I know i'm probable about 4-5 weeks and was wondering about my options if it is something I decide to do. I can't have my work find out because they are very judgmental to the women who have had it done and both of our parents would be devastated if they found out. For anyone who has had it done and paid cash how much did it cost ? and what option has the quickest recovery time because I only get one day off to go to the clinic and have to work the next day.



and yes I know this is a big decision and it's my decision to make not his.

JΔS Georgia 72472 posts
29th Oct '12

I didn't pay cash, my insurance (well my mom's insurance) covered it but it was almost 400 bucks. This was in the DC and at Planned Parenthood.



You're early so the abortion pill is an option for you as well if you do not want to go the surgical route. I'm not sure how much that costs. I don't know about you going to work the next day though hun. Surgical or pill, you need at least a day or two. The pill method pretty much forces your body to miscarry and its pretty painful, cramping wise. Best of luck.

UhmAmber 1 child; Texas 2415 posts
29th Oct '12

When I was looking into it as an option the pill seemed to be the best method. It's two pills, you go in, take the first they monitor you for a bit, then you go home and take the second one later. You can do it up to 9 weeks. It costs $300, and I think the recovery period was said to be two days or so.
My best friend has used that method and said she felt like shit for about a day afterwards.
The website said some do, some don't.
You'll feel sick, but it's non surgical..

♥Mrs.Garcia 18 kids; Houston, Texas 13802 posts
29th Oct '12

I was in your shoes with this one. I know it sucks, it hurts and it just really sucks. I still cry about it sometimes but you have to do what is best for you and your family. I, on the other hand, was too scared to have one so I just put it off. My DH was an ass. I just want you to know if you need anyone to talk to, I'm here. I hope things get better for you and you make the choice that is right for you.

Miss. Tiff Due November 20; 33 kids; Odessa, Missouri 2874 posts
29th Oct '12

<blockquote><b>Quoting nick.:</b>" I feel so confused right now. In less than 24hours I feel like my life has been turned upside down. last ... [snip!] ... go to the clinic and have to work the next day. and yes I know this is a big decision and it's my decision to make not his."</blockquote>




I've never had one our know much. But make sure this is YOUR decision. Best of luck!

nick. 33 kids; California 33 posts
29th Oct '12

thats why i needed to pay cash because my work goes through the insurance paperwork they confronted me on my first pregnancy before i decided to confirm anything to them.
is there any less bleeding with the surgical route than with the pill? and do they give you anything to deal with the pain if you choose the pill?

Justine's Mama Due November 28 (boy); 1 child; Boynton Beach, Florida 1939 posts
29th Oct '12

Here in Florida it was $350 for me and I did the surgical one and it took me a few weeks to recover. I am unsure about the recovery with the pill. Maybe check it out on line I do think you recover quicker doing the pill though but I am not positive. Good luck I know it is a tuff decision.

JΔS Georgia 72472 posts
29th Oct '12
Quoting nick.:" thats why i needed to pay cash because my work goes through the insurance paperwork they confronted me ... [snip!] ... with the surgical route than with the pill? and do they give you anything to deal with the pain if you choose the pill?"


How can they do that? That sounds like an illegal invasion of privacy.



I can only speak from my experience with the surgical procedure. I bled immediately afterwards and it lasted for a week. Just like a normal period. I didn't go to school the next day though, I just needed a day. I emotionally and physically felt like crap.

nick. 33 kids; California 33 posts
29th Oct '12
Quoting Jas ♥:" How can they do that? That sounds like an illegal invasion of privacy."


I understand why they did it they considered it a safety issue but they are very judgmental to my coworkers who have had it done. they love gossip and to make people feel bad about their life choices. and that's why id like to keep it private because if i do go through with it I don't need to feel worse than I already will.
I know not the best work environment but it pays very well and you do what you got to do for your family.

JΔS Georgia 72472 posts
29th Oct '12
Quoting nick.:" I understand why they did it they considered it a safety issue but they are very judgmental to my coworkers ... [snip!] ... than I already will. I know not the best work environment but it pays very well and you do what you got to do for your family."


That really sucks. Going through your medical records is one thing but gossiping about it is illegal, I'm pretty sure.

Justine's Mama Due November 28 (boy); 1 child; Boynton Beach, Florida 1939 posts
29th Oct '12

I had a hard time after mine, for some reason. I bled immediately after and continually for 3 weeks I was pretty weak it took me a good two weeks to be okay again. Usually you should bleed a week I think after a surgical one. Its been years so It is hard to remember. But you could call a place and ask.



Yeah I don't think its legal for your job to do that, that just sounds wrong.

7 blessings so far.... Due February 3; 6 kids; Glen Burnie, Maryland 8799 posts
29th Oct '12

Sorry you are contemplating this hard decision....make sure the decision is yours, resentment for your DH can ruin your relationship if you feel pressured by him to terminate and go along w/it because he wants you to. Its still pretty early, so take some tome to think it over. circumstance could change for the better or worse over the next 9mo......u can never bbe truly prepared for a baby cause u cant know the future but u can learn to be content and make due w/their resourses. People do it every day. ....praying you find peace in the decision you make.

thisunrest India 10364 posts
29th Oct '12

<blockquote><b>Quoting nick.:</b>" I feel so confused right now. In less than 24hours I feel like my life has been turned upside down. last ... [snip!] ... go to the clinic and have to work the next day. and yes I know this is a big decision and it's my decision to make not his."</blockquote>




I feel you there.



NO one in my family knows about mine. And that's to spare their feelings as well as to protect myself emotionally.
I cried literally all night because I wanted my mother 's help and support, but she would have thought me a murderer or her grand baby.



If you ever feel isolated because of keeping this from them, just PM me, I'll listen.



My procedure was surgical, I was 4 weeks 4 days gestation, 6 and a half weeks lmp. It cost somewhere between $250 and $375, can't remember which.



The procedure was painful but short. Veeeerrrry crampy, I thought I's puke but once it was over, the pain was too. I was shaky, emotional, cried a little, all that.



I bled for three weeks, and even though I was scared that I'd regret it someday and I felt heartbroken as well as relieved, it was the most responsible decision I could have possibly chosen.

justsusan09 TTC since Aug 2012; Ohio 1 posts
31st Oct '12

Hi, I know what you are going through.. I had an abortion a year and a half ago and it was the hardest decision I have made in my life. Luckily my family supported me in my decision and I believe it cost $300 and I was 7 weeks along. My mom went with my and we had to wait 6 hours before they took me in the back to have the abortion. I was so scared and it was pretty painful. I believe I could have been sedated but that was more money. I started bleeding almost immediately and bleed for almost 2 weeks. I am self-employed so I didn't have to worry about going to work the following day but it doesn't seem right that your employer is so opinionated about something that is so personal. I feel that everyone is entitled to their own opinion. Now I am in a loving and committed relationship with the right man and we are hoping to have a family someday. I hope you come to the right decision because I know in my heart that I did.