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♥Mrs.Garcia 18 kids; Houston, Texas 13802 posts
31st Oct '12
Quoting Jas ♥:" Keep scrolling because I told you. There isn't much you can do but wait. Oh and you should be honest and tell your husband that you went through his things and sent messages to his friends on FB."


I don't have to be honest, he knows. I'm not trying to hide it either... so..

♥Mrs.Garcia 18 kids; Houston, Texas 13802 posts
31st Oct '12
Quoting Kiss Kiss Bang Bang:" you way over stepped your boundaries & you can't let him not go. He has to make those decisions for himself."


So I'm just suppose to be okay with this? If he decides to go... there should be no consequences???

JΔS Georgia 75298 posts
31st Oct '12
Quoting ♥GarciaMommy:" I don't have to be honest, he knows. I'm not trying to hide it either... so.. "


He knows you sent the messages? So what exactly are you asking other than if you handled it the right way?

JΔS Georgia 75298 posts
31st Oct '12
Quoting ♥GarciaMommy:" So I'm just suppose to be okay with this? If he decides to go... there should be no consequences??? "


You aren't his mother. He can do what he wants. Sure, he should always take your feelings into consideration but he's a grown man. If his actions are upsetting you, you have choices but none of those choices is to control him.

Ellie. 34 kids; Arizona 25371 posts
31st Oct '12
Quoting Jas ♥:" You aren't his mother. He can do what he wants. Sure, he should always take your feelings into consideration ... [snip!] ... but he's a grown man. If his actions are upsetting you, you have choices but none of those choices is to control him."


Completely agree here.

♥Mrs.Garcia 18 kids; Houston, Texas 13802 posts
31st Oct '12
Quoting Jas ♥:" He knows you sent the messages? So what exactly are you asking other than if you handled it the right way?"


I didn't ask, "If I handled it the right way" I asked "How do you handle this the right way?" like from this moment on... how do I go about handling this situation right... and yes, he probably most likely knows that by now. He checks his facebook on his phone all the time and seeing as how he sent me a message via FB. Of course it was me who sent the messages.

♥Mrs.Garcia 18 kids; Houston, Texas 13802 posts
31st Oct '12
Quoting Jas ♥:" You aren't his mother. He can do what he wants. Sure, he should always take your feelings into consideration ... [snip!] ... but he's a grown man. If his actions are upsetting you, you have choices but none of those choices is to control him."


Of course I can not control a grown man. Really?!?! I can't make him do anything. That was not my question.



Am I suppose to be okay with this? I am I just suppose to let it slide if he does do this? Are there to be no consequences if he does? So just because I went on his FB it basically makes his actions knoll and void? I'll be 37/38 weeks pregnant. I had my son early so this one will most likely be early. I don't have family that live close by so who the hell is going to take me to the hospital??

JΔS Georgia 75298 posts
31st Oct '12
Quoting ♥GarciaMommy:" Of course I can not control a grown man. Really?!?! I can't make him do anything. That was not my question. ... [snip!] ... one will most likely be early. I don't have family that live close by so who the hell is going to take me to the hospital?? "


You don't HAVE to be okay with this. That's what I am telling you. Read more slowly. You cannot control the things that he does just like he can't control you. If something he does makes you unhappy, you need to speak with him about it. Hellur, communication. You're married.

♥Mrs.Garcia 18 kids; Houston, Texas 13802 posts
31st Oct '12
Quoting Jas ♥:" You don't HAVE to be okay with this. That's what I am telling you. Read more slowly. You cannot control ... [snip!] ... you. If something he does makes you unhappy, you need to speak with him about it. Hellur, communication. You're married."


This isn't about controlling actions. It's about acting on it appropriately. So if he goes, I can get upset, but what? I just deal with it?

Ellie. 34 kids; Arizona 25371 posts
31st Oct '12
Quoting ♥GarciaMommy:" This isn't about controlling actions. It's about acting on it appropriately. So if he goes, I can get upset, but what? I just deal with it? "


**Face Palm**

She is telling you that once you found out about this, you were supposed to discuss your feelings with him rather than let it get to the point where he just goes. Then if he still goes, then you discuss it more, and he can deal with the consequences. What else CAN you do?

♥Mrs.Garcia 18 kids; Houston, Texas 13802 posts
31st Oct '12
Quoting Man. Bear. Pig.:" **Face Palm** She is telling you that once you found out about this, you were supposed to discuss ... [snip!] ... he just goes. Then if he still goes, then you discuss it more, and he can deal with the consequences. What else CAN you do?"


Should I go to my mothers? Should I reevaluate this relationship?

Ellie. 34 kids; Arizona 25371 posts
31st Oct '12
Quoting ♥GarciaMommy:" Should I go to my mothers? Should I reevaluate this relationship? "


Is it that big of a deal to you? If it is, if you honestly feel that betrayed and that it is a potential breaker, then discuss the importance of it with him. He shoudl know how strongly you feel. Then if he still does it or chooses not to care, do what you feel you have to for sure.

JΔS Georgia 75298 posts
31st Oct '12

<blockquote><b>Quoting ♥GarciaMommy:</b>" This isn't about controlling actions. It's about acting on it appropriately. So if he goes, I can get upset, but what? I just deal with it? "</blockquote>



That's up to you. Like I said, you have choices but what are u goin to do besides leave? Put him in time out?

♥Mrs.Garcia 18 kids; Houston, Texas 13802 posts
31st Oct '12
Quoting Jas ♥:" <blockquote><b>Quoting ♥GarciaMommy:</b>" This isn't about controlling actions. ... [snip!] ... That's up to you. Like I said, you have choices but what are u goin to do besides leave? Put him in time out?"


Why do you keep going back to the fact that I'm trying to control him or that I'm his mother or something??

Ellie. 34 kids; Arizona 25371 posts
31st Oct '12
Quoting ♥GarciaMommy:" Why do you keep going back to the fact that I'm trying to control him or that I'm his mother or something?? "


She's being sarcastic. She is saying to use common sense. There IS nothing else you can do. Try to prevent it, or try to deal with the consequences later. That's pretty much it.