I didn't know where else to turn to.. I feel like my life lately is being torn to shreds.
Dh is wanting to TTC right now & I just don't... DS will be 1 in a few weeks & I had a horrible pregnancy that ended up with having to have a c-section 8 weeks early. I want to wait another year and he doesn't.
He hasn't wanted to speak to me all day since I told him...he won't even look at me..
& when I went over to visit my mom this past weekend, I noticed a large bruise on her back..... i dragged it out of her that her bf who i cannot stand, hit her multiple times because she wouldn't pay his cell phone bill (he has no job and wont get one because he owes so much in child support for a child he skipped out on years ago). He isn't there at her apartment right now but this is the 3rd guy who she has been with that has hit her and I'm so fucking scared right now. I'm scared of losing her.
I'm scared of everything. I'm scared that by not trying to have another child right now I'll lose my husband. I'm scared id I do try to conceive I'll lose another child from a miscarriage or just fucking die myself. I'm scared this guy will kill my mom. I'm scared of losing my friends & the only people who truly know me.
i work a lot and i feel like i'm spreading myself way too thin i live far away from most of my friends and I'm the only one with a car so its always up to me to drive to & from and it's just so much gas so I barely get to see anyone & most of my friends don't work and it'd be nice to get off of work and hear from someone except for me doing all of the work so i just stopped texting or calling people to see if they'd notice and of course I don't hear from anyone... Especially with what's going on right now with DH and my mom it'd be nice to have some friends but i just don't have the heart anymore..
The only person I have right now is DS and while I love him with all of my heart I need someone else.
I don't want to be weak, I don't want to feel this way but it just keeps getting worse..
What do I do.... DO I just move on from everyone and everything... Or is it worth it to keep fighting.... I just need advice, anything... Thanks.
Don't give in to your husband. That isn't how a healthy relationship works. Plus w/ having had a c-section, they recommend 18 months generally in-between. That is really fucked up of him. You can't change anythimg about your mom, she's an adult, but hopefully she dumps him :(
Is it possible to cut down on your hours at work? Get a night out?
It takes two people to make a baby so it should be the decision of two not just one. You need to sit down and talk with your DH about your fears. He needs to know how you feel, and that your body needs time to heal still.
I don't know what to say about your mom. Just give her the emotional support she needs and hopefully she comes around.
Call in and take a night off. Everyone needs a little me time. Tell your Dh that he needs to respect your feelings especially since you are the one who will be pregnant. And just remind your mom that you love herand she deserves better. Support her when she is ready to leave him. Gl