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Cast Your Vote:

    • yes -- Votes: 73
    • no -- Votes: 16
MunchkinWrangler 4 kids; Rīga, Latvia 46840 posts
4th Nov '12
Quoting bbbt:" Depends how young we're talking about here. 13-15? No. There's no way. You can't get even get a job at that age. You're still a kid yourself. 16-19? Absolutely."


Bull. I got pregnant with my son at 15. It was hard but I am a damn good mother. He couldn't be any happier or healthier. I dare anyone to tell me that my age makes me a bad mother... That's just plain stupid.

Interrobang!? 6 kids; Ontario 1176 posts
4th Nov '12

I think it's a lot harder to be a good parent when there's excessive hardship (financial, social, marital/relational, emotional, physical) at any age. And those hardships are all more likely to impact teenage parents.



The big issue to me -- and this doesn't apply to "teen parents" who are 18/19, married, or emancipated, thus legal adults, I don't even classify them as teen parents except in the technical sense -- is the issue of teen parents as minors. They're not legally able to make 100% of their own medical decisions, they're not able to leave school legally in some places (and in others, not allowed to stay in their school!), they're not allowed to marry without parental consent, there is restriction on employment for those who are below leaving age of school thus making economic hardship more likely. They may benefit from a good family's protection but in a bad family, they and thus their child can be subject to unchecked abuse or exploitation with very little protection under the law unless they can prove grievous physical abuse. Even then, sometimes not.



The potential for abuse or the minor parent's status being used against them or making it tough for them is huge. Combine that with an incomplete or poor education to start with, lack of resources, and a predatory/discriminatory attitude toward minor parents that's still prevalent, and it's even grimmer.



All things equalled out, though, and I don't believe, nor have I observed, that teen parents are any better or worse than those at other ages. Given identical circumstances (stable relationship, educated, financial stability, emotional well-being, physical fitness, commitment to the child), I doubt there would be a ton of difference between an 18-year-old FTM and a 36-year-old FTM, simply based on age.

TheNuge 1 child; Pennsylvania 23055 posts
4th Nov '12

Sure, a teen mom can be a good mom. IMO, most aren't so great and the better ones are good parents as they enlist the help of loving and caring adults in the raising of the baby/child.

Vivialopod 2 kids; Vantaa, Finland 42775 posts
4th Nov '12

Yes. It's just less likely.

Interrobang!? 6 kids; Ontario 1176 posts
4th Nov '12
Quoting TheNuge:" Sure, a teen mom can be a good mom. IMO, most aren't so great and the better ones are good parents as they enlist the help of loving and caring adults in the raising of the baby/child."

Not sure what you're saying... that a teen parent can only be a good parent if they have someone older basically raising the kid or heavily directing them in what to do?



Am I reading that right or mis-interpreting?

user banned 3 kids; Los Angeles, California 54034 posts
4th Nov '12

Absolutely. I just think that it is, in general, a poor life decision.

user banned 3 kids; Los Angeles, California 54034 posts
4th Nov '12
Quoting Interrobang?!:" Not sure what you're saying... that a teen parent can only be a good parent if they have someone older ... [snip!] ... someone older basically raising the kid or heavily directing them in what to do? Am I reading that right or mis-interpreting?"

I think she just means that a teen parent with a great support system is much more likely to be successful and happy than one with zero help. And, she's probably right.

*Turtles* Due July 27 (girl); 1 child; Someplace, UT, United States 6090 posts
5th Nov '12

Anyone is capable of being a good parent. Age does not always play a factor in how you will turn out as a parent.

MunchkinWrangler 4 kids; Rīga, Latvia 46840 posts
5th Nov '12
Quoting Interrobang?!:" Not sure what you're saying... that a teen parent can only be a good parent if they have someone older ... [snip!] ... someone older basically raising the kid or heavily directing them in what to do? Am I reading that right or mis-interpreting?"


I hope that's not what she's saying. I had little support, in fact my family was trying to push be to put my son up for adoption... My son is almost five now and I have been a wonderful mother. No adult helped me....

khigh 1 child; Fort Sill, Oklahoma 8101 posts
5th Nov '12
Quoting *Cade*Mak*Col*:" I hope that's not what she's saying. I had little support, in fact my family was trying to push be to ... [snip!] ... push be to put my son up for adoption... My son is almost five now and I have been a wonderful mother. No adult helped me...."


Have you provided everything for your child or have you taken some government assistance?

user banned 3 kids; Ontario 10942 posts
5th Nov '12
Quoting khigh:" Have you provided everything for your child or have you taken some government assistance?"



What does that have to do with anything?



Sure alot of young parents get some kind of assistance, so they can finish school and working at the same time, and its just helping out till, they graduate and can take on full time work, then they dont need it anymore.



People think assistance is all bad and I disagree to a certain point. If you are in school and bettering yourself so you wont need the assistance once you are done, why is it an issue, thats what it is there for to help out when its needed to those who are trying to be a working person.



Or if you are already working, and not making enough, but bettering your options by going to school as well and getting assistance as well, whats the issue?



Some people dont have family support at all, or are pretty much disowned by them for being a young parent. They are still raising their child on their own, even if getting assistance. "Assistance" is not in your home changing diapers and keeping the child safe. I would rather a young parent be on assistance and feeding and clothing and putting a roof over their and their childs head, then living dirt poor and cant get by.



I dont see how someone collecting assistance makes a difference.



khigh 1 child; Fort Sill, Oklahoma 8101 posts
5th Nov '12

<blockquote><b>Quoting Coupon Lady:</b>" What does that have to do with anything? Sure alot of young parents get some kind of assistance, ... [snip!] ... childs head, then living dirt poor and cant get by. I dont see how someone collecting assistance makes a difference. "</blockquote>



No adult helped me were her exact words. If you get assistance, that statement is false.

user banned 3 kids; Ontario 10942 posts
5th Nov '12
Quoting khigh:" <blockquote><b>Quoting Coupon Lady:</b>" What does that have to do with anything? ... [snip!] ... "</blockquote> No adult helped me were her exact words. If you get assistance, that statement is false."



No its not. "adult" and assistance are two different things.



Getting help personaly from 1-2 adults like your parents is entirely different then having financial help from the "government" Its not the samething,



When refering to having no one "physically" taking care of your children for you. Assistance does not "physicaly" care for your children, They hand you money. For you to care for your childern financially.

khigh 1 child; Fort Sill, Oklahoma 8101 posts
5th Nov '12

<blockquote><b>Quoting Coupon Lady:</b>" No its not. "adult" and assistance are two different things. Getting help personaly from 1-2 adults ... [snip!] ... Assistance does not "physicaly" care for your children, They hand you money. For you to care for your childern financially."</blockquote>




Where do you think government money comes from? A bunch of adults. Government assistance is help from a bunch of adults and I'm sure if she wasn't a teen, she wouldn't have needed a bunch of adults to financially take care of her child.

user banned 3 kids; Ontario 10942 posts
5th Nov '12
Quoting khigh:" <blockquote><b>Quoting Coupon Lady:</b>" No its not. "adult" and assistance are ... [snip!] ... of adults and I'm sure if she wasn't a teen, she wouldn't have needed a bunch of adults to financially take care of her child."



I was a teen when I had my oldest, I never used assistance. I worked and went to school.
Here you cant get assistance till you are 19 yrs old. So anyone under that who has a child does not qualify for it, it does happen in certain cases of them being homeless etc...Your parents have to accept the money for you. And most cases the parents wont, sice they dont support them being pregnant etc...



But you still jumped to conclusions. You dont even know if she was on any assistance at all.



I still dont see assistance in the same " form" you do, its financial and not "physical" there fore I dont put it in the same catagory.