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The second time around (single mom) anonymom + 1.5 2 kids; West Virginia 10787 posts
4th Nov '12

When you had your SECOND (or later) child and were single, how was the process different?



What suggestions would you have for someone who was about to have a baby, had a toddler, and was single (and living alone)?



When did you first start taking both of them out? How did you adjust? How did you find time for yourself? And so on and so forth.

Regina Stevenson Due November 29 (twins); 1 child; Michigan 388 posts
4th Nov '12

I will let you know when the time gets here. I am going on my 2nd time around at being a single mom. This time around I am having twins and I ave a 4 yr old Son at home AND live alone so... I would think you cant avoid taking both kids out at once because you need to get your baby to appointments and such AND get your toddler whereevr they need to be school daycare wherever. Its just one of those things where you have to go with what feels comfortable for you.



Like I said I dont know how to even approach what your asking because I myself am in the same boat only instead of just having 2 kids I will have 3 and no BD around to help because he is such an ass.

user banned 2 kids; Bat Cave, North Carolina 64587 posts
4th Nov '12

I'm not a single mom, nor was I when DD was born.



BUT, I'm a SAHM and my husband works full time, so I'm the kids' primary caretaker.



I took them out slot right from the get go. DS was able to play on the playground, DD slept in her stroller. I tried to make sure that DS still got to do a lot of fun things so that he didn't end up resenting DD. (And it worked!)
During the day, I didn't fins time for myself. DS stopped napping before DD was born. If your oldest still naps, I would attempt to get the newb to nap (for one of the nap times) at the same time so you can rest or get things done.



Good luck!

Kathleen Briggs Due June 29; 3 kids; Littleton, NH, United States 15 posts
4th Nov '12

I'm not going to lie to you, it is extremely difficult especially if they don't have the same father or if your newborn has colic. I had my daughter 4 days after my 19th birthday and got pregnant again 3 months later so my kids are very close in age. Going out with both of them alone isn't too bad until both of them are mobile. It does takes a lot of getting used to but you'll get the hang of it! :D For time alone never feel ashamed to ask friends and family for help. I only get time to myself when they both go down for their 2 hour nap in the afternoon or when I hire a sitter. I know how you feel..I was terrified too and I wish you the best of luck! :)

anonymom + 1.5 2 kids; West Virginia 10787 posts
4th Nov '12
Quoting Mayhem ♥:" I'm not a single mom, nor was I when DD was born. BUT, I'm a SAHM and my husband works full time, so ... [snip!] ... attempt to get the newb to nap (for one of the nap times) at the same time so you can rest or get things done. Good luck!"


I'm due in Jan so I am just not looking forward to going out at all :(



I *hope* she still naps! She does now...

user banned 2 kids; Bat Cave, North Carolina 64587 posts
4th Nov '12

<blockquote><b>Quoting anonymom + 1.5:</b>" I'm due in Jan so I am just not looking forward to going out at all :( I *hope* she still naps! She does now..."</blockquote>



Cling to that nap time and take advantage for as long as you can!
I found that sometimes if I DID have free time (the very rare occasions when DS still napped or if he was content playing), I would sleep. And do the chores later. Don't run yourself ragged!

anonymom + 1.5 2 kids; West Virginia 10787 posts
4th Nov '12
Quoting Mayhem ♥:" <blockquote><b>Quoting anonymom + 1.5:</b>" I'm due in Jan so I am just not looking ... [snip!] ... when DS still napped or if he was content playing), I would sleep. And do the chores later. Don't run yourself ragged!"


I'll definitely keep that in mind! I was thinking... I have a friend who is due in march or april. I was thinking I could offer to come to her house 3x a week to do spot cleaning and cook a little (and freeze/fridge stuff), if she could do the same.



Do you think it'd be overkill to schedule someone to be with me every day/night for a week or so? (Not like hire, just friends who've offered knowing that I'm single and won't have help.)

user banned 2 kids; Bat Cave, North Carolina 64587 posts
4th Nov '12

<blockquote><b>Quoting anonymom + 1.5:</b>" I'll definitely keep that in mind! I was thinking... I have a friend who is due in march or april. I ... [snip!] ... me every day/night for a week or so? (Not like hire, just friends who've offered knowing that I'm single and won't have help.)"</blockquote>




That may be a good idea!
And I would take any help you can get! And maybe start cooking and freezing meals now so you have quick meals for those days when you wanna pass out

anonymom + 1.5 2 kids; West Virginia 10787 posts
4th Nov '12
Quoting Mayhem ♥:" <blockquote><b>Quoting anonymom + 1.5:</b>" I'll definitely keep that in mind! I was ... [snip!] ... help you can get! And maybe start cooking and freezing meals now so you have quick meals for those days when you wanna pass out"


I have been looking for recipes :) Veggie Lasagna sounds like a good idea!

G-Gina 2 kids; Halifax, Nova Scotia 17 posts
4th Nov '12

I was single having my son at 26 (he's now 8) my daughter is 4 months and again I was single right through pregnancy from the 2nd month. I thought the second time I was doing it right we were buying a house together... already lived together... due to be married etc etc.. cut a long story short he wasn't the man I thought he was. So second time round I find both children absolutely wonderful getting out isn't a problem. I try to make sure I get out as much as I can so I don't fall into the trap of just staying at home and let depression sink in... The only stress I have is my ex and other small minded people being dragged into his games causing me problems. Although happily I believe Karma is a pain and when I eventually get to take him to court he will have some Karma sent his way... My advice is even if you don't feel like going out for a walk every day... force yourself to do it. Not only for the health benefits but also to help mentally. I'm also back to my pre-pregnancy weight at 110lbs! So to the man who called me fat.... I was pregnant and almost lost it all :O)

user banned 2 kids; Bat Cave, North Carolina 64587 posts
5th Nov '12

<blockquote><b>Quoting anonymom + 1.5:</b>" I have been looking for recipes :) Veggie Lasagna sounds like a good idea!"</blockquote>



Mmm. Yes it does!