The father of my child has said to me 3 different times to get rid of the baby. The first was a text 2 months ago and it said I quote "I hope it dies inside of you". The second was in person and he said I quote "Why don't you just get an abortion, you don't need this child and neither do I". The third was last night when we were in a physical arguement and he said to me I quote "Just get an abortion why don't you, you don't need that child". He and I are not together especially after last nigh, but now he said that I know he didn't mean it. I don't know if he did or not to be honest, he said he wants to see his son. So I don't know if I should even let him. I don't want child support because I don't want his money, I would rather not take it to court. I know he won't fight me for visits he doesn't have the money. But my question is, if he said those things to you and physically put his hands on you when you were almost 6 months pregnant, would you give it a thought to letting your child see him?
My child would NOT be having solo visits. As a matter of fact, I would do everything in my power to keep bastard ex bf from ever meeting LO
Id be getting a restraining order. Hed have to take me to court for visitation as well.
I've been in this situation before with my daughters father & I made the mistake in letting him be involved in her life.
now, three years later, he's in jail & I am a single mother doing it all by myself anyway.
If I were you, I would get full custody when your child is born, because f he is physical towards you, it's only going to get worse.
If you need to, you can message me
Hell would freeze over before i would let someone like that near my child. Just because he was the sperm donor doesn't make him a father.
No, he admitted to not wanting the baby to even make it out of your stomach. Hurting you while pregnant is hurting the baby, why does he want to see his child?
Quoting NevviesMom:" My child would NOT be having solo visits. As a matter of fact, I would do everything in my power to keep bastard ex bf from ever meeting LO"
I would never think about solo visits, I just meant even meeting me at a public place like Mcdonalds or something where there are people around. I didn't want to feel like a b***h, I mean he used to think that he could take me to court and just because he has a job he would get custody. I work my ass off full time, pay my bills and have my own place he doesn't have shit to his name except a damn vehicle. I just didn't want to feel like a b***h glad to know that I am not wrong for not thinking he should be involved.
Quoting Andrea0510:" Hell would freeze over before i would let someone like that near my child. Just because he was the sperm donor doesn't make him a father."
that is well said you can donate the sperm but in no way shape or form does that mean he is a father or has rights... I would give the child your last name because if you give him his he can fight if he chooses to which from the sounds of it would only be bad...If a man got physical to me while carrying his child I would hurt him. You deserve better than that and so does that baby in your belly...He doesn't need to see mommy and daddy constantly fighting like that if he thinks you should have an abortion obviously this man isn't mature enough to handle the responsibility and is just trying to get out of it. I hope your ok and the baby is as well you don't deserve that think about your son he is going to grow up and learn its ok to hit mommy or put his hands on mommy which is a big NO!
Quoting *J*:" Id be getting a restraining order. Hed have to take me to court for visitation as well."
I am going to get an order of protection tomorrow I am going to see if my mother will go with me since i don't know where the place even is.
I would get a restraining order put against him. And wouldn't even think about it.
If he really wants to see his son then he can take you to court and you can go from there.
Quoting Leslie Graham-Newton:" "
That is a good point, I don't want my son thinking it's ok to ever hit ANY woman regardless of who she is. I don't see it as ok at all. It got very physical so turned out I was in the er for quite a while getting monitored. I am getting a order of protection against him tomorrow. I just didn't want to seem like a b***h for not letting him see him.
Quoting Tabitha Barbour:" That is a good point, I don't want my son thinking it's ok to ever hit ANY woman regardless of who she ... [snip!] ... I am getting a order of protection against him tomorrow. I just didn't want to seem like a b***h for not letting him see him."
That does not make you a b***h for refusing to let someone see him who has been abusive to you and abusive to your unborn child. It makes you a caring and responsible mother who is doing what is right to keep him safe.
This is just it You have someone to protect not just you but that little boy and its not safe for him around that man...You are not a b***h if my husband laid a finger on me it would be done and he would never see his children. My son knows to be respectful to women and that is because his father is an amazing man who treats me right and that is exactly what he needs in his life not someone who is willing to hurt him and his mommy. You are brave just for dealing with it for so long I couldn't possibly imagine going what your going through. I am sorry but you have to remember this there is a reason your son is here and no matter how big or how small that reason you have to protect that little boy with everything you've got and yourself. If you were being monitored at the hospital and if it got that bad than this "coward" of a man doesn't deserve the title of "daddy" or anything else for that matter. I have a friend who was 6 months pregnant just found out she was having a girl that day and she never told her ex until she started feeling guilty well he came over and punched her in the stomach saying he prayed to God that the baby would die....I've seen it and I can't understand how a man can't man up for the choices he himself made. I am sorry and if you'd like to talk you can always PM me!
Thank you ladies! You guys made me feel like lot less of a b***h for this. I feel much better now :)!!!!! Oh and would any of you know what the chances of if he did take me to court to try to fight custody, what the chances he would get part custody would be?
if you have it documented that the abuse got physical? non you went to the hospital to get monitored they should have that on file. Even if he has a job but doesnt have a place of his own it sounds very unlikely.