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......... nowhere, NW, United States 25972 posts
4th Nov '12

<blockquote><b>Quoting HopingforaMiracle:</b>" I think to cuss to a child is bad parenting and then to top it off with a mean tone of voice is even worse parenting"</blockquote>




Eh, I don't think so..
It's just words..not for everyone but it doesn't make another a bad parent.
I cuss like a sailor sometimes. Owell.

......... nowhere, NW, United States 25972 posts
4th Nov '12

<blockquote><b>Quoting lilredsmurfy:</b>" I dunno about New York, but here it is completely legal to spank your child with an open hand on the ... [snip!] ... the ages of 2 and 12. I don't, but to each their own. Guess I'm just lucky I've never been in a situation that I'd have to."</blockquote>




My bad..I read it wrong.

Supafly★ 2 kids; Poland 14113 posts
5th Nov '12

Sorry, I went to bed. Where the hell did I say it's illegal to spank? It isn't. But if a kid goes to school and starts talking about their parents "bust their ass" that could lead to some trouble.
When I think of "busting one's ass" I think of punches, leaving marks, ect. Didn't know you guys considered that the same as spanking, :?

Gor-Jess! Due December 30 (girl); TTC since Jan 2014; 4 kids; 1 angel baby; Queen Creek, Arizona 10198 posts
5th Nov '12
Quoting Supafly★:" If they're not going to follow through(and probably can't since that's illegal)l they should not be threatening to. "


I think this is where everyone is getting it. It sounds like you are saying its illegal to spank. I've never heard of busting ass meaning punching and leaving marks. I have always seen it as spanking...and I think most people do...which is why they see you saying its illegal to spank.

NopeNotGonnaDOIt 6 kids; Cuba 3000 posts
5th Nov '12

It's a figure of speech, not a big deal.

Supafly★ 2 kids; Poland 14113 posts
5th Nov '12
Quoting Gor-Jess!:" I think this is where everyone is getting it. It sounds like you are saying its illegal to spank. I've ... [snip!] ... marks. I have always seen it as spanking...and I think most people do...which is why they see you saying its illegal to spank. "


Oh, different meaning. I probably should've worded differently lol.

EnnaBennaBanana Due February 2; 2 kids; Maryland 6195 posts
5th Nov '12
Quoting I'm Marbles:" THIS IS NOT A D&D ABOUT SPANKING!!!!!!!! It is about what was said. Here is the example: A child ... [snip!] ... I am talking about the wording, "bust your ass" not threatening a spanking. I probably should have added that at the beginning "


I don't think it's ok to talk to your child like that at all.
I have nothing against spankings, we don't spank we use time outs for our lil man, but I was spanked as a kid and I have nothing against parents who use spankings. but using that language..I don't think it's ok. And I think a parent who uses that language will probably more likely use spanking in a bad manner and abuse while doing so.



Gor-Jess! Due December 30 (girl); TTC since Jan 2014; 4 kids; 1 angel baby; Queen Creek, Arizona 10198 posts
5th Nov '12
Quoting EnnaBennaBanana:" I don't think it's ok to talk to your child like that at all. I have nothing against spankings, we ... [snip!] ... I think a parent who uses that language will probably more likely use spanking in a bad manner and abuse while doing so. "


I say it to my kids and they rarely get spankings...and when they do, they get a couple open handed swats on the hiney, nothing more. So thats a pretty awful assumption you made there. :roll:

Supafly★ 2 kids; Poland 14113 posts
5th Nov '12
Quoting EnnaBennaBanana:" I don't think it's ok to talk to your child like that at all. I have nothing against spankings, we ... [snip!] ... I think a parent who uses that language will probably more likely use spanking in a bad manner and abuse while doing so. "


I agree with everything but the last part. Someone who gives their kid a "tap" or a "swat" could be spanking just as hard.

EnnaBennaBanana Due February 2; 2 kids; Maryland 6195 posts
5th Nov '12
Quoting Gor-Jess!:" I say it to my kids and they rarely get spankings...and when they do, they get a couple open handed swats on the hiney, nothing more. So thats a pretty awful assumption you made there. :roll:"


I'm sorry.I just don't like using that language with children. Why even say it then? What's the point? I'm just curious.
I was spanked as a kid, I see nothing wrong with spankings but my parents would talk to me about what I did first and explain why I was getting a spanking then I would get one. And it was never on bare bottom and never left marks but it did teach me a lesson. I don't know how telling a child you will "bust their ass" does much good.



Gor-Jess! Due December 30 (girl); TTC since Jan 2014; 4 kids; 1 angel baby; Queen Creek, Arizona 10198 posts
5th Nov '12
Quoting EnnaBennaBanana:" I'm sorry.I just don't like using that language with children. Why even say it then? What's the point? ... [snip!] ... left marks but it did teach me a lesson. I don't know how telling a child you will "bust their ass" does much good. "


My mom used it on me and my siblings. I never saw it as bad and she never got out of control with the spankings. I use it when my kids are REALLY acting out and its a very serious warning that they better shape up. 9 times out of 10 it works like a charm. When it doesn't, thats when the spanking occurs.

Proginoskes II 3 kids; North Carolina 1295 posts
5th Nov '12
Quoting HopingforaMiracle:" I think to cuss to a child is bad parenting and then to top it off with a mean tone of voice is even worse parenting"

Wait, what? It's bad parenting to speak to a child with harsh tone? I'm not going to speak sweetly when my child is acting like a wild child, I'm going to speak in the manner that tells her to shape up.
If she's upset or over-tired, I'll be more understanding, but just being bad, hell yeah I'm going to sound mean.

EnnaBennaBanana Due February 2; 2 kids; Maryland 6195 posts
5th Nov '12
Quoting Gor-Jess!:" My mom used it on me and my siblings. I never saw it as bad and she never got out of control with the ... [snip!] ... warning that they better shape up. 9 times out of 10 it works like a charm. When it doesn't, thats when the spanking occurs. "


It just seems like a very scary threat to me. My parents were pretty strict but would never speak that way to me. I guess I just don't like it. When I hear parents talk to their children like that it just makes me feel uncomfortable. I'm not saying you are a bad parent or anything like that. We just have different ways of doing things.

Gor-Jess! Due December 30 (girl); TTC since Jan 2014; 4 kids; 1 angel baby; Queen Creek, Arizona 10198 posts
5th Nov '12
Quoting EnnaBennaBanana:" It just seems like a very scary threat to me. My parents were pretty strict but would never speak that ... [snip!] ... me feel uncomfortable. I'm not saying you are a bad parent or anything like that. We just have different ways of doing things."


Well, sometimes you need to put a little scare in kids to get them to behave. I know when my mom said it, I knew she meant business. But its not like I was ever afraid she would hurt me. Its just a saying. It could mean different things to different people...there might be some people who say it and go and abuse their children. But there are parents who say it as a warning...and their kids learnthat it means to straighten up, and straighten up FAST!

EnnaBennaBanana Due February 2; 2 kids; Maryland 6195 posts
5th Nov '12
Quoting Gor-Jess!:" Well, sometimes you need to put a little scare in kids to get them to behave. I know when my mom said ... [snip!] ... But there are parents who say it as a warning...and their kids learnthat it means to straighten up, and straighten up FAST! "


To each their own with this. Personally it makes me uncomfortable and I wouldn't speak to my son like that and I don't really like hearing others speak to their children like that but..everyone parents differently. And that's ok..
With my son if he misbehaves he gets a serious tone, my husband and I don't talk in a sweet tone when he's introuble. He knows when he hears a certain tone, uh oh...you know I need to listen. If he doesn't, it's time out. And that works pretty good..he's a very well behaved child. I just don't like using the language "i'm gonna bust your ass" It makes me very uncomfortable.