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Having a joint birthday party.... Stephloveslynden Due August 2; 2 kids; 1 angel baby; California 24403 posts
4th Nov '12

My girls are 23 months apart which means that their birthdays are one month apart. Instead of doing two parties back to back, I decided to throw them a joint party since they of course have all the same friends anyway. I figured I'd save myself time, money and stress by doing this. I am planning on throwing them a HUGE party with fake snow and a rented Santa. Anyway, since I sent out the invite, I've had a few people email me and ask if they can get them a joint present or if they are obligated to buy them both presents.



I don't know how to handle this. I don't want to sound selfish or materialistic because my girls have everything anyway and really don't need more stuff but I think it would make them sad to "share" presents on their birthday. Generally speaking, they share a lot of things and they don't mind but I know they'd be sad opening presents and having only one to open between the two of them. I want to explain to guests that I could care less if they buy my girls some really awesome present or two gifts from the Dollar Store but that each girl deserves a gift. What would you do if you were me? Would you say something? Would you just say "a joint present is fine?" I realize that a party on December 1 is close to the holidays which is a tight time for a lot of people financially but they way I see it is if I were to throw them two separate parties then people would bring presents to both and BOTH my girls have a birthday being celebrated at the party.



Also, I was planning on either getting them two cakes or doing cupcakes for the party. Regardless of what I do with the cakes, they'll each have the correct amount of candles to blow out for their birthday. Any suggestions? I could do one cake with two sets of candles, they sit next to each other all the time anyway.

user banned Altadena, California 11084 posts
4th Nov '12

My older sister and I's birthdays are really close together, and I hated having to share a party with her. We got along fine, we just wanted our separate parties. So my mom would throw mine at the beginning of the month and hers at the end. Yeah it did cost a little more but back then there were no Santas to rent....it was June LOL.



Anywho, I would definitely get two separate cakes, maybe one chocolate and one white/vanilla.



Also depending who it is wanting to buy a joint gift, if it were a close friend or family member I would explain how you did about two gifts. If they aren't so close I would say yeah.

Stephloveslynden Due August 2; 2 kids; 1 angel baby; California 24403 posts
4th Nov '12
Quoting I'm Marbles:" My older sister and I's birthdays are really close together, and I hated having to share a party with ... [snip!] ... it were a close friend or family member I would explain how you did about two gifts. If they aren't so close I would say yeah. "


Yeah I already told one person it was fine because we aren't super close or anything. My girls are too little to care right now. I think next year when Alice is in school and will have different friends and more opinions, I'll do something different. Last year, we threw two parties.

ashley noel [gav's here!] 2 kids; Rhode Island 6374 posts
4th Nov '12

*watching* since my kids will have birthdays within a week or two of each other... two parties is silly to me for something THAT close

Aria Dawn's mommy 33 kids; Texas 1864 posts
4th Nov '12

My brothers birthday's are a week apart. When they were younger it was fine. They reach had their own presents and cake. The older they got the more they hated it, so my parents started doing them separately all together.

user banned Altadena, California 11084 posts
4th Nov '12
Quoting Steph+Alice+Caroline:" Yeah I already told one person it was fine because we aren't super close or anything. My girls are too ... [snip!] ... is in school and will have different friends and more opinions, I'll do something different. Last year, we threw two parties."


I understand if Anths birthday was closer to Sassys I would probably throw a party or two joint because they are little. However I do have to deal with my sister in laws kids, Both of them managed to be born within 2 weeks of both of my kids birthdays. They constantly want to join parties.

user banned Altadena, California 11084 posts
4th Nov '12
Quoting ashley noel [5 days!]:" *watching* since my kids will have birthdays within a week or two of each other... two parties is silly to me for something THAT close"


I am June 17th my sisters is June 18th. She is almost a year older, my mom would throw me a party at the beginning of June and my sister one at the end or in July. Its not silly, because honestly one of them will alway get left out. Weather it is gifts or whatever.

Stephloveslynden Due August 2; 2 kids; 1 angel baby; California 24403 posts
4th Nov '12
Quoting ashley noel [5 days!]:" *watching* since my kids will have birthdays within a week or two of each other... two parties is silly to me for something THAT close"


Exactly! Plus we plan to celebrate each of the girls' birthdays as a family so they still get their birthdays. We'll do something special and have them open their presents from us on their actual birthdays and then the party is in between both birthdays.



BTW, you need to hurry up and have that baby!

user banned Shreveport, Louisiana 66739 posts
4th Nov '12

I think you are doing the right thing on so many levels :D
First of all its teaching them to be a little less materialistic, and that is SOOO important.
Second of all its kind of a waste. I mean they can get their own presents, but to have two parties is crazy and would make you crazy. You can just throw one over the top party.
They are really to young to hate it. If one day they say they dont want it then you can stop, but they may like it, they are super close.



A suggestion? Maybe if you keep doing it through the years, you can do the joint party. But you can have a special day out for each of them. Where the other goes to a sitter and you have a special day with just the one girl and you can just be daddy mommy and them. So they get their own special birthday celebrating doing something they choose.

*VuHnEsSaH* 1 child; Colorado 8049 posts
4th Nov '12

I'd probably just say it's fine. If someone is planning on giving them a joint gift maybe it's something a little more expensive that they would like to have. Plus, w/ all the other gifts they will be opening I'm sure they won't notice. & if they did it could turn into a good lesson about being grateful.

ashley noel [gav's here!] 2 kids; Rhode Island 6374 posts
5th Nov '12

<blockquote><b>Quoting Steph+Alice+Caroline:</b>" Exactly! Plus we plan to celebrate each of the girls' birthdays as a family so they still get their ... [snip!] ... us on their actual birthdays and then the party is in between both birthdays. BTW, you need to hurry up and have that baby!"</blockquote>




I know :( I'm certainly WANTING him out...
Dunno why it's so comfy in there!

Stephloveslynden Due August 2; 2 kids; 1 angel baby; California 24403 posts
5th Nov '12
Quoting TantricLemons:" I think you are doing the right thing on so many levels :D First of all its teaching them to be a little ... [snip!] ... girl and you can just be daddy mommy and them. So they get their own special birthday celebrating doing something they choose."

Thank you! I feel so reassured now.
I love your suggestion! We are doing that with Alice this year. She is going off with her godmother on her actual birthday and will get to have lunch with her and go pick out a present at the toy store. I am going to take Caroline shopping by herself too although I think she might a little too younger to appreciate it the way Alice will. I know Alice will feel so special going off with "Auntie Shell" all by herself.

Stephloveslynden Due August 2; 2 kids; 1 angel baby; California 24403 posts
5th Nov '12
Quoting ashley noel [5 days!]:" <blockquote><b>Quoting Steph+Alice+Caroline:</b>" Exactly! Plus we plan to celebrate ... [snip!] ... up and have that baby!"</blockquote> I know :( I'm certainly WANTING him out... Dunno why it's so comfy in there!"

I hope he comes soon. I've been thinking of you!

user banned Shreveport, Louisiana 66739 posts
5th Nov '12
Quoting Steph+Alice+Caroline:" Thank you! I feel so reassured now. I love your suggestion! We are doing that with Alice this year. She ... [snip!] ... younger to appreciate it the way Alice will. I know Alice will feel so special going off with "Auntie Shell" all by herself."

I think you are doing a great thing on so many levels. Its important for them and you.

Stephloveslynden Due August 2; 2 kids; 1 angel baby; California 24403 posts
5th Nov '12
Quoting TantricLemons:" I think you are doing a great thing on so many levels. Its important for them and you."


Thank you. In some ways it is sort of selfish of me because I don't want two parties that close to the holidays, I run a meetup.com playgroup and I have to throw a holiday party for that as well so this time of year is overwhelming. But I figure, my girls have enough parties among the playgroup and with their special celebrations their joint party will be fine. Besides, right now, they are best friends and do everything together so two parties would mean inviting all the same people twice. I already told Alice about it and she is so excited to have her birthday with Caroline. She just likes "having friends over and playing with them and eating cake." She said lol.