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Cast Your Vote:

    • Be a SAHM -- Votes: 40
    • Get a job -- Votes: 14
ƒideℓis ϟ 1 child; Cherry Hill, New Jersey 5085 posts
5th Nov '12
Quoting
Nessy, Nova, and Bam Due March 4 (boy); 18 kids; 1 angel baby; Spokane, WA, United States 5241 posts
5th Nov '12
Quoting HopingforaMiracle:" <blockquote><b>Quoting Nova and Nessa's Momma:</b>" We are able to pay for everything ... [snip!] ... she doesn't, then I would get a job. "</blockquote> SSI would maybe be 600. I get disability and I make 919 a month."

I looked up the highest a child can receive for SSI and it's close to $700. I don't know how much we'd get approved for, but I know it would help us a lot.



And the bottom line, if she does get approved for SSI, then we would be able to live much better off than we are now. I'm not happy in the situation we are in now, but we do need some help until SO gets out of school, that's just the way it is, until we get on our feet.



If she didn't have DS and didn't need to be worked with daily, then I wouldn't be thinking about this kind of stuff. I literally work with her every day, with her little brush to help her learn lip closure and reduce her tongue thrust, and exercises to help strengthen her trunk and neck muscles, we do our PT every few hours. And we have no family or friends who can watch the girls during the day, everyone works or is going to school. /:

Ryloonjimama Australia 18851 posts
5th Nov '12

Plus he's obviously in school to one day build a career... it's not like it's a forever thing.

K65 Due April 20 (girl); Texas 118 posts
5th Nov '12
Quoting
Derp Due January 10; 1 child; Camp Lejeune, NC, United States 11613 posts
5th Nov '12

It makes me sad to see how many people find it okay to live in such a precarious situation when it comes to finances. What if something were to happen? All it would take is one car wreck, one illness, one injury, one arrest... That's all it would take to pull this family of four down.



There's nothing wrong with working a job and living paycheck to paycheck but when you bring children into the equation and you're charged with caring for said children, well, don't you want to provide a stable future for them? Of course you do. Unfortunately you more than likely cannot provide financial stability if only one parent is working a job that isn't even guaranteed for more than a few months. There's just no way.



No, people shouldn't have to be wealthy before they have kids but if there's any way a family can improve their ability to provide--especially in a time of need--then that family should jump on the opportunity. In OP's case her state apparently provides childcare for children with disabilities on top of the SSI she will more than likely receive. This would mean childcare is covered and OP could go to work and help provide a more stable future for her family.



Her children will be just fine without their mother being there 24/7. Plenty of children do well without a parent staying home to care for them and quite honestly, I don't believe a parent should stay home unless they can honestly say they're financially secure to begin with. To me that just seems like common sense because once again, shit happens. All it would take to destroy a family in this situation is one bad event =/



Once again I don't mean to sound harsh... I'm just being realistic. OP, I wish you luck with whatever you decide to do.

ƒideℓis ϟ 1 child; Cherry Hill, New Jersey 5085 posts
5th Nov '12
Quoting Ryloonjimama:" Honestly, people can say whatever they want, they might think it's selfish, but I would definitely stay ... [snip!] ... you buy can't be brand new.... love and support and providing a stable homelife is more important than material possessions."


It's not even about buying things! Like The Raptor Jesus person said early its all about financial security! Anything can happen. Why risk it by being a "SAHM"? Who WANTS to struggle to get by? When you have kids there are sacrifices you have to make and sometimes time away from them working to ensure stability for their futures is the road you have to take.

ZoeysMum 1 child; Arizona 827 posts
5th Nov '12

Neither do we. I'm just saying if its necessary at the time than some people have to do what they have to do. Dh gets the gi but he also works so we don't ever feel like were taking advantage of anyone. And Im sure that's not the OP'S intention. It sounds like a tough situation. Living paycheck to paycheck is not fun or ideal but neither is having s child with DS and having to struggle with trusting someone to care for her properly just for your paycheck to go to childcare. If it made a significant difference in income I can see the appeal but realistically will it truly help?

Nessy, Nova, and Bam Due March 4 (boy); 18 kids; 1 angel baby; Spokane, WA, United States 5241 posts
6th Nov '12
Quoting Ryloonjimama:" Plus he's obviously in school to one day build a career... it's not like it's a forever thing."

Thank you lol. He is going to school so that one day he can have a good career and we're not in this situation anymore! His mom did the same thing, she went to school and got state help while she was getting on her feet, and now she has her own business and her own house, and is doing well for herself. We don't plan on being in this situation forever.

ƒideℓis ϟ 1 child; Cherry Hill, New Jersey 5085 posts
6th Nov '12
Quoting Raptor Jesus:" It makes me sad to see how many people find it okay to live in such a precarious situation when it comes ... [snip!] ... =/ Once again I don't mean to sound harsh... I'm just being realistic. OP, I wish you luck with whatever you decide to do."


I don't think you sound harsh. Everything you are saying is true. The amount of people encouraging her to stay home is sad. :(

HopingforaMiracle 1 child; USA 23030 posts
6th Nov '12

<blockquote><b>Quoting Nova and Nessa's Momma:</b>" I looked up the highest a child can receive for SSI and it's close to $700. I don't know how much we'd ... [snip!] ... few hours. And we have no family or friends who can watch the girls during the day, everyone works or is going to school. /: "</blockquote>




Oh ok. I understand I really do. If I could work I would be in the same predicament.

ƒideℓis ϟ 1 child; Cherry Hill, New Jersey 5085 posts
6th Nov '12
Quoting Nova and Nessa's Momma:" but we do need some help until SO gets out of school, that's just the way it is, until we get on our feet. "


You can help by getting a job....

ƒideℓis ϟ 1 child; Cherry Hill, New Jersey 5085 posts
6th Nov '12
Quoting Ryloonjimama:" Plus he's obviously in school to one day build a career... it's not like it's a forever thing."


Anything can happen....don't be so sure...

☆º×ß¡±©µ×º☆ 4 kids; 1 angel baby; Grand Forks, ND, United States 45964 posts
6th Nov '12
Quoting Kendra65:" I believe I read that they receive money from the GI Bill, I may be wrong and I apologize if I am ... [snip!] ... Its just my opinion and I may be biased because my sister in law has DS, and I know the struggles they have gone through"


that was someone else

ƒideℓis ϟ 1 child; Cherry Hill, New Jersey 5085 posts
6th Nov '12
Quoting Nova and Nessa's Momma:" Thank you lol. He is going to school so that one day he can have a good career and we're not in this ... [snip!] ... she has her own business and her own house, and is doing well for herself. We don't plan on being in this situation forever. "


What about YOUR schooling and YOUR career? Or do you plan to live off of SO forever?

Derp Due January 10; 1 child; Camp Lejeune, NC, United States 11613 posts
6th Nov '12
Quoting Ryloonjimama:" Plus he's obviously in school to one day build a career... it's not like it's a forever thing."

Careers are not guaranteed just because a person is in school and GI bills, quite frankly, only cover so much. A family of four cannot continue to thrive on money from his GI bill and a part time job that isn't guaranteed for more than a few months (I'm assuming it's part time because he's in school too but if I'm wrong then I apologize).



I feel like everyone should strive to bring stability to their families and you just can't say you're stable if only one parent is working a job that isn't guaranteed for more than a few months. Most financial experts recommend having a savings account that is large enough to live off of for several months should something happen. Unless a family has that kind of money then they probably shouldn't have one parent staying at home because, once again, shit happens.



It's not that they can't live comfortably in the moment. Clearly they can because OP says they're fine. It's that if something were to happen they would be utterly unprepared.



Families should strive for safety and stability. I don't understand how it's enough for so many parents to say they're comfortable. You should be able to handle emergency situations and such. You shouldn't just meet the bare minimum, you should be able to provide for your family even in dire times.



Or maybe Fidelis and I are just over-achievers.



*Edit: I think I saw another poster say the person talking about living off of a husband's GI Bill is different from the OP and if that's the case then I apologize.