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I just don't know... vent (LONG) E'M Shikari Due March 10 (boy); 1 child; 1 angel baby; Preston, United Kingdom 1747 posts
6th Nov '12

If I am being unfair. So DD is nearly seven weeks old. She sleeps in my room with me, while SO sleeps in the spare room so her 'crying' doesn't wake him because he has to get up for uni, even though she sleeps from midnight until 8, doesn't even cry then, just gargles until I feed her, then goes back to sleep until 12 midday (how lucky am I, right?!). SO is out at uni from 9 until 5 while I have to stay in all day every day doing 'mum stuff' ie feeding, changing, washing clothes, cleaning. And some days he comes home about 7 or 8 because he is at his friends or whatever. He also goes out drinking until 3/4am at least twice a week.
Fair enough he goes to university, but I gave up my uni to be a SAHM so he could go and get qualifications. So is it too much to ask that he looks after her when he gets home for a bit? He's only changed her nappy three times since she was born. He's only fed her a couple of times when I have begged because I need to lay down due to bad back problems that aren't helped by posture when feeding. He always moans when I ask him to do anything for her. Like 'oh I'm tired, YOU do it, it's YOUR job, I don't know HOW to do anything'. Erm, well you obviously know how to change a nappy etc because you've done it before?! At the weekend he sometimes takes her for a little while in the morning but I still have to get up to feed her at eight while he sleeps. And then as soon as I'm up he hands her straight back to me, then uses the fact he took her for like an hour as an excuse not to do anything for her for the rest of the day.



I'm a long term sufferer of depression and now have PPD too which just makes all of this seem so much more f**king annoying. I feel like a single mum, and I shouldn't have to feel that way. Blarghhh. I'm really starting to hate him.

greenmamabecky☮ TTC since Jul 2013; 18 kids; Enfield, Connecticut 20987 posts
6th Nov '12

I didn't even read the whole thing because I didn't need to. I would never be with someone like that. He is so wrong on so many levels. Idk how you haven't left yet...

3 little monsters 3 kids; Olathe, Colorado 50990 posts
6th Nov '12

He needs to help out. Period.

October2011 2 kids; Pennsylvania 6870 posts
6th Nov '12

Screw that. I wouldnt deal with that. Being a stay at home mom is a very life changing thing.. its wonderful to be able to stay home with your children, but its also gets very lonely, and not having help makes it worse. If he goes out drinking, you should be able to go out as well and do something.But, Honestly since my son was born a year ago, niether my husband and i have been out. at all. we've only gone out together one time..and that was our anniversary. It's all about baby now! Your man needs to realize that life is different, he is first and foremost..a daddy..hopefully he realizes that soon.

Justine's Mama Due November 28 (boy); 1 child; Boynton Beach, Florida 1939 posts
6th Nov '12

Wow you do a lot, he should at least help out in someway. You should definitely talk to him its his child too. That's sad a man doesn't even want to take care of their child.

Derp Due January 10; 1 child; Camp Lejeune, NC, United States 11601 posts
6th Nov '12

He's her father. It's not unfair for you to ask him to, you know, be a dad.

britty06 Due March 5 (girl); 3 kids; St. Paul, MN, United States 492 posts
6th Nov '12

what a douche.



didn't you guys discuss any of this before DD was born? my friend's husband is like this... but it's her fault because she agreed that it was "a woman's job to stay home and take care of the kids" (her thought, not mine).

me and my bf share responsibility.

E'M Shikari Due March 10 (boy); 1 child; 1 angel baby; Preston, United Kingdom 1747 posts
6th Nov '12
Quoting britty06:" what a douche. didn't you guys discuss any of this before DD was born? my friend's husband is ... [snip!] ... it was "a woman's job to stay home and take care of the kids" (her thought, not mine). me and my bf share responsibility."


Yeah we did, he said he would help out, but then his mum got involved saying 'he must have his sleep' etc etc. I hate his parents...

britty06 Due March 5 (girl); 3 kids; St. Paul, MN, United States 492 posts
6th Nov '12
Quoting Ellie Shikari:" Yeah we did, he said he would help out, but then his mum got involved saying 'he must have his sleep' etc etc. I hate his parents..."


i would be so irritated. he gave up his sleep when he chose to have DD. hopefully he comes to his senses... other wise you're going to resent him.